Scared...

KruPatel · July 2014

Hi mommies. This is my third pregnancy and third baby. I'm almost 19 weeks and I randomly started having bad thoughts about loosing this baby.

I have had a easy going pregnancy and half the time I don't even remember that I am pregnant with two kids and very busy life. So I tend to forget or trying to be super woman thinking I'm okay and can do anything. I even end up going without eating if I'm too busy doing something or feeding the other babies. I take rest and by the end of the day I'm exhausted.

And now more and more I read about other loosing baby or finding out they miscarried or baby doesn't have heartbeat I get so scared. I'm sure some of you may feel this way. I feel baby moving now and I know it's not suppose to be so much yet so I forget when the last time I felt it move or felt flutters. It's crazy that finally this week I am actually feeling pregnant and finding my self having hard time to keep myself going constantly or catching breath or break in between things. Until now it was no breaks no relaxing or doing anything for myself.

Help. How do I get this fear out of me. Should I be worried? I have my ob visit on the 5th which will give us the heart beat again. The ultrasound was scheduled for 11th but I just pushed it back to 20th. How do I keep my patience till then.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

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CandEChicago · July 2014

KruPatel said:

Hi mommies. This is my third pregnancy and third baby. I'm almost 19 weeks and I randomly started having bad thoughts about loosing this baby. I have had a easy going pregnancy and half the time I don't even remember that I am pregnant with two kids and very busy life. So I tend to forget or trying to be super woman thinking I'm okay and can do anything. I even end up going without eating if I'm too busy doing something or feeding the other babies. I take rest and by the end of the day I'm exhausted. And now more and more I read about other loosing baby or finding out they miscarried or baby doesn't have heartbeat I get so scared. I'm sure some of you may feel this way. I feel baby moving now and I know it's not suppose to be so much yet so I forget when the last time I felt it move or felt flutters. It's crazy that finally this week I am actually feeling pregnant and finding my self having hard time to keep myself going constantly or catching breath or break in between things. Until now it was no breaks no relaxing or doing anything for myself. Help. How do I get this fear out of me. Should I be worried? I have my ob visit on the 5th which will give us the heart beat again. The ultrasound was scheduled for 11th but I just pushed it back to 20th. How do I keep my patience till then.

If you are worried about loosing your baby or the sudden changes in how you are feeling I would anticipate that you would call your OB and get in to see them sooner versus pushing back your appointments. Or at least... that is what I would do.

abenson3 · July 2014

I understand you worries, but the fact of the matter is carrying a life is precious, fragile, and sometimes, sadly fleeting. Right now, I recommend that if you cannot handle the realities that not all babies make it into our arms, take a break from the board. Otherwise, right now lend words of support for those on this board right now who are in desperate need of extra care.

katiescarlett1 · July 2014

I hear you...we've all been there. Nothing you can do except take care of yourself and see your Dr. if you notice anything unusual. It should pass..

VyD81 · July 2014

If you have concerns, I suggest you call your OB and get in the office to see your LO. As @twolittledogs said, we are all on edge right now and just need to support our fellow bumpies.

Losing a baby is not contagious and unfortunately losses occurred to our fellow D14 mommas (hugs ladies, if you are reading this post). I've been through a 3rd tri loss and the fear is always there for me, I just need to stay positive and know that I love the little girl growing inside of me and take care of myself.

DoctorWorm222 · July 2014

Hearing about losses makes us all worry more. That's normal and its ok to discuss, even today. I'm sorry that you're scared, OP. We're all scared too.

Mrw218 · July 2014

The other harsh reality is that we are all scared too and there is nothing we can do or say to make you not scared. I would say get off the boards for a while and stay busy in ur current life. Move the doc appt up if that concerned and if you are having panic attacks or anxiety that won't go away, dread feelings, or ur feeling miserable and can't cope then you need to see a therapist. They will talk with you, teach you coping methods, give advice, all without meds. Those r ur options.

KruPatel · July 2014

I really apologize if this post has hurt anyone's feelings and I deeply am sorry for all the moms who have recently lost their babies. Maybe this post was a wrong timing but it was just a thought that wouldn't leave my mind. I actually talked to my husband about my fear before I posted this but felt like he couldn't understand this fear since he's not the one carrying it and made me thing if I share my fear with you guys I may feel better knowing how you all feel as well.

Again sorry for posting at a wrong time and it's not just because I have been reading about others losses that I have this fear in me.i know god had his own plans for everyone. Not knowing what he has in plans for us is the biggest fear or challenge. I thank god everyday for getting me through another day and I pray that we all can turn our hopes into reality.

CandEChicago · July 2014

KruPatel said:

I really apologize if this post has hurt anyone's feelings and I deeply am sorry for all the moms who have recently lost their babies. Maybe this post was a wrong timing but it was just a thought that wouldn't leave my mind. I actually talked to my husband about my fear before I posted this but felt like he couldn't understand this fear since he's not the one carrying it and made me thing if I share my fear with you guys I may feel better knowing how you all feel as well. Again sorry for posting at a wrong time and it's not just because I have been reading about others losses that I have this fear in me.i know god had his own plans for everyone. Not knowing what he has in plans for us is the biggest fear or challenge. I thank god everyday for getting me through another day and I pray that we all can turn our hopes into reality.

Thanks for the apology. I think the timing was just at a wrong time. However, I encourage you if you are having these concerns that you should get into see your OB sooner (versus pushing off the appointments until later) and as PP's mentioned maybe talking with a therapist. It might be good to have some medical professionals to talk to as well.

mlee116 · July 2014

I don't know, maybe it was poor timing, but I think OP is just stating what a lot of us are feeling.

Fear and worry are totally normal, especially right now. I think @twolittledogs stated it perfectly above when she said anything can happen at anytime. As the OP probably knows already, even when your child is already here, that worry never really goes away. I just try to remember that I can not control what happens. All I can do is take good of myself and let my OB know of any concerns.

KruPatel · August 2014

Thank you all.

Today was a whole new day for me and I felt a lot better from the morning. I think that fear comes into mind when I am so overwhelmed and exhausted and at the end of the night I feel guilty for not taking care of myself and this new baby that is in the belly. I guess last night was one of those and scared me.

I do have a regular visit next Tuesday which will check for heartbeat. My 20 week ultra sound was scheduled for 11 but I pushed it back to the 20th so that my 4 year old son can come see the baby as this may be the last ultrasound as long as I'm healthy. He is super excited about the baby and think he will understand better now than when he saw my daughter in the belly.

ColeyCannoli · August 2014

To be honest these loses do scare me but they also make me so grateful to be pregnant right now. I realized a long time ago after losing my father suddenly that terrible things can just happen. They happen to good people and to bad people. You can't predict it and you can't force the world to be just. But you'll waste the good you have and the good you can do for others if you focus on the "maybes." All you can do in life is deal with the changes - good and bad - as they come and be happy for what you do have.

Logically, I'm sure you know this but others feeling pain doesn't have anything to do with you. Their loses don't up your chances of loss or decrease them. Be grateful for how lucky you are right now to have two healthy children and a third on the way.

If you can't handle it (understandable) get off the forum for a few days and recharge. I think I might have to do it myself... it's been a hard week around here.

mrsshour · August 2014

I'm so sorry you are having those fears and worries. I have them myself and DH just doesn't understand. I don't think the timing was bad at all personally. Yes, some have dealt with losses lately and that is awful and tragic and I pray for each and everyone of them. But that doesn't mean you can't share.
Glad to hear you are feeling a little better. I will be praying for peace for you!

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