Kinda WMR: how do you make friends with other parents?

shakinros · July 2014

Remember that NYT article about how hard it is to make friends as we get older? https://mobile.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-of-making-friends-as-an-adult.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

Boy am I feeling it today. We moved cross country 6mos ago. We have a small social circle here of one couple we know from way back (he was H's best man in our wedding, so very good friends) and a few people we've met through them. Well we had a fight with this couple yesterday. It'll pass - it wasn't THAT big a fight - but I'm realizing that during the cooling off period, I have no other local friends!

How do you make friends these days?

[Deleted User] · July 2014

Now that DS is older and starting to attend DC kiddos' birthday parties- through school. Also neighbors and work. We both train at a gym and met our closest friends there.

kristinc01 · July 2014

I've started initiating more play dates with other moms at work. I felt we were just okay friends at work but realized they are looking for socialization too so a quick Saturday morning at the park or Sunday afternoon at the pool for a meet up has been getting me out of the house.

mae0111 · July 2014

I struggle with this as well. It seems like if DD1 is drawn to a kid, I'm not really interested in being friends with them. If I feel like I hit it off with a mom, DD1 doesn't care about their kids. DD2 is kind of a good-time kid, and loves anyone that looks at her... so not an issue there, yet.

Just the other day, DD1 was playing with a couple of really nice, cute kids - sisters. I tried to engage their mom. She could not have been less interested in speaking to me. She just wanted to play on her phone. It was too bad.

I'm friends with some moms at work, but we're a bit scattered around the area. I live an hour plus from some of my work friends.

It's hard.

jlaOK · July 2014

I'm horrible at this. My core group of friends are all people who I met in college.

I know as DS starts elementary and we move into our permanent house I will need to be more social and make friends with the parent's of my kid's friends but I tend to be socially awkward and will REALLY need to work on this.

MickeyM04 · July 2014

I was just asking DH about this. We are some of the first of our friends to have kids. We literally have three other friends with kids, and the closest lives 45 minutes away from us. We enrolled DS in a summer sports class that just ended, and I had been thinking we would meet some friends in the class, but then on the last day it was just sort of "wah wah." Everyone was like, "Nice meeting you, see you around!" and we were too chicken shit to be like, "Well, wait, should we exchange numbers or something and set up a play date?" So that was an epic fail. I have no idea how to meet people. I mean I guess I know how to meet them but not how to follow through?

shakinros · July 2014

Park thing seems like a great idea.

DC hasn't worked out yet because all the parents are rushing in the morning and DD is always the last one picked up in the afternoon. Maybe when they're old enough for birthday parties I'll meet the other parents!

I'd like to meet our new neighbors, who seem to have a toddler DD's age. Maybe when we get settled into our house this weekend I'll get brave and go over to say hello.

IrishTraveler · July 2014

I am SUCH an introvert. I have no idea where to even start when it comes to new friends. It isn't as though I'm not invited to things. There's even a group of moms at work who get together once a month to chat about kids, life, and work. But convincing myself to approach them to do something outside of work is a whole other ball game.

groovygrl · July 2014

I have moved twice to places where we knew no one, it is really hard to meet ppl. I have realized that I really have to just suck it up & ask ppl for their contact info, that is pretty much how I've made friends here...the park idea is an easy one, or even if you're talking about something like some restaurant or thing to do or something, say, hey let me get that info, I can text it to you if you want and see if they bite... I am in a book group and enjoy that but dont hang out w/ the ppl in it socially mostly b/c we all live kind of far apart. In my last city, I actually got together w/ 2 ppl I knew and we decided to create a book group, we each invited 1-2 other ppl we knew and made our group. It worked out great and I got to know some new women, etc.
Hobbies are a good way but sadly I don't have a hobby. Walking clubs, running clubs, etc- stuff that kind of forces you to talk to ppl while you do it.

Leap08 · July 2014

I am friendly with some other DC moms. These are the moms I've seen at school for years and now see at birthday parties. We've done exactly 2 play dates, so I wouldn't exactly say we've become great friends. We've kind of become friends with two families through the girls swimming lessons. It's not like we've hung out with them a lot or anything, but they are people I would meet up with for a play date or ask over for dinner. We've gone to parties at their houses. I think it's just kind of hard when you have little kids. Most of our friends we knew before any of us had kids.

GroverClover · July 2014

I've struggle with this for a couple of years. My husband doesn't understand it at all. I've tried mommy and me classes, trips to the park, girls night with ladies from church, joined the aquatic center. My son and I have had ALOT of fun and tried many new things, but I haven't made any friends. He plays with other kids and I chat with their moms, but we haven't "connected" with anyone. We've had one play date in 2 years (oddly enough it was with a child from DC who withdrew when his mom quit her job). Most of the working moms I've met don't seem to have extra time or express a desire to make new friends. SAHM (no offense) are strange; the ones I've met seem hesitant to associate with a working mom...I really don't understand it. As one of the earlier posts stated, "it's like dating all over again" and that sums it up to me. Good luck!

sugarbear0524 · July 2014

I help with a working moms Bible study at my church, and I've met my closest friends that way. I've also met a couple of people through my son's school.

fitmom82 · July 2014

amy052006 said:

GroverClover said:

I've struggle with this for a couple of years. My husband doesn't understand it at all. I've tried mommy and me classes, trips to the park, girls night with ladies from church, joined the aquatic center. My son and I have had ALOT of fun and tried many new things, but I haven't made any friends. He plays with other kids and I chat with their moms, but we haven't "connected" with anyone. We've had one play date in 2 years (oddly enough it was with a child from DC who withdrew when his mom quit her job). Most of the working moms I've met don't seem to have extra time or express a desire to make new friends. SAHM (no offense) are strange; the ones I've met seem hesitant to associate with a working mom...I really don't understand it. As one of the earlier posts stated, "it's like dating all over again" and that sums it up to me. Good luck!

I am shocked you have issues making friends.

I wouldn't call SAHMs strange, but I understand what she's saying. I'm a teacher and home in the summer so I understand the 2 lifestyles. During the summer I have a pretty busy social life. I see my other teacher friends during the day and there are lots of other moms around, but we usually go home for lunch or nap so by 2 our socializing is usually over. During the school year I might do a park at 3, but I'm still home by 5. I'd feel like a burden expecting a SAHM to do a playdate with me because it would have to be so late, when she'd probably rather be home getting dinner ready or relaxing a bit after her busy day, that's what I'm doing after 3 in the summer.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

Wow. This got odd.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

I get what @Amy052006 is saying though. Even if I hit it off with you at the park, chances are it would end there. I am not that motivated to really follow through and fan the friend flames.

Frankly, I barely have time to maintain my current friendships right now. I definitely don't have time to make new. If it happens, it happens. But I am not really recruiting, kwim? I think a lot of parents, regardless of how they spend 9a-5p, fall into this category.

That sounds harsh but it's just where a lot of parents are at during these years.

chicagobride_07 · July 2014

Like some of the other posters, I'm really focused on my work, daughter, and current friends (who I barely have time for) right now. I'm totally OK with it if I don't have a group of "mom friends". I just don't fell the need.

emberlee3 · July 2014

@PrivacyWanted, there is an organization called MOMS that runs a lot of moms groups. The official policy is that evenings and weekends are family time, so they are not supposed to have events on evenings or weekends.

I have lots of friends that I had before having kids, and I put most of my effort into those relationships. I also get a lot of support and enjoyment from my friendships with colleagues, even though we rarely socialize outside of work. I am friendly with daycare moms, and I plan to stay in touch with the moms of DS's besties now that he is off to kindie. I do want to meet some friends in our neighborhood, and I hope to connect with other moms from his kindergarten class. Also, I am planning to join a church this year, so we will make friends there.

Kinda WMR: how do you make friends with other parents?

Re: Kinda WMR: how do you make friends with other parents?

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