how to prevent tragedy?

flockofmoosen3 · August 2014

I read an article recently about children being left in cars, and I've heard a few news stories recently about that where the poor babies did not survive. This terrifies me, as I'm sure it does every other parent here.

The article did a nice job of explaining how even the most careful and loving parents can make the mistake of forgetting their child in the car and it doesn't have to do with priorities, which is the first thing that comes to mind for most. It explained that in most cases, there was a routine (habit) that had been interrupted or changed, and the parent had gone on autopilot as many people do while driving familiar routes. One case they highlighted, the mother had a vivid vision of dropping her daughter off at daycare, and then believed for the rest of the day that she actually had done it. In another case, the mother was caught up with her toddler and forgot to take her baby out but fortunately she realized it in time to rescue her. I cried the whole time I was reading this article, so I'm sorry to make anyone else sad, too. The point of the article was to remind parents that it's just not "bad parents" that do this, but even the "good" ones, so we all have to be extra careful.

In my car, I have the car seat in the center (which is OK for my car) and also a baby mirror. I can see both clearly from my rear view mirror, which I check frequently. I feel like that in itself is a pretty good reminder for me that my DD is with me. Also, I have a habit of peering into my car as I walk away just in case I forgot something in there.

My question is, how have you guys planned to remember that you have a child in the car with you? I've heard of tying things to do the door handles, or keys...I just hope that no one here ever has to go through something like that. I feel like I would die of heartbreak.

yvanehtnioj · August 2014

If the car seat is in the car I pull back the little canopy before I exit. But this may not work because a lot of the time I'm pulling the baby out of the car so I wouldn't necessarily pull back the canopy every time. Maybe I'll start putting my purse in the back seat. I read a heartbreaking, Pulitzer Prize winning article about this someone posted on the Parenting board. I think a dangerous risk factor is believing you would never do this. That leads
to complacency in my opinion. Stay humble and vigilant.

PattyTC · August 2014

I worry about this with DH. He will be in charge of dropping DD off in the mornings and he is just so forgetful sometimes. The news suggested things like putting your wallet and phone in the back and diaper bag in the front seat or asking the daycare to call if your child's not there by a certain time. I was thinking maybe a phone call to me or from me as a double check. I need to come up with something helpful soon as it is a real worry that can happen to anyone.

LeeLee86 · August 2014

Put one of your shoes in the backseat by the car seat. You won't get far without one of your shoes! As my group nurse said it's not bad parents who leave their children it's distracted parents. It could happen to anyone and not just in the heat, it's still a concern all year round.

QOTR · August 2014

I think I read the same article OP as the stories are similar. It happened in my town a couple of years ago and it is gut-wrenching to hear/read about. Like previous comments, we plan to leave purse/laptop bag in the backseat and work out a system to have daycare call us if we're late. I have an added concern that my LO's grandparents are older, so I worry that they may be more likely to forget or be disrupted by an interruption to their routine, so I'll make frequent check-ins with them if they ever drive with him.

Junebug060609 · August 2014

If either kid is in the car (my almost 3 year old is also non-verbal), the diaper bag is on the seat next to me.

mrsbtobe20122 · August 2014

Junebug060609 said:
If either kid is in the car (my almost 3 year old is also non-verbal), the diaper bag is on the seat next to me.

Good idea junebug

dogsombrero · August 2014

I put my purse on the floor under his car seat. I like the shoe idea though definitely won't forget that.

apinkpelican · August 2014

PattyTC said:
I worry about this with DH. He will be in charge of dropping DD off in the mornings and he is just so forgetful sometimes. The news suggested things like putting your wallet and phone in the back and diaper bag in the front seat or asking the daycare to call if your child's not there by a certain time. I was thinking maybe a phone call to me or from me as a double check. I need to come up with something helpful soon as it is a real worry that can happen to anyone.

I worry about this with DH too (he's so focused and anxious about work in the mornings) and he really got offended when I suggested he send me an email each morning just confirming she got settled into DC each day. For him it'd be best to keep his cell in the back. That way he won't text/email and drive with her in the car and he wouldn't forget his phone. I'm not sure I can get him to do this though... We'll see. We start DC tomorrow .... Boo hoo

lrmrtn · August 2014

I always check the rearview mirror before I leave the car. I also worry about DH since he's so busy in the morning and sleep deprived so I text him just to make sure DC drop off went OK. It's hard to imagine forgetting your child but I'm sure these parents thought the same thing.

britab · August 2014

Remember things in the back seat ( or really anywhere in the car) can become projectiles in a wreck.

crystalmir91385 · August 2014

DD's diaper bag doubles as my purse. I put it in the backseat with her, so it is nearly impossible to leave her there. There are not many places one can go without needing their phone or wallet.

I did just see this article about an alarm that you put on your keychain. It goes off when your a certain distance from the car. Sounds pretty foolproof to me.

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