Little Lupins is here! (LeaLupins birth story)

[Deleted User] · August 2014

Short version: Baby boy arrived Wednesday morning about 30 minutes after arriving at the hospital. He looks like an adorable little old man and has so far been a dream baby, except for the fact that he can't seem to keep his poop contained inside his diaper at all. But I'll take it.

Long version: I went in for my 40-week appt on Tuesday morning (4 days past due). I had my first internal and was told my cervix was still far back and I was "maybe 1/2 a centimeter" dilated. Totally discouraging when you're overdue! We did an NST and fluid check and the nurse scheduled my induction for Tuesday, 8/5. I had friends checking in periodically and one told me to eat hot wings and drink raspberry tea because she did that and was in labor within a few hours. Figuring I had nothing to lose by partaking in some other OWTs since it wasn't likely LO was going to be arriving anytime soon I made wings for dinner and had a cup of tea. Around 11 p.m. contractions started and were about 10 minutes apart. They continued like this throughout the night - painful but nothing I couldn't still talk through so I just went out on the couch and watched "Angels in the Outfield" on TV. I also had to poop, a lot, which I figured was a good sign that my system was clearing itself out even though it was annoying. Around 4:30 or so the contractions started getting closer together. I spoke to the on-call doctor at 5:30 when they were 5 minutes apart and lasting about a minute each. I was feeling pressure and being GBS+ he told me I should head over. I had to wait for my parents to come down to stay with DS1, though, which was about the longest hour of my life because by the time they arrived the contractions were closer and I could no longer talk through them. DH and I got in the car as soon as my parents pulled in the driveway (with towels on my seat since my water hadn't broken yet) and I began feeling more and more pressure which started to freak me out a bit. We got to the hospital and headed up to triage in L&D. I was feeling miserable and could barely walk but still figured I had a ways to go. All along whenever anyone asked about a birth plan, my only response was "Getting an epidural ASAP!" The nurse asked what I wanted to do for pain and I told her I wanted everything she had. Then the doctor came and checked me and I was 8 cm. I knew then my very simple "get an epidural" birth plan was out the window. They moved me across the hall into a delivery room, got the IV in quickly so they could start the antibiotics, and had me signing consent forms in between contractions. Soon I started feeling like I really needed to poop which I knew meant I was close to pushing. They prepped the room quickly and called the doctor. He came in to break my water since it hadn't ruptured on its own yet and said "Yep, the head's right here." I pushed for about 10 minutes and he was born! Despite being totally unprepared to deliver without meds, I made it a point to take in every moment of his delivery because I remember very little from DS1's delivery from being in such a fog and to this day I still get sad thinking about that. We did skin-to-skin while the placenta was delivered and I got stitched up (another 2nd degree tear). The nurse told me the doctor that delivered me was the best at stitching so I felt good knowing my lady parts were in skilled hands.

I have to say I don't know if it's just because I knew what to expect this time or because it's actually better, but recovery has been a lot easier this time so far. I'm still trying to make sure not to overdo it which is harder with a 3-year-old at home but overall I feel better and my swelling and bleeding hasn't been as severe as last time. Little guy is doing really well with nursing but I have to work on his latch a bit before my nipples become ground beef. DS1 absolutely adores his little brother and wants to love on him all the time. I've been an emotional mess, however, looking at DS1 and how big he seems now and feeling guilty for him not being my only baby anymore even though he has so far not been anything but completely smitten with the baby. I know it will all be worth it when the baby is old enough to play and interact with him more and they can have fun together but right now I would say my mommy guilt is in high gear which has been tough. I can't really seem to even think about it without crying and I'm hoping once these hormones regulate a bit I'll chill out a little!

I just wanted to say thank you again for all of the support and encouragement on TTCAL and over the last 9 months here. My rainbow baby was born 4 days after the anniversary of my loss and I'm so grateful to have had you all to turn to with all my doubts and fears getting to this point. *HUGS*