Newborn twins - tips from other MoMs

TRS48 · July 2014

I am exhausted & overwhelmed by this new life with newborn twins! Of course I love them to death but wow I had no clue just how crazy things would be with two little newborns... The lack of sleep is the hardest. Followed by guilt that I can't nurse (takes sooooooo long) and can't pump enough so I have to supplement with formula. Also I hate that I don't have enough time in the day to pump as much as I should (& I do have help but it's just non stop around here!). Finally I am stressing how I will handle this when my help leaves... I was alone with them for a few hours the house day and of course both wanted to eat at the same time and besides the screaming/crying while I tried to juggle feeding both at once, it took FOREVER. I fear I will literally have zero time for anything when I am alone and my housework & dogs will be totally neglected. Please send tips & advice my way on how you juggled and made it work!

KatieGummow · July 2014

Mine are only 16weeks but those morning smiles... So worth everything. I try to think about it all day and get excited about it at night. The three of us spend like 10 minutes together every morning talking about our dreams and goals for the day and just smile and giggle at each other.

Wishing35 · July 2014

I think everyone feels like that in the beginning. It is hard and I remember many times crying right along with them. I felt guilty about not breastfeeding for a while as well, but also relieved. I think a turning point for me was when I got the hang of feeding them both at once. I used a twin z pillow at night one up both up. During the day I had two boppies and would put one on my lap and one bedside me on the couch.
When my DH went back to work I was extremely nervous and anxious to be left alone with them. Nothing really helped but just diving in and getting used to it. There was a lot of crying and feeling overwhelmed, but I just the help when I could get it and pushed through. Right around 3 or 4 months it started getting easier. Now mine are 11 months and while we go through phases of fussiness and nap fighting I have learned to take it all in stride. You will learn too, it takes time but don't beat yourself up about not being perfect. They will cry, you will cry in the end you will all be ok. I try to remind myself of two things my mom said "crying never killed anyone" and "your raising kids not a house" so don't worry about keeping the house perfect just focus on making it through one day at a time.

carrotcake06 · July 2014

The beginning is soooo hard. It really is. The best advice I ever received is to listen to everyone's advice and then do what works for you and your family.

In the beginning, it's all about survival. You will not be able to everything to everyone. The house will be messy and babies will cry. It's okay.

When you say you can't nurse bc it takes so long, it is normal for a baby to nurse for 45min, sometimes as long as an hour. Time between feeds is counted from the beginning of one feed to the beginning of the next, so it's normal to only have a break of an hour or so in between. That was one of the driving motivators for me to tandem, but I know not everyone likes it. It does get better and they do get quicker. And if BFing isn't your thing, that's okay too.

Along w tandem feeding, we did OUBU at night. Since nursing can take so long, it was the only way to get sleep in the beginning. H would change and bring them to me, sleep while I nursed, and then I woke him up to help me put them back.

I also wore the fussier baby a lot (it was always the same baby - he had reflux and screamed for the first 2 months of his life). The other one chilled in a bouncer.

You can do it by yourself during the day. You'll find routines that work for you. The first time you try something, it may not go well. That's okay bc you'll learn from it and do better the next time.

tlf830 · July 2014

You will survive! I remember the beginning, I cried every day. Something that helped me was to get out of the house every day with them. Take a walk, go to the mall, just get out! Feeding them at the same time helped too, both during the day, and in the middle of the night. I formula fed from the get go because I decided the babies needed a sane mom more than they needed breast milk!

My twins are now 3.5 months old, and looking back, I realize, it is easier. Yes, I'm still exhausted (and back at work now) but, the smiles make it worth it :-) Just accept that your house is going to be a mess, you may look like a mess, you may be cranky but, it will pass! That first night when they sleep 5 hours straight is the best thing ever!

auntjessy · July 2014

Yes, the beginning is VERY hard. Feeding takes forever, and finding time to get my production up was impossible. After I finally gave up on BFing and pumping, life got easier. I did BF for almost the first 3 months and I'm glad I did. I really enjoyed the bonding experience and I do miss that, but I just wasn't producing enough, especially since they start out on bottles and with supplemental formula in the NICU.

Tips: Yes, if possible, feed them both at night. If you have to supplement with formula anyway, feed them the formula at night and save the BM you pump for daytime - it'll buy you extra sleep as they'll wake up less often for feeds. Then, you can also bottle-feed them at the same time at night, propped up on Boppys. During the day, I try to feed them separately even now with bottles and make sure they each get enough cuddles and mom time. Yes, it's hard, but they're only little once.

I second the babywearing if you're up to it. Mine didn't always like it, I learned to put them in their swings swaddled to put them to sleep when they got fussy. Believe it or not, right now is easier than it will be in a few weeks. Right now, they sleep a lot more, so you should be able to get more sleep (albeit in short blocks of time). For us, the period between 6 weeks and 3 months was the worst. Now that I'm almost 4 months in, it seems completely manageable. Of course, I just go with the flow and try not to be on any sort of schedule where I have to be somewhere at a particular time.

But it's completely fun and doable. When they were little squishies, I took them to the mall and just walked around a lot. They slept really well in their car seat/stroller, and getting out did me a lot of good mentally. Hang in there!!!

TRS48 · July 2014

Thanks all. What kind of baby wearers do you use? I have an ergo with an infant insert but they are still too small for it. I would love to wear one and switch them out so they each get individual attention and I can get things done.

JAck5209 · July 2014

First, keep your head up, it gets better! In the beginning you do anything that you can to survive. Don't be afraid to ask others for help, people love to help out with babies and it gives you a moment to think about something else. We found that getting the kids on a schedule was an absolute life saver. I used their cues to tell me when they needed naps and started putting them down together in their room at the same times every day. After a while they started to nap easily. That gave me some free time. Long feeds were such a struggle but keep at it because it gets better. My girls are 6 months and it takes 10 minutes to nurse one baby and 10 minutes to bottle feed the other and I can do it simultaneously. It's great! I know it's hard but try not to feel guilty about formula feeding. I had some postpartum anxiety after my first which lead me to quit breast feeding and I was wracked with guilt over it. In the end my daughter is absolutely perfect and I'm completely over that feeling. I did what I needed to do and we both thrived. PS. I have a K'Tan and it's great with the little babies. Good luck!

zazu13 · August 2014

Besides the necessary housework like cleaning bottles and washing clothes to wear, don't worry about keeping up with the house. Eat off of paper plates. When they are tiny, everything takes SOooo long. Feeding both was a 2 hour process for me when I did it alone (nursing, pumping, bottle feeding..) I finally gave up nursing at 6 weeks and that helped a lot. I did feel very sad about it, but the time it was taking was not worth giving up precious sleep and I was still having to supplement 50% or more anway. When you have helpers, try to get a nap in. I had help every single day sometimes only for a few hours. I would let them clean, take care of my dog, hold the babies while I showered and napped. The best help I had was a neighbor who came at night from 10pm - 1 or 2am. DH and I would go to sleep as soon as she came. She would take care of the babies and get them in bed. I hated giving up the bedtime duties, but it was my sanity as that was sometimes the only sleep I got. Looking back I don't know how I survived. Hang in there. It is so hard, but the feedings will start getting faster and they will start sleeping longer and you will realize you can do it.

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Newborn twins - tips from other MoMs

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