OT Talk me down? Loss mentioned.

haileyq · August 2014

So in April as many of you ladies know, I had a missed miscarriage that stopped growing at 9w4d and was confirmed at 12w. I'm 8w3d today and have been a nervous wreck all day today. I'm getting to the point in this pregnancy that I was last time when my pregnancy symptoms started to disappear. So today I wake up and feel pretty good, then my boobs don't hurt so badly, then I've had some mild cramping and when I brushed my teeth tonight I barely even gagged (usually I'm fighting vomiting).

I'm trying not to be "that person". I'm a nurse, I don't want to call my OB for every little thing. I've been telling myself that last time was a fluke and this time will be a healthy, full term baby. I remember from being pregnant with DS that first tri had good days and bad days. But I don't remember if cramps are normal from the uterus growing during 1st tri? Ugh. I am that person.

mrshudson618 · August 2014

>:D<

It's okay to be that person!!
And yes, cramps can be normal, which is cruel.

kmc84 · August 2014

(Hugs) bring pregnant after a loss is SO hard! It's damn near impossible not to over analyze every twinge, cramp, or lack thereof.

I have just started my 3rd pregnancy (4w2d to be exact) and other than being tired, I had no symptoms. I had some little twinges, but no gagging, nausea-anything like that.

Take everything one day at a time. I know it's not for everyone, but I loved having a dopplar at home. I never used it after the 1st tri, but it was a nice reassurance to me after my loss.

Cramps are totally normal. If you feel the need to call your OB, call! That's what they are there for. I know as a nurse, you know whatever you call about wont be the craziest call they ever had

sunshineinmay09 · August 2014

((HUGS)) PGAL brain sucks

don't feel guilty about calling your doctor for reassurance. That's what they're there for.
Also, if you haven't done so, you should check out the PGAL board and join in. The ladies over there are awesome and wonderful and incredibly supportive and understanding

countrycotton · August 2014

Cramps are totally normal! There is lots of wonderful things going on in your body right now. Unfortunately, all those wonderful things can make you feel very bad, but our body's do give us a reprieve every now and then. I had awful days in the first trimester, but about once a week I would wake up and feel good. Try not to worry, I know it's hard. On the good days, do something good for your self. Give your teeth that really good scrubbing you haven't been able to, eat that stinky thing that normally make you run out the door. You and your little one will be fine. And you dill feel crummy again....most likely tomorrow.

Into+the+Kitty · August 2014

Cramps are normal.

I've had tons of good days and bad days in first tri, and even had some light spotting, but things are healthy.

Do you have a doppler? It would be too early to pick up the heartbeat right now, but it started working for me between 9-10 weeks, and it can really provide some peace of mind.

PipSqueak0313 · August 2014

Hugs. I had 3 miscarriages between 5.5 and 7 weeks before I had ds2. I remember how hard it was to really relax and enjoy his pregnancy until I had made it beyond 8 weeks. Even then, I had times that I was terrified I was going to lose him too. Take care of yourself, it's all you can really do until you hold that precious little one in your arms. Oh, and any OB worth keeping will understand if you call for reassurance.

TJ1979 · August 2014

I was an absolute wreck the pregnancy after my loss as well, which was also a 9 week loss. Big hugs dear.

I went back to my RE and got weekly ultrasounds bc mentally I couldn't handle waiting. There is nothing wrong with that. And any good, compassionate OB would help you out.

haileyq · August 2014

Into+the+Kitty said:

Cramps are normal.

I've had tons of good days and bad days in first tri, and even had some light spotting, but things are healthy.

Do you have a doppler? It would be too early to pick up the heartbeat right now, but it started working for me between 9-10 weeks, and it can really provide some peace of mind.

I might have to consider this. With DS I was working FT during pregnancy so I would just hijack our doppler during a lull or at the end of my shift (and occasionally the US machine too!) but now I'm on call and just working one day a week. Good idea.

abby8279 · August 2014

I had a hard time after my mc too. I had 2 ultrasounds (in addition to the routine one) with DD#2. The first one was b/c I was cramping very bad at 6 weeks. And the second one was b/c I was spotting at 18 weeks. Both were fine and I carried on to have a healthy baby. The moral of my story is that it is completely normal to freak out after a mc. And also you can have a healthy pregnancy/baby after a loss. The further along I got, the more my mind was at ease. Hoping the same for you. Hugs to you!!

abby8279 · August 2014

Duplicate post. Darn Bump!

abby8279 · August 2014

Oh hell!

haileyq · August 2014

I can't thank you ladies enough for taking the time to write some words of support to an internet stranger. The real bitch about 1st tri is you don't (often times) tell a lot of people until you're OUT of first tri, so I have so few people to talk to about this. It's good to have an ear once in awhile.

I should check out the PGAL board, but I have some mental wall up about that, like it's admitting defeat or something... even though, there's no denying that the miscarriage happened. It's like I had my first 8 week nurse appointment and she confirmed that I was a G4P1 (I'd had a CP a few years ago) and it was like being hit in the gut acknowledging those losses.

sunshineinmay09 · August 2014

Those ladies on the PGAL truly, truly are awesome. Feel free to tell them I sent you over

After I lost Charlotte (at 13 weeks gestation) I had no one in real life to turn to. No one in my family had ever gone through the experience. So when I got pregnant with C, those ladies helped me out so much. It's nice to know that you're not the only one feeling the way you do.

Also, you're not a failure for losing your baby. You are not a bad mother. You are strong, even when you don't feel like you are. ((HUGS mama))

km_md · August 2014

So many (((hugs))) PgAL is so hard. I'm sorry for your loss. I also recommend checking out the PgAL board, it really is great. I don't have any suggestions on how to not be so anxious but I hope that you are feeling better.

And like others have said, cramping is normal. I had lots with DD and it always worried me but I was told that it is normal.

CurlieWhirlie · August 2014

Oh my gosh everything you are feeling is totally normal, and you shouldn't chastise yourself for being "that person". I hope all of the responses here help you see how incredibly common pregnancy loss is — and how many of us go on to then have normal, healthy pregnancies. And this isn't even the PGAL board! Hang in there, and do give yourself a break for being worried/nervous.

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