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The Rollercoaster is over and I'm back (loss mentioned)

LiaMadi1LiaMadi1 member
in TTC After a Loss
So, the month of July was (again) the longest month of my life.  After finding out we were pregnant for the fourth time at the beginning of July, I went in for a scan at what would have been 6 weeks and there was no indication of a baby.  I had some bleeding and then my RE did another scan and only found blood clots.  I denied a DnC initially because I thought it would pass naturally and I had my blood work done.  My levels kept increasing so there was another scan and low and behold a baby with a heart beat.  Well, about a week later I went back to find growth, but no heartbeat at 7 weeks.  So, I went from being pregnant, to having nothing in my ute, to having a baby with a heartbeat, to having a DnC tomorrow afternoon.

I may not be as active right away, but this is really the only safe place I have right now in my life and I trust you ladies so very much.  I hope to get myself back together within the next few weeks and be "back to normal" soon.  I honestly don't know what I do without this amazing group of ladies and I just want to say...I will be around and then hopefully back in full force soon.  I'm benching DH and I until the first of the year because I a) need to break this pregnant in November, July, November, July schedule we have had the past two year and b) I don't want to ruin another holiday season and birthday for myself.

Lots of love, ladies! Now some cuddling lions because, seriously, all I want to do is cuddle:
image

"Once you are real, you can't become unreal again.  It lasts for always." ~ The Velveteen Rabbit

*8.3.13*  mc @ 6-7 weeks {natural mc at 12 weeks}
*3.14.14*  mc @ 5-6 weeks DnC {blood clotting disorder discovered}
*8.7.14* mc @ 6 weeks DnC {uterine septum removed March '14)
*3.17.15* mc @ 7 weeks DnC {genetic testing & meeting with a new RE in Jan '15}
*8.31.16* mc @ 8 weeks DnC {genetic testing, new medications upon next pregnancy}
*7.17.16* praying everyday for my rainbow baby {progesterone supplements, blood thinning injections}


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Re: The Rollercoaster is over and I'm back (loss mentioned)

  • rslh10rslh10 member
    Oh sweet lady, I am so sorry for the roller coaster! We're all here to cuddle the shit out of you, and be here to support you. I sending you big hugs, and lots of good vibes for tomorrow. Once again, I'm so so sorry.
    Report Reply
  • stinybeanstinybean member
    I'm sorry for your losses. Welcome back to the board. ((((HUGS))))
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  • mrsjg2013mrsjg2013 member
    I'm so very sorry for your loss and the roller coaster that you've found yourself on.  Big ((HUGS)).
    Report Reply
  • O2girlO2girl member
    Oh sweetie! I'm so so sorry. ((((Hugs))))
    Me: 38
    DX:  Adenomyosis, Compounded MTHFR, PAI-1 4G variant

    DH: 34
    MFI due to Testicular Cancer

    Married March 2012 <3
    IVF w/ICSI #1
    10 little polar bears
    FET #1 with 2 polar bears ~Nov 6, 2013 BFN :(
    FET # 2 with 2 more polar bears ~March 19, 2014 BFP!!!
    Beta 1= 276
    Beta 2= 662
    4/19/14 ~ baby A became an angel
    5/02/14 ~ baby B became an angel
    5/3/14 ~ D&C
    FET #3 with 1 male polar bear ~October 3, 2014
    October 13, 2014 ~ BFN
    Fur Children:  Memphis 3y, Dutch 3y, Marcel 2y, Meadow 1y



    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    January 2015 Siggy Challenge TTCAL
    Animals Interacting with Snow

    image


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  • tigerlynx31413tigerlynx31413 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss! Lots of cuddling hugs your way!

    BFP #1 7/6/2012, EDD 3/13/2013, Delivered 3/14/2013

    BFP #2 1/7/2014: EDD:9/14 MC: 1/9/2014 (confirmed via blood work)

    BFP #3 7/5/2014: EDD 3/11/2015 MC: 7/15/2014

    BFP #4 11/7/2014: EDD 7/17/2015~~Please be my RAINBOW!

    My Chart

    image image image

    All are Welcome!

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  • RachaeleighRachaeleigh member
    So sorry :(

    4 Losses (2003, 2008, Apr 2012, & Oct 2012)
    All RPL and IF testing with multiple REs = normal

    5 IUIs = BFN

    All AL are welcome
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

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  • rubysirubysi member
    Oh no I am so sorry.

    image
                ***TTCAL January siggy challenge ***
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  • ashleysheddashleyshedd member
    I'm a sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to recover and we are all here to support you when you need it. I'm sorry you find yourself back here.
    Report Reply
  • arschm02arschm02 member
    Oh I am so so sorry. :(
    "As soon as I saw you I knew an adventure was going to happen." ~Winnie the Pooh
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  • buggirl72buggirl72 member
    I am so sorry for your losses and that you find yourself back here ((((hugs)))).

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
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  • LundleBeanLundleBean member
    I'm so very sorry for what you have gone through and that you find yourself back here.
    Siggy Warning BFP/Loss Mentioned
    Me: 30, DH 30 Started TTC 7/2009
    9/2010 SA=Normal 9/10 HSG Dx Both tubes dilated; Rx bilateral salpingectomy & IVF; 9/2010-12/2012 Financial break
    1/2013 Bilateral Salpingectomy 5/2013 Recent SA shows borderline morphology
    5/2013 IVF w/ ICSI #1 6/25/13 ER=11R 9M 9F  6/28/13 3dt of 2 embies (8B & 6A-); no frosties: BFN
    10/2013 IVF w/ ICSI #2 11/12/13 ER= 9R 6M 6F  11/15/13 3dt of 2 embies (8A & 8A) 3 frosties (2 day-5, 1 day-6)
    11/22/13 (7dp3dt) +hpt  11/26/13 (11dp3dt) BFP Beta=141 11/28/13 Beta 2= 372 EDD 8/5/2014
    3/20/14 Fetal Demise 20 wks F/L 17 wks D&E attempted 3/21/14 & 3/22/14 Born Still 3/23/14  I love you B.T.
    "Sometimes you try your hardest, but things don't work out the way you want them to." –Nani (Lilo & Stitch)
    “All I can say is, it's a sort of kinship, as though there is a family tree of grief. On this branch, the lost children, on this the suicided parents, here the beloved mentally ill siblings. When something terrible happens, you discover all of the sudden that you have a new set of relatives, people with whom you can speak in the shorthand of cousins.” ― Elizabeth McCracken
    imageimageimage
    8/2014 FET 8/7/14 Transferred 1 5-day blast (4AA): BFN
    image
    TTCAL September Siggy Challenge:  Animals in Clothing

    Will add soon

    **All AL/AIF Welcome**
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  • sfazarsfazar member
    I am so sorry, my friend.  I completely understand needing to take a backseat but wanting to still be a part of the community.  Your new plan sounds solid. I hope that you are able to heal.  I have been thinking of you nonstop.

    Me (34); DH (35)

    BFP 11/25/13; Heard strong heartbeats for 3 weeks; Natural MC (1/15/14)

    BFP 11/11/14 EDD 07/21/15 hoping for our rainbow!

    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    I am so sorry you had to go through that roller coaster of emotions, then find yourself back here. Enormous ((hugs))
    Report Reply
  • skategirl128skategirl128 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss! Big hugs!
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • kittymeowbarkkittymeowbark member
    I'm so sorry you find yourself back here. Lots of hugs to you.
    Yelena + Rubere Married: 05/13/2011
    TTC since 2012
    BFP#1~  EDD: 06/21/2014  ~  TFMR --Holoprosencephaly 
    Said goodbye on 2/10/2014 at 21 weeks. We miss our baby girl "J"
    My Chart image
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    image
    imageimage
    imageimageimage      
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  • jennadesignsjennadesigns member
    I'm so sorry you find yourself back here again. I hope you find the comfort and support you need while you heal. I hope everything goes smoothly for you tomorrow. ((hugs))
    BFP 3/30/13, MMC and D&C 4/19/13
    BFP 4/8/14, MMC 5/5/14, D&C 5/9/14
    BFP 8/26/14 Due date 5/8/15

    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • mara005mara005 member
    I'm so, so sorry ((Hugs)) Honey!

    "Love is what makes pain bearable." - I love you my Angels. 
    **All After a Loss Welcome**
    BFP #1: 6/25/09 EDD 2/13/10 @ 6 weeks- Saw HB @ 9 weeks - DS born 2/11/10 (39w5d)
    BFP #2: 2/20/13 EDD 11/4/13 - Saw HB 3/19/13 (7w2d) - MMC discovered 4/13/13 (10w5d) - Est. loss @ 9w3d - D&C 4/14/13
    BFP #3: 12/19/13 (4 w1d) EDD 8/27/14 - 1/1/14 discovered it was ectopic/ tube had burst/ had surgery to remove tube (@ 6 weeks)
    BFP #4: 9/10/14 (3w6d) EDD 5/21/15 - natural MC 9/23/14 @ 5w5d
    BFP #5: 11/23/14 (3w3d) EDD 8/4/15 - Please be our Rainbow!     

    BabyFruit Ticker


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  • FrenchteachermamaFrenchteachermama member
    Oh my god Lia I am so so sorry. I had no idea you were going through this. It's not fair. Sending you all of my love, hugs, and healing. I'm here for you.



    imageimageimage
    image
    My FF Chart:
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/490dd7
    TTC #3 since June 2013
    BFP #1 7/21/2013--EDD 3/30/14--D&C 9/24/13
    BFP #2 1/28/14--MC 2/7/14
    IUI #1 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #2 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #3 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IVF #1, Stimmed for 12 days, ER 8/22/14, 9 retrieved, 7M, 7F!!  Freeze all due to fluid in uterus.
    FET end of October 2014 cancelled due to fluid in uterus due to possible c-scar defect
    Surgery scheduled 12/12/14 to fix possible isthmocele
    3/26/15 transferred one 8 cell grade 4 embryo and one 6 cell grade 3 embryo = slow rising betas for 2+ weeks = ectopic MTX shot 4/29/15
    Repeat c-scar surgery June 2015
    2nd and last IVF cycle August 2015, stimmed for 12 days, 2 egg retrieved, both mature and both fertilized.  Transferred both 8-cell embryos on Day 3, beta 9/5/15 = BFFN
    MOVING TO ADOPTION!  


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  • MyFirstRaspberryMyFirstRaspberry member
    I'm so very sorry to see you back again. Sending you extra ((hugs))

    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    TTC #1 since June 2012
    Current Status:  IVF with ICSI and PGS
    Genetic, RPL, SA and Fertility testing = Normal/Good        HSG = All Clear
    BFP #1 12.30.2012  ||  Blighted Ovum 02.05.2013  ||  D&C 02.11.2013
    BFP #2 09.10.2013  ||  c/p 09.12.2013
    BFP #3 12.1.2013  ||  mm/c  01.15.14  ||  D&C 01.21.14  chromosome abnormality
    May 2014:  Residual HCG and retained tissue found
    05.13.2014:  Hysteroscopy D&C to find and remove retained tissue
    June 2014:  Tissue sample results indicate a partial molar pregnancy
    May - Aug 2014:   TTA for monitoring and testing
    08.21.2014:  Hysteroscopy to remove minor scar tissue - the result of 3 D&Cs
    Sept/Oct: IUI #1  Femara + Bravelle + Ovidrel = BFN
    Oct/Nov: IUI #2  Femara + Ovidrel = BFN
    Nov/Dec: IUI #3  Femara + Bravelle + Ovidrel = BFN

    My Ovulation Chart  || *~*~All AL Welcome~*~* ||  DIY Blog

    imagehttp://i59.tinypic.com/v5ztqr.jpg  image

    image image 

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  • eliidaeliida member
    I am so sorry. ((hugs))
    Report Reply
  • Km380Km380 member
    I am so very sorry. Sending lots of hugs. We'll be here when you feel ready. I'm so sorry

    PgAL welcome


    Married 6/11/2011

    Me & Hubby: 34

    TTC journey started 12/2012

    BFP #1 6/5/2013, MC confirmed 6/26/2013 @ 7 wks

    BFP#2 8/25/2013 MC confirmed 10/16/2013 @ 12 wks (D&C 10/18)

    Diagnosis: unexplained RPL, unexplained IF.

    Also have hypothyroidism

    Started TTC again 12/2013

     

    IUI#1:Clomid CD 3-7, Trigger'ed CD 12. IUI CD 14. BFN

    IUI #2:Letrozole CD 3 - 7, Follistim CD 9, Trigger CD 10, IUI CD12. BFN

    Current plan: IVF with PGD. Antagonist - Vivelle Protocal. Stim start 12/1. ER 12/14.

    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/502498

    image imageimage

    image


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  • MrsG80inTNMrsG80inTN member
    I'm so sorry. Sending you so many hugs!

    Me 35 / DH 36
    TTC since 09/2009
    Hashimoto's diagnosis 11/2011 / Endometriosis removal surgery 04/2013
    Other diagnosis: 1 mutation - PAI-1 gene
    BFP#1 9/27/2013  /  EDD 6/4/14  /  MC 10/17/2013
    BFP#2 3/4/14  /  EDD 11/13/14  /  CP
    BFP#3 6/7/14  / EDD 2/16/15  /  CP
    BFP #4 11/7/2014 / EDD 7/17/15  /  CP
    Current  Plan: Waiting to change RE... Appt on 1/16
    RXs: Metformin, Levothyroxin, Baby Aspirin, CoQ10, Vitamin D, Folic Acid, Pre-natal. Progesterone post O.

    imageimage
    ***Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

    All Welcome


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  • tlc35tlc35 member
    I am so, so sorry you are back here and for the roller coaster you endured.
    Me: 37                                               
    DH: 45
    BFP #1 3/19/14  EDD 11/29/14 MMC D&C 4/24/14
    BFP #2  12/4/14 Beta #1 218 at 12dpo Beta #2 1055 at 16dpo
    Saw heartbeat 12/29.  Please be a rainbow.
    imagerainbows
              
    All welcome                                   
                              
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  • jjbmstincojjbmstinco member
    edited August 2014
    I am so sorry for your loss and that you fine yourself back here. ((hugs)).

    December 4                     image

    Married-1/2012
    TTC-8/2013   BFP-4/18/14  EDD: 12/29/12 MC-5/17/14 @ 7w4d
    BFP #2-11/13/14  EDD: 7/26/14  Beta #1: 11/14/13 (135 progesterone: 19.5)   Beta #2" 11/17/14 (733 ) 
    Hoping for good news!

    Everyone Welcome

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  • newfmom7newfmom7 member
    So so sorry for your losses. Welcome back.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    BFP#1 Oct/19/13, EDD June/27/14, MC began Dec/4/13 at 10w5d, sac measured 6w1d - blighted ovum, Misoprostol Dec/13/13 - nothing, bleeding, slow declining HCG, D&C Feb/6/14, HCG <1 Feb/18/14

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic

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  • meredithcarolemeredithcarole member
    I am so sorry the rough road you have been down. ((Hugs)).
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge: Animals in the Snow

    image

      
    About Me: 

    AMA 35 :  DH 33
    BFP#1 1/26/14 (EDD: 10/7/14).  MMC 3/10/14 D&C 3/14/14
    RE Consult 11/3/14 - AMH 2.25 "great" . FSH 7.10 . Low Vitamin D
    Myomectomy 12/17/14.  Benched until March.

    image

    My Ovulation Chart
    Report Reply
  • alm288alm288 member
    Oh no, I'm so sorry for your loss and that you are back here again :( take care of yourself! (((Hugs)))
    TTC: Since July 2013
    BFP #1: EDD 05/27/2014 (D&C 10/17/2014)
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  • littlecookielittlecookie member
    I'm so so sorry for your losses and that you find yourself back here. I'll be thinking of you as you recover.
                          January Siggy Challenge: You had one job
     
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  • uromysuromys member
    I'm so sorry for your losses. GL today. Wishing you fast healings and an enjoyable rest of the summer.

    DH & I are both 28    Together: 12 years    Married: 09/24/2011

    BFP#1: January '12 - DD1 09/16/2012

    Preterm labor 31 weeks. Monitored for Hellp and diagnosed with oligohydramnios July '12

    BFP #2: 06/25 - EDD 03/05/15 MMC confirmed 8/1 - D&E 8/4 retained tissue discovered 8/20

    BFP #3 11/24 - 12/15 Heartbeat detected - DD2 07/29/15

    Report Reply
  • BookishMommaBookishMomma member
    What an ordeal. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending cuddles....
    image
    image
    DX: I'm a Recurrent Loser
    Me (35) + DH (37) - Married Sept. 2007
    BFP #1 - DS born 7/11/11
    BFP#2 11/13/13 - EDD 7/29/14 - M/C at 5w3d
    BFP #3 12/28/13 - EDD 9/7/14 - M/C at 4w6d
    BFP#4 3/27/14 -  EDD 12/5/14 - Girl lost to 45X at 8w6d - D&C 
    BFP#5 10/15/14 - EDD 6/30/15 - M/C at 7w2d
    BFP #6 1/5/15 - EDD 9.16.14 [CLICKY for progress]
    In search of a image


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  • MrsPhD83MrsPhD83 member
    I am so very sorry for your losses, and especially for this emotional roller coaster you have been on recently. Welcome back to the board. ((hugs))
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Me: 31, DH: 30, Married July 2013
    TTC since March 2014
    BFP#1  5.17.14, EDD 1.26.15, MMC (measuring 6w3d at 8w3d), D&C 6.26.14
    BFP#2  9.19.14, EDD 5.29.15, AF on 9.23.14 CP
    BFP#3  12.17.14, EDD 8.25.15, AF on 12.21.14 CP#2

    Current plan: TTC while waiting for RPL results to come back
    Stalk my ute
    Report Reply
  • LilNugget19LilNugget19 member
    Sorry you had to go through that roller coaster experience. Take care of yourself. Hugs and cuddles!
    BFP #1 2/26/14 EDD 11/4/14 MMC 4/1/14 D&C 4/2/14
     BFP #2 5/24/14 EDD 2/3/15 MC 6/12/2014

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
    photo a800563d-1e24-4e2a-a95d-25f32948d9d6_zps0251bd32.jpgphoto 4521ffbe-b5f5-4727-a533-087ea3d85339_zps1d61286a.jpg
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  • shandorfml2shandorfml2 member
    Oh no, I am so sorry :(

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic   image image

        My Blog

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
      

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
    Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013

    BFP # 2 8/7/14 EDD 4/22/15
    Please be our rainbow!!

    **All AL Welcome**

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  • MrsKush1014MrsKush1014 member
    I'm so sorry you find yourself back here.  Take care of yourself.  {{HUGS}}

    image
    BFP: 3/9/2014  EDD: 11/11/2014  MMC: 4/10/2014  D&C: 4/11/2014
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  • Poppy715Poppy715 member
    There are just no words. I'm so so sorry. Take care of yourself.

          THE DARK SIDE IT IS

     and GBCB

    image    


    BFP 8/2/12 EDD 4/9/13 Addie was delivered 1/4/13 at 26 weeks due to Eclampsia  

    BFP 9/15/14 EDD 5/28/15 Please be our R A I N B O W take home baby BOY
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    imageimageimageimage
    ~All AL always welcome~

     

     


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  • ellebelle2384ellebelle2384 member
    So many hugs for you.  I think I will be on the bench with you for a while.  Huge hugs.
    Me: 31     DH: 33
    Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
    BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
    BFP#2: 5/3/11 - EDD 1/9/12 - DD Born 1/6/12
    image
    TTC #2 since 12/13
    BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
    BFP#4: MC 5/6/14 at 4w4d - EDD 1/9/15
    BFP#5: MMC discovered 8/4/14 at 9w1d - D&C 8/5/14 - Baby Boy with Trisomy 16 (maternal origin) - EDD 3/8/15
    BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
    IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
    IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
    PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
    FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
    Natural FET 11/4/15 = BFP!
    Beta 9dp5dt = 92

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  • graceanne927graceanne927 member
    Oh my goodness...my heart breaks for you and what you have endured this month.  I'm so very sorry.  (((hugs)))
    image
    My Ovulation Chart

    BFP #1  6/14/2011 EDD 2/22/2012  DD 2/2/2012
    BFP #2 1/19/2014 EDD 9/27/2014 CP 1/24/2014






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  • LaRomana09LaRomana09 member
    I'm so very sorry.  (((((HUGS)))))

    image
    image
    My Ovulation Chart
    TTC since March 2012 
    BFP #1 1/29/13, EDD 10/9/13 
    MMC discovered at 10 weeks (baby measured 9 weeks) D&C on 3/16/13 
    BFP #2  CP on 3/31/14
    BFP #3  8/11/14  EDD 4/22/14
    Report Reply
  • bunnybun4bunnybun4 member
    I am so, so sorry for another loss.  and esp. sorry for you having to be on that rollercoaster.  big ((hugs))

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)

    -5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)

    11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13

    8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF

    IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties

    12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!!  One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15

    Everyone Welcome.

    Report Reply
  • TVLilyTVLily member
    Sending you so many (((hugs))). I'm so sorry you had to go through so many ups and downs.

    EDD 5/2/14, NMC 9/11/13
    EDD 10/15/14, CP 2/8/14
    IF Diagnosis: PCOS, MFI 

    Current Cycle: 5 mg Femara/1000mg Metformin + TI = BFP, EDD 4/23/15 Please be our RAINBOW

    image

    **ALL AL/IF Welcome**
    My Chart

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