Hormonal Explosion - I still need to vent.

ColeyCannoli · August 2014

I flat out lost it today ladies. Oh my, I couldn't help myself and I'm still shaking.

I was at a local mom group. Most of these women are SAHM and many are attachment parents. I won't be either of those but I totally support people doing what they think is best for their families and I do like many of their ideas. Now, I'm a med student and I don't feel like I have the clout yet to fight them on a lot of things that I disagree with. Like how one woman demands that tea tree oil mixed with coconut oil will cure just about everything. Most likely they aren't doing any harm to their kids by making them all oily, so whatever. I have had to leave when routine vaccines are brought up but I never fought because this isn't my world yet - I'm not yet a mom or a doctor so I'm patient.

But I hit my breaking point today. One of the mothers comes in in tears because the NIH is creating a vaccine for Ebola. EBOLA. And she's convinced that Big Pharma is gonna push it in the USA and she's just so tired of fighting and blah blah. I am a non-confrontational person but I flipped out. The Ebola outbreak has killed over 700 people in three countries! It is spreading rapidly and out of control! She was demanding that clean water and air would be better than an evil vaccine. I told her that clean air and water are great but it won't stop this outbreak or save the lives of people near it right now. It has also killed healthy aids workers who from far cleaner areas to start with. Then over half the group came to her defense saying "but think of the poor lab monkeys" and "they are just doing this for the money" and "you are just a product of Big Pharma so what do you know about a better holistic approach." Really? What essential oils are going to cure a hemorrhagic fever?

I probably went too far when I started to accuse them of spitting on the graves of the amazing doctors and nurses who have died trying to treat the disease. The hatred for the medical community among these women was just too damn much for me and I stormed out like I never have in my life.

Guh, I need some happy cat pictures and a glass of grape juice I can pretend is wine. And hopeful a new pregnancy/parenting group. **ragerageragerage*

Thank you for reading :P

agsgrrl · August 2014

Here ya go! Wish I could send you the wine!

JaymeeLH · August 2014

Oh my. I would find a new group ASAP. If it's any consolation I just laughed loud enough at my desk that I just had to explain to my boss why I thought your comment about essential oils curing hemorrhagic fever was funny, he agreed people are dumb

[Deleted User] · August 2014

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chicorojo · August 2014

I think you are awesome. I wouldve found a new mommy group anyway, I can't do anti-vaxxers. But, I do hope you feel better

mlee116 · August 2014

Wow, they really sound like they can't hear logic over the crunchiness of their ideas. This kind of crap is what scares me about the Ebola virus. It has a 60% fatality rate (according to the last article I saw, which was from God knows where so don't quote me on that), so I think that's um, kinda freaking worthy of a vaccine.

I can't hang out with people like this at all, so kudos to you for hanging out with them as long as you did. I'd probably play if safe and find a new group, personally. I wouldn't want my kid around people who think Ebola can be cured with essential oils and fresh air or whatever.

CandEChicago · August 2014

Let me start with the cat pictures:

BdblZ · August 2014

I can't stand the anti-vaxxers either. It makes me want to vaccinate my kid twice just to spite them. While I can be fairly crunchy & granola-esque in many aspects, I have a firm trust and belief in medical science

Good for you for holding it together - I would have lost it on all of them. And ditto on trying to find a new moms group with moms that are on more of the same page with you.

allonsyalonso · August 2014

I'm pro finding a new moms group. That's some craziness right there. I would have joined your crusade, for what it's worth.

CandEChicago · August 2014

Cat had your wine... sorry.

ColeyCannoli · August 2014

pooky08 said:

That wasn't a hormonal explosion. I'm usually a calm person who doesn't express a lot of outward emotions, but even I would have gone bat shit crazy on them over this issue even if I wasn't pregnant! "Think of the poor monkeys?" Think of the poor people who have died and will continue to die, including your precious oil-covered offspring. Ugh. Full disclosure - I'm a chemist who works in the environmental field. Because of what I know, I try to limit my exposure to chemicals, but FFS my kid is getting vaccines as soon as the doctors will stick the needle in it.

Right? I have no issues with them wanting to avoid bleach or other such things. I want to do the baby wearing, cloth diapering, baby-led weaning and all that crunchie stuff as I can manage it. But this was too much. It was the selfishness that just broke me. They made the deaths of hundreds of people and the possibility of a cure all about them. I know a lot of SAHMs that are not like this but I feel like these women have let their worlds collapse around their homes. It's all about them and what they don't want to do. Pretty sure no one in Sierra Leone is worried about getting autism right now.

agsgrrl · August 2014

This is why I will be avoiding mommy groups of strangers.... I'll stick to a pile of friends who just wanna catch a break to drink wine together and let the kids pull each other's hair

CandEChicago · August 2014

I can definately see why you are shaking and in rage... probably best to find a new mommy group you wouldn't want the LO around their non-vaccinated kids anyway.

mcr957 · August 2014

Here's a cat pic for you. And yes, new group asap.

Daneicy80 · August 2014

Here's a cat picture for you...

And I echo all the PP, find a new group... one that is more in line with your values/morals/ethics/whatnot. Ebola is f-ing scary... those two people they are flying back to the US is scary, though hopefully they are treated and taken care of and it won't spread here.

bjenny · August 2014

Totally agree with you! Pregnant or not, they needed a healthy dose of scientific fact!

Crystal7perry · August 2014

I can't believe you held your tongue that long. I would have given them a huge piece of my mind a long time ago. I like the cat gif of you can't cute stupid...

LinziLoo09 · August 2014

You've clearly got more patience than I do. DH already has to babysit me at prenatal groups with other pregnant ladies because I bring journal articles to argue with them about their baseless baby fears. Crunchy is fine, but idiocy is intolerable. I vote new group!

ginger514 · August 2014

My blood is boiling for you, here's a much happier face for you

abcmom12 · August 2014

What holistic cure do they suggest for HIV? hmm? Idiots.

ColeyCannoli · August 2014

I love all of your forever. Thank you for existing.

I was brought into the group by a good friend who actually hasn't been there since I started going (been on vacation for like 3 months). I enjoyed learning about breastfeeding and all that stuff and I was promised that the super controversial stuff (mostly vaccines) would be kept to a minimum. Lies...

I am going to find the family group at my school. Classes are starting up again so there should be other newbies there.

mlee116 · August 2014

abcmom12 said:

What holistic cure do they suggest for HIV? hmm? Idiots.

Come on, you know you can just rub some tea oil on it and it will go away! Besides, if you cloth diaper, BF and make your own organic baby food, your kid won't get it.

I kid, I kid.

MaineMama · August 2014

Wow, just wow.

When I was working in the lab at our local hospital, I had a ward clerk call down wondering how to enter an order for an Ebola blood test. I questioned her, and she INSISTED the doc had written ebola but would have him call us.

While I waited for the doc to call (and the CDC to tent us off) I broke allllll the rules, called my sister in NH, my mother who was watching my kids, and my H and had the kids bags packed and my H was going to drive them to NH to stay with my sister if it really was Ebola. I was panicked!

Yeah, the doc called back. He had written EBV titer. Yeah, that's Epstine Barr virus. Totes not Ebola. Glad to know that if it does come here I can just rub my kids down with expensive perfume and save the gas money.

ColeyCannoli · August 2014

MaineMama said:

Wow, just wow.
When I was working in the lab at our local hospital, I had a ward clerk call down wondering how to enter an order for an Ebola blood test. I questioned her, and she INSISTED the doc had written ebola but would have him call us.
While I waited for the doc to call (and the CDC to tent us off) I broke allllll the rules, called my sister in NH, my mother who was watching my kids, and my H and had the kids bags packed and my H was going to drive them to NH to stay with my sister if it really was Ebola. I was panicked!
Yeah, the doc called back. He had written EBV titer. Yeah, that's Epstine Barr virus. Totes not Ebola. Glad to know that if it does come here I can just rub my kids down with expensive perfume and save the gas money.

Oh wow, yeeeah, Mono and Ebola are pretty different. 8-| I would've done the same thing you did and probably found some hazmat suits just in case. Ebola is so freaking terrifying. I want to join Doctors Without Borders one day but holy balls would I have to do some serious soul searching to get involved with an outbreak like that (especially with a child at home).

JunkieBrewster · August 2014

I just want to say, that we Absolutely do practice AP, and even I don't hang out with other attachment parents.

JunkieBrewster · August 2014

Wtf duplicate

JunkieBrewster · August 2014

Triplicate post

myalibi · August 2014

I'm a "creepy lurker," but had to voice my support for you! One can still be moderately "crunchy" and still listen to the logic of science. I have worked in medical research full time and as a consultant for 14 years and the fact that animals are used and euthanized is difficult, but absolutely necessary. When I see products that I worked on saving human lives, the animal sacrifice is completely worth it. My experience with a natural mommies group was also uncomfortable. They were fine with me until they found out about my work history. Then I was basically blacklisted. At that point I wasn't upset at by this and I hope you aren't either (aside from their complete lack of knowledge and compassion). I wish that I could be in a mommy group with you!

StrawberryDog · August 2014

I don't think you over reacted, that would have made me mad too. I would be in a mommy group with you if that's any consolation.

irish2014 · August 2014

Not overreaction at all. OMG. How about HUMAN reaction?!? Ebola is terrifying. I can't imagine how the aid workers and their families are feeling right now, wanting to help but it's SO dangerous.

Anti-vaxxers are probably getting by on herd immunity, but at some point it's going to bite them in the butt when they get some disease that should have been eradicated by now. Caveat: not a medical professional, I have nothing to cite.

JaneArson · August 2014

irish2014 said:

Not overreaction at all. OMG. How about HUMAN reaction?!? Ebola is terrifying. I can't imagine how the aid workers and their families are feeling right now, wanting to help but it's SO dangerous. Anti-vaxxers are probably getting by on herd immunity, but at some point it's going to bite them in the butt when they get some disease that should have been eradicated by now. Caveat: not a medical professional, I have nothing to cite.

I feel like your common sense is enough of a citation

ColeyCannoli · August 2014

mathymckenna said:

irish2014 said:

Not overreaction at all. OMG. How about HUMAN reaction?!? Ebola is terrifying. I can't imagine how the aid workers and their families are feeling right now, wanting to help but it's SO dangerous. Anti-vaxxers are probably getting by on herd immunity, but at some point it's going to bite them in the butt when they get some disease that should have been eradicated by now. Caveat: not a medical professional, I have nothing to cite.

I feel like your common sense is enough of a citation

Agreed!

agsgrrl · August 2014

I feel like I need to add that it sounds like they need a reality check....maybe being dropped right in the middle of it to help with just their oils will do the trick?

leoandethansmom · August 2014

I'm glad you spoke your voice to the mob of idiots. I'd totally be in your mommy group, I actually enjoy knowledge that comes from learning and not reading yahoo headlines.

nkaldahl · August 2014

Um... Has anyone told them tea tree oil causes breasts in males....
And I'm all for vaccinations. But I don't want my baby to be the guinea pig for them!

sarasarat · August 2014

Eh.. I'm about as worried about Ebola as I am swine flu, bird flu, and every other "ZOMG WE'RE ALL ABOUT TO DIE" pandemics/epidemics/freaky shit we hear we're about to be subjected to. But I don't know if it's worth it to fight with people about stuff they believe.

ColeyCannoli · August 2014

sarasarat said:

Eh.. I'm about as worried about Ebola as I am swine flu, bird flu, and every other "ZOMG WE'RE ALL ABOUT TO DIE" pandemics/epidemics/freaky shit we hear we're about to be subjected to. But I don't know if it's worth it to fight with people about stuff they believe.

It is very unlikely to kill people in the USA but it is killing others in horrible numbers... That was part of what made me so upset. This vaccine isn't for Americans, it is for the African people who are dying and the heath care workers who are trying to save them. Worrying about themselves in this instance is just selfish bullshit.

And really? Sometimes you have to fight so someone else can hear. If they are never challenged, it will never stop. Sorry this pandemic isn't close enough to home for you to care but I fucking do.

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