Who's having two baby showers? edit

courtd2 · August 2014

I'd much prefer having one. But my mother and my mother in law have refused to work with each other. Some quotes from the conversation...

"It's my daughter, and my grandson."

"I want something more intimate"

"It's my first grand baby."

"I don't want to take control, but..."

My mother and mother in law are two very different people. I'm not sure how I'm going to go about inviting my friends. Which friends go to which shower? I know the families are basically being split up for either side... sigh. Am I the only one? Is it normal to have more then one shower? Any coping solutions? My boss is not going to be happy with me booking 2 weekends off in one month.

calm blue ocean. calm blue ocean.

edit: thanks for your input/advice ladies! Looks like a lot of you are having multiple baby showers. After reading all of your posts, and thinking a lot. It will be really nice to have more face time with the guests who are taking time out of their weekend to be there and celebrate with me. Being able to do the special and traditional things with my own family will be very nice. My in laws really know how to make someone feel welcome and comfortable, it'll be great getting to know them all even more.

Over all, I'm very fortunate and lucky to be surrounded by so many people that care for me!
I'll just freak out a little. X_X

BayCamp · August 2014

We are technically having 3 (ugh I feel like a horrible person) my sister is throwing us a big fancy family shower, and my best friend is doing a small co-ed cookout on a weekday since many of our friends work weekends and couldn't make it to the other shower. My aunt is insisting on a shower when I go back to my hometown in September so there's that as well. I feel disgustingly gift grabby, I'm glad this baby is so loved but I feel awkward.

courtd2 · August 2014

BayCamp That's exactly how I'm feeling too! I don't want people thinking I'm having multiple showers to be gift grabby.

AJIrishMama A lot of the family on my side of the family live 5+ hours away as well. I wasn't sure how well our families would mesh together either. Maybe this is a good thing. So for you it was better to have the second shower?

BdblZ · August 2014

Nothing to add, but will stalk this post also looking for advice. When asked, i did make it clear to both Mom & MIL that I would prefer one shower, but since i'm not hosting, I have no idea what the final verdict will be. They were able to figure it out for the wedding shower, so I am hoping they can do it again.

aggiejenn37 · August 2014

I'm in a similar situation though not feuding "moms". A dear friend is hosting a shower in my hometown for "local friends and their moms" and she said she was sure I would have another one for my and DHs families. Since she kind of specified who she was hosting for Id feel terrible inviting everyone to that shower. My sis in law offered to throw me a small family shower. I don't live in the area anymore (and haven't for 5 years) so that's 2 weekend car trips I'll be making, 5hrs each way. AND since I've lived somewhere else for 5 years and have friends and family here, my other SIL is throwing me a shower where I live now. I don't want to be the center of attention THREE times!! Awkward!

ebl2 · August 2014

Sorry, I didn't have 2 showers because of family issues. I had one with family and then some women from my church gave me one. I think it would be fine to have two if it means both sides will get what they want and there will be no conflicts. As for your friends, I would tell them you're having two for different sides of the family and see which date works best for them.

Sorry about the stress this has caused you. Dealing with family can be a real PITA sometimes. Also, I'm sure you're not the first employee to request two weekends off in the same month. Your boss will deal, it's not like you do it often (which it sounds like you don't).

Shortstack06 · August 2014

Originally this was a thought for me with two showers since we both have large families, the shower my mom threw would be the one where I invited friends. We are now doing one, MIL might be having more cancer treatments and i want less stress on her and decided one was enough. My mom(she is hosting) put me in charge of the guest list and I currently have 64 people on the invite list which is immediate family, aunts, cousins, and 10 close friends. His mom came out with what about this person? Did you invite them? I was like Who? Oh, your Dad's cousin's wife. No. That is just too carried away when it is already too big in my opinion and if I could cut the list without offending more people, I would.

racheldiaries · August 2014

I'm having two. I live out of state from all my family and long-term friends; therefore, one will be thrown in my hometown. Then the other one will be here with my friend throwing it for me with our other friends in attendance.

courtd2 · August 2014

ebl2 I like that idea of giving my friends both dates an seeing which works best. I've never taken a day off work at this job. I have only been working there a few months though. He knows I'm pregnant and has already mentioned to me that he doesn't take kindly to requesting time off. yikes.

ebl2 · August 2014

courtd2 said:

ebl2 I like that idea of giving my friends both dates an seeing which works best. I've never taken a day off work at this job. I have only been working there a few months though. He knows I'm pregnant and has already mentioned to me that he doesn't take kindly to requesting time off. yikes.

He sounds like a peach.

CandEChicago · August 2014

We are planning on having 2. One here is Chicago where DH, myself, and the ILs live and one back at my home town for my side of the family.

PDXLaurenS · August 2014

I'm doing two also, one hosted by my mom for women in my family (mostly, plus a few from MH's) and the other hosted by my bestie that will be coed and casual. A BBQ if we get super lucky with the weather, otherwise... Not sure.

pregnantinstyle · August 2014

I'm on the same boat right now. My innlaws and husbands side of the family seem like that want to do their own thing at the house and my mom would much rather have one at a restaurant. Our families have always seemed a little separate. They are both culturally different. My boss at work also want to do a baby shower that she plans to do with all of my coworkers so that actually makes three showers. Honestly I don't even want a shower because I don't really need anything since this is my second baby and they will only be two years apart but my family probably wants to see how big I am and celebrate. I just hope nobody gets offended or anything.

taylojade57 · August 2014

I'm having 3. One is from my church when I go back home (that will include my mum/sisters and a few close friends that I kept contact with. And dh's mother if she so chooses.). One from my church friends where I live, and one from friends.
I feel slightly gift-grabby, but there is no possible way to combine any. One is 300 miles away, and the church one here is combined with another pregnant person in our Sunday school class. I'm not inviting my personal friends to a joint shower...

Sarah1253 · August 2014

I am having two. One on my side of the family and one on my husbands side. Its just how they do things. My mom will come to my husbands side and my mother in law will come to my side as well.

slbelfry22 · August 2014

I'm stuck having two. I didn't even want one!! Half my family lives 2-4 hours away, so their argument is the travelling which I totally get. My aunt REALLY wanted to throw me a wedding shower but I refused, so I feel like I have to let her have the baby shower. Then I have the same dilemma as you, my friends want to go but I don't want to ask them to travel 2 hours... So my mom insists I let her throw me one as well, because my mother in law will also want to be at one with my husbands side of the family. My mom and aunt tell me I have no choice because it's not about me, it's about baby... My coping is to just breath and it will be over in a few hours.

QueenOfSpades622 · August 2014

@courtd2 I think I could stare at the gif all day long. It's very entertaining.

erynpdx · August 2014

I'm having three.

One for my SO's family a state away, one for my family and friends, and one thrown by co-workers. I feel weird, but all 3 hostesses are insisting, and I feel like we are avoiding one TOO BIG party where I don't even get to chat with everyone. I'm excited

frenchy816 · August 2014

I'm late to this, but I'm having 2 showers. My first is Saturday and the other is TBD. Between DH and I we have like 75 people to invite and that's not including my friends. I'm only inviting like 5 friends to my shower.

Serunatu · August 2014

I know I'm late, but I'm happy to read this because I thought I was horrible too! I'm having three thrown for me. The first was this weekend and it was close friends from my high school (east side of the state), the next will be in my home town with relatives and family friends (north side of the state), and the final is being thrown by my work and it will be all the coworkers and regulars that come in (west side of the state). Splitting it up made it easier for everyone to make it, and even for me. Too many people from different circles to entertain.

marriedinaugust · August 2014

None this time but 2 last time. One with my huge family in KS and one with his family/friends in CA. I don't have many friends and I worked from NorCal for a company in SoCal so no coworkers. The few friends I had were there with friends of my husband, both showers were coed.

nopegoat · August 2014

I ended up having 3 small showers with my first because I lived 7.5hrs away from family and both of our families hate each other. One for my family, one for his, and one for my friends back home. Definitely not ideal, but eh, whatever.