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October 2014 Moms
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Can I just say...

SaphireShimmerSaphireShimmer member
in October 2014 Moms
I hate being an adult sometimes. Money sucks. Some might remember that my DH got laid off in the spring and went back to school to finish his degree. Well, we finally got approved for student loans but they aren't going to be enough to cover tuition and living expenses so its like "what the heck?!" Its not like we can just get a loan at the bank cause he isn't working, his mom is in a bind financially as well and can't co-sign. My dad just barely got the little mortgage he has now so we wouldn't get approved for much with him. And my mom and step-dad manage 2 households. (she moved in with him when they got married and my siblings are at our old house working and/or going to school so she pays the bills so they can pay/save for school).

Its not like I can get a job right now with being due mid-October. Plus, we have a 3yo son and daycare costs would totally defeat the purpose of working.

Its so frustrating that we have money problems when we have always been really frugal. We haven't gone to a movie (that we paid for) since we got married (7.5 years ago). I don't wear make-up, I don't buy clothes (other than a few maternity outfits earlier this year), I don't go to the salon or anything, we don't have TV or a home phone, our cell plans are the cheapest we can get away with and still function, we have minimal car insurance, we shop the flyers for deals when we grocery shop.

Sorry, I just needed to rant/vent. Its been a stressful evening for me. If you read this, thanks for listening.
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Re: Can I just say...

  • Leysin97Leysin97 member
    Sorry you're going through this. That's really tough.....
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  • JessAnnJJessAnnJ member
    I'm sorry you are stressed. Is there a big gap in what you are being offered and what you need? Has your DH been able to find some part time work while he goes to school?

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  • pinkshades05pinkshades05 member
    I'm so sorry you are going through this :( That sounds like a tough situation. Is your DH getting unemployment? Have you signed up for WIC? Hopefully something can help keep you afloat!

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  • victoria+jamesvictoria+james member
    I know how you feel :(

    When DH and I first started TTC I got laid off. Luckily he had a good job and mine was the savings/debt payoff fund. Then once we did conceive he got laid off late in first tri! I'm now into third tri and he still hasn't found work - I'm stuck working part time retail (for practically nothing) and nannying because nobody would hire me once I was showing.

    I'm so sorry you're going through this - this was not how we planned to start our family and I'm sure it's the same for you. But you will get through this! Just one day at a time...
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  • SaphireShimmerSaphireShimmer member
    edited August 2014
    Because of the way Unemployment pay works here (Alberta, Canada), he would have to be actively looking for a job to qualify and it only goes for so long. Because he is doing full time school, he doesn't have time really for work. He did look but nothing feasible was available. Plus, because we had to get a new benefits plan and pay the premiums (work did before) he wants to get school out of the way and get back into the workforce asap to minimize that cost (we need them as we have a lot of prescriptions and he has other health issues). He is technically taking more than what is deemed as full time credit hours for school to get this done fast and it already takes a huge toll on his health and stress. 

    I think he said we would be given about 1/3 short of what we need. We are going through everything more thoroughly tomorrow and Tuesday (have to wait to hear back from some of our utilities and such on reducing costs) to see what we can cut and how much we need exactly.

    He is looking into scholarships and all that as well so hopefully some of those come through. I just hate all this 'wait and see' stuff and feeling so helpless.
    Thanks for the support, I just need a neutral party to bounce stuff off I guess.
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  • Lele74Lele74 member
    Hang in there! I kinda know how you feel (except we didn't have a LO when we were stuck so I can imagine it being way more stressful). It's hard to get ahead while being poor and the wait and see game sucks. We ate a lot of dried beans and noodles for a long time... Probably not so easy with a toddler.

    It sounds like you're doing the best you can right now so keep doing that. Hopefully this turns around for you guys soon! (((Hugs)))


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  • LaDyBostonRNLaDyBostonRN member
    This is so tough. I've been through something similar (no kids), but there's nothing worse than financial issues. I don't have much to say, but I just hope that things get better sooner than later and hopefully you'll look back on all this someday and say you made it through. 

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  • golfingdarwinfishgolfingdarwinfish member
    edited August 2014
    Sounds so stressful :( I'm sorry your family is going through this all now.

    If he bumps his course load down to full-time and removes the credits that put him over that level, will he be receiving enough aid, or then have a smaller delta that could perhaps be filled with PT work? I understand he wants to accelerate and be done, but perhaps with The LO arriving this fall a full course load is even a better idea so he can focus better? I understand he wants it return to the workforce ASAP, but maybe this fall isn't the best time to overdue it with everything else going on, and if the aid covers FT course load, it's better to take the path of least resistance for just the fall semester?
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  • SaphireShimmerSaphireShimmer member
    golfingdarwinfish said:
    Sounds so stressful :( I'm sorry your family is going through this all now. If he bumps his course load down to full-time and removes the credits that put him over that level, will he be receiving enough aid, or then have a smaller delta that could perhaps be filled with PT work? I understand he wants to accelerate and be done, but perhaps with The LO arriving this fall a full course load is even a better idea so he can focus better? I understand he wants it return to the workforce ASAP, but maybe this fall isn't the best time to overdue it with everything else going on, and if the aid covers FT course load, it's better to take the path of least resistance for just the fall semester?
    He pays per credit hour and actually, they give a bit of a discount so to speak the more courses you take (within reason) so it actually works a bit better financially to do it faster that way. He is taking some easier courses and slightly less credit hours for the term that I am due. He is enrolled in DeVry for online courses and they do things in 2 month terms so its all accelerate anyways.
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  • SaphireShimmerSaphireShimmer member
    beezbeez said:
    I know that it's the opposite of what your plan is, but my husband worked full time and went to school part time (total of 3 full courses in the fall/winter and spring semesters and then 1 full course each summer), and this was manageable for him. Mind you, this was before kids. Could something like that work for you guys? It would take him longer to finish, but he'd be employed the whole time.
    With him being in DeVry, the timing works different. Its all accelerated so courses go for 2 months long and he is taking 3 courses each of these terms. With it this way, he should be able to finish by the end of February. Its just with a mortgage, bills, school costs, health costs, its adding up fast. And not having as much from student loans and needing to find other funding now was not in the plan. I think that is the most stressful at this point because we weren't planning on having more than one loan to worry about paying back, especially with more interest to it.
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  • Sockgnome78Sockgnome78 member
    Been there. The 'wait and see' part is the hardest. Once you have the answers thing will happen. Since YH had been laid off have you looked into other kinds of assistance from the Government? Maybe only for a short time. But might give you the help you need.
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  • wildflower75wildflower75 member
    I'm so sorry you are going through this and pray that something changes soon to open doors financially for you and your family!!
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  • cozybluebearcozybluebear member
    Maybe your husband needs to put school on hold and go back to work. You do what you have to for your family. He can switch to online classes, go part time, or take some time off.
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  • SaragoeswestSaragoeswest member
    This is such a stressful situation. Hopefully there is a good solution in there somewhere. Fewer classes, part time work, anything to get through this season.
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