Intro & Are Men Ever Ready?

Re: Intro & Are Men Ever Ready?

• jennypolkadots member

  August 2014

  Men are just as different from each other as women are We are all ready for different milestones at different times, and some people are just never ready for change until it hits them.

  
  

  By the time we started ttc my husband was practically begging for a baby. He is 27, I am 25. He has been ready for years and is very very excited about the whole thing. For Christmas he got me some preggo guides and baby name books, and since we got the BFP he has been reading tons about childbirth and been so supportive. 

  
  

  The way your DH feels is perpetuated by society, unfortunately. That's why men aren't invited to most baby showers and there are phrases like "ball and chain" directed at women. Listen to his concerns and it may just be that he is telling you he is ready, but just nervous. 

  
  

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• Unknown

  August 2014

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• leela02 member

  August 2014 edited August 2014

  DH was ready as soon as we were married. That mindset is very common in his religion (Catholic) though.

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• TRP85 member

  August 2014

  I agree with @jennypolkadots, men are as different as women. My best friend's husband couldn't wait to have a LO and it took some time to convince her. Personally, I have been ready longer then my DH and even though he is now ready he moments of anxiety about the unknown. I think this is totally natural and probably some of what your DH is experiencing.
  

  Married: 08/04/2012
  TTC #1: 07/2014
  

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• babywatermelon member

  August 2014

  My DH let me know when he was ready - Ive been ready since our wedding day (9-10-11) but he had reservations (mainly financially) and so I respected that and agreed to wait. He finally told me he was ready in Feb so we pulled the goalie but never actually 'tried' just kinda had fun with it. But now we're ready to try and this is our first cycle!

  Give him some time, I'm sure he will come around!

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• kayteebayb member

  August 2014

  Like PPs said, everyone is different. My husband was the first one ready both when we conceived our daughter and now that we are TFAS. I was the one that needed to come around.

   
  

  
  

  

  
  

  

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• NoleGirl9 member

  August 2014

  Thank you for all your feedback! DH says he is enjoying our time just the two of us. We have made a list of a few more spots we want to travel pre-baby (hence the 1 yr out timeline). I think what he is not saying is, he's scared of the unknown, how our relationship/lives are going to change. I was born with zero patience... But I want us both to be excited about this next step... So we wait.

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• Jags8 member

  August 2014

  All men are not the same. My DH was ready years before I was. I was the one who needed more time to process it all. I really wanted to enjoy time just as the two of us. Just give him time, and don't bring it up too often (every few months at the most).

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• sandrabrooke member

  August 2014

  I think guys can be really confusing.  My husband says he wants to be a dad, and looks forward to it, but then he gets nervous if I talk about it a lot.

  
  

  We arent TTC yet, but still good to have that conversation so I don't set my expectations too high.  

  
  

  I'd rather him be ready and involved than be miserable as a parent since I have no support.  

  

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• joshandjulie08 member

  August 2014

  my husband was ready about 2 years after I had my son lol through out my pregnancy and every month after he said he cant wait till he could walk and talk.... lol he loves that my boy is 5 and girl is 2.5 lol I think men like the actual playing time with the little ones more than the feeding, diapers and crying lol

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• YogaSandy member

  August 2014

  DH was ready for a baby YEARS before I was. Our only LO is nine months old. We have been married for 10 years, together for 12+, and were ttc for 2 months. The only reason we waited was me.

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• LucilleAustero member

  August 2014

  leela02 said:

  DH was ready as soon as we were married. That mindset is very common in his religion (Catholic) though.

  
  Guess my husband missed the Catholic memo.

  OP: I don't know about ready. I don't think anyone, male or female, is ever ready to have a child. Desirous of having a child? Sure. Organized and committed? Sure. But, ready? You can't be ready until you have the child because there is no way of knowing what kind of baby you are going to get.

  Certainly, I think that things become much more real to women much more quickly than they do men. It is the 'mom show' until the baby gets here and men only really get to experience the periphery during pregnancy. Women get all the experience.

   

  

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• CallMeShoes member

  August 2014

  I think it's sort of foolish to make gender based stereotypes, such as "Men are never x", "Women are always y."
  
  Men are just as diverse as women, and as such, they have a diverse set of ideologies.
  

  Love. 9.28.2007.  Marriage.  8.4.2012.
  

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• NoleGirl9 member

  August 2014

  @dani_brewer I agree, being ready for a baby vs nervous about one are different
  @LucilleAustero
  I agree that you are never 100% ready for the changes a baby brings. I have stopped using the word "ready" because DH gives me the same argument above. Instead I say do you want to have a family/baby

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