February 2014 Moms

SAHM Check-in 7/29

Good morning ladies!

What were your successes this week?

What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?

What helped save your sanity?

Topic for the week:  Do you have feel like you have to justify your decision to stay home to people?  How do you handle this?

GTKY:  What are some of you favorite summer memories as a kid?  Are there any summer traditions you are looking forward to starting with LO?

Feel free to bring up any other thoughts, feelings, or concerns you are having.  

 


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Re: SAHM Check-in 7/29

  • What were your successes this week?   Not feeling too positive this week, so nothing to report.  Everyone has gotten dressed and feed everyday? 

    What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?   Our sweet little kitty passed this weekend.  

    Emotional word vomit, feel free to skip over: Loosing her so soon after the dog has been especially hard.  I was prepared to say goodbye to him, but her death was a shock.  Loosing a healthy pet to freak chance just never seems fair (FWP, I know).  I keep wondering what I could have done to have prevented her from being outside at that exact second.  I could have tried to make her an indoor cat, but then she would have been miserable.   I really needed like a half day to lay in bed and have a pity party, but have been unable to do that because obviously LO needs care.  I found myself really resenting him for this first time this weekend. I'm doing better on that aspect of things now.  But I'm still really struggling with the death of the cat.  

    What helped save your sanity?  I got some really sweet texts.  Also I finally cut my hair short again.  I feel more like myself now. 

    Topic for the week:  Do you have feel like you have to justify your decision to stay home to people?  How do you handle this?   I do often feel like people expect some kind of reason why I'm staying home.  Maybe it's just because they know me and know I loved my job.  But I think it's more.  I used to really feel the need to explain my choice.  I think I'm doing this less and less.  I usually quickly say something about stress vs. money.  Then I talk about how much I loved teaching and miss it and if they paid teachers more, maybe I'd have been more willing to face the stress that comes with working with a baby.  Then, since most people don't want to get me started on my tirades about the treatment of teachers, they let it go. 

    GTKY:  What are some of you favorite summer memories as a kid?  Are there any summer traditions you are looking forward to starting with LO?  One of my favorite memories was playing baseball in the street until dark.  Also, our annual trips to Cape Cod.  We had lots of favorite places to go each year.  My parents bought a house off the Cape about 10 years ago.  I'd really like to share the traditions I grew up with, but they are all like 45 mins away from their house.  Maybe when he gets bigger we'll do "tradition day" and drive to the area we used to stay and we'll do everything all at once.  

    Feel free to bring up any other thoughts, feelings, or concerns you are having.  

     


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  • JackieP1023JackieP1023 member
    edited July 2014

    ETA:  Sorry for your loss, @Meghan14. Losing a pet is always tough, regardless of the circumstances.


    What were your successes this week? My biggest success was a great baptism weekend (and reception afterwards)! LO has started to 'laugh'... it sounds like a fake cough sort of. It is pretty hilarious. She just started it this weekend, and she does it ALL the time! She is starting to sit mostly unassisted, which is pretty amazing in itself.

    What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week? Biggest challenge was yesterday after all of our houseguests went home. I had baby girl all to myself again. Not that I'm complaining, but after a weekend of being held 24/7, she did NOT want to be put down.

    What helped save your sanity? The awesomeness that is my family. My sister, brother + girlfriend, and aunt were staying with us this weekend. My uncle + his family showed up as a surprise. They all helped me get things done for the baptism, and we were able to spend a decent amount of time just visiting on Sunday afternoon. I just wish the weather would have been a tad bit cooler-we could have enjoyed the outdoors (where we have much more space!)

    Topic for the week:  Do you have feel like you have to justify your decision to stay home to people?  How do you handle this? I'm not 100% SAH, so I haven't had to deal with this at all. I can see how people would feel the need to justify the decision, but ultimately, it is your family's decision to make--it should be nobody else's business!!

    GTKY:  What are some of you favorite summer memories as a kid?  Are there any summer traditions you are looking forward to starting with LO? I don't have a lot of 'traditions' from when I was a kid-I grew up on a dairy farm, and we would always be haying during the summer. We rarely took vacations because there were always things that needed attention at home. One thing I do remember is going up to my grandpa's cabin in northern WI. It was just on a small lake, and it was a small house, but such a treat to go there! The actual cabin is no longer in the family-my grandpa sold it a few years ago when he and my step-grandma purchased their winter property in Arizona. MIL/FIL own a small property at a lake about an hour from us, and I hope we can go there several weekends during the summer with LO.

    Feel free to bring up any other thoughts, feelings, or concerns you are having.


    dx PCOS 2007

    BFP #1 (natural) 12/23/2010. Stillbirth due to IC 4/2/2011

    TTC #2 starting 03/2012

    RE starting 07/2012

    05/2013 BFP on a Letrozole (Femara)/trigger!

    Cerclage, Procardia, Makena, GD (with insulin), MBR, and we made it!  


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    Our Angel was born sleeping at 20 weeks due to IC.

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  • Good morning!

    My biggest success this week- Hmmm...I really don't know.

    Biggest challenge this week- DH being OOT again. I'm just so damn lonely. I don't know many people here and my best friend just had a baby so she's home with her family. DH said he would have 2-3 trips this summer and this is his 9th. I'm over it.

    Sanity- One of my friends and her son from NC are coming to visit next week!!

    Topic- I don't need to justify it here (northern Utah) because SAHMs are very, very common. I do feel like I need to with friends and family back home, though.

    GTKY: I was a very serious dancer (ballet and lyrical) so I spent my summers in the studio and at dance camps. I loved it and miss it every day!
    Started TTC Summer 2008~ Started with RE Summer 2009~ October 2010 IUI-positive HPT & beta, c/p~ Natural pregnancy March 2013, m/c at 7 weeks, Trisomy 16~ Natural pregnancy June 2013 Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Checking in -- a day late! Thanks, @Meghan14, for doing this again!

    What were your successes this week? Getting us all ready to go in separate directions -- DH went camping for a few days and LO went to NC, plus I had to have meals, etc. for DH when he was home without me (flame away...it's way easier this way).  

    What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week? It's really hit me how tied to LO I am. I had to go to a couple of last-minute appointments because of a serious eye infection, and trying to figure out how to manage that with LO was hard. It also struck me that I'm pretty much the only one who makes arrangements for LO when we need someone else to watch him. I feel like that's an added layer of pressure and work for me when I need to go somewhere solo -- or if the only solution is that DH comes home from work, I feel guilty that he has to do that (even though it's a non-issue).

    What helped save your sanity? Spending some time with my sister and her husband! It was so great to see them and to see them with LO. They haven't seen him since he was 6 weeks, so there's been a pretty dramatic change! My sis made the comment before our visit that she couldn't wait to snuggle him -- and I was like by snuggle, you mean play with? My little guy isn't as snuggly as he once was!

    Topic for the week:  Do you have feel like you have to justify your decision to stay home to people?  How do you handle this? Sometimes. Actually, I felt more like I had to justify working part-time and putting LO in daycare two days a week (especially explaining this to MIL who thinks she can just watch LO, even though she's never so much as considered a diaper change, etc.). Having been on both sides of this scenario -- both justifying SAH and working, I'm coming to the conclusion that it's just one more area where we as moms are judged and have to defend the choices we make for our families. There was a short period of time when I considered staying at home rather than working PT because my school was closing so my employment was literally gone, and even my pedi questioned what I'd be doing after the school closed. When I said SAH, he kind of gave me a weird look. Not that it's any of his business?

    GTKY:  What are some of you favorite summer memories as a kid?  Are there any summer traditions you are looking forward to starting with LO? We always went on a vacation every summer -- usually camping somewhere. We also went to our county fair and a corn festival in my grandparents' town. But it's some really little thing that I think of the most -- we used to meet my dad for lunch at a park near his work, and sometimes we got to go to the grocery store beforehand to make lunch from the salad bar. Sometimes we would pick my dad up from work and go for a picnic dinner at a local state park. I'd like to continue these things with LO -- seemingly spontaneous, casual, fun family outings. We'll also continue doing vacations. DH never went anywhere when he was a kid, and he feels it's important to do things like vacations as a family and to not put off the things we want to do. 

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  • What were your successes this week? We had a few days of hardly any spit up as we were trying out a new additive for formula (Gelmix). It was really nice to not go through mass amounts of bibs and burp cloths for a few days.  

    What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week? I met with my counselor for what I thought was going to be my last time. But some things came up and it was hard for me to realize that I was still pushing down some feelings that I had. We're in a big transitory period right now with moving in 2 weeks so it's hard to really put a lot of this stuff we talk about in therapy into action. 

    What helped save your sanity? DH....nothing big but I'm just so grateful he's always willing to step in when he gets home while I try and make some pathetic excuse for dinner. And he never complains how often we do easy stuff. He's a keeper...thankfully those post pardum hormones faded and I was able to remember and see again what a great guy I married. 

    Topic for the week:  Do you have feel like you have to justify your decision to stay home to people?  How do you handle this? For me, working is too hectic and I can't find a job that would pay more than just enough to cover daycare anyways. I believe being a stay at home mom is a great thing, and will be a benefit to my son as he grows. I may eventually return to work when he is in school or a fun part time job in a year or so, but never full time again. So, no. Thankfully where I live, stay at home mom is pretty normal. It's the working moms that I feel like have to justify why they "abandon" their kids for money. 

    GTKY:  What are some of you favorite summer memories as a kid?  Are there any summer traditions you are looking forward to starting with LO? We spent every summer walking to my grandma's house (a mile away) and would swim until our lips turned blue and our fingers were all pruney. After we'd raid her antique candy bowl for Werthers. I still love those to this day. 

  • @Madelyn0713 Just saying hi from Utah County :) 
  • @rexgirl06‌ Hi! Forgive me, I can't remember if I knew you were in Utah...? Or maybe I did. Did you go to school here?
    Started TTC Summer 2008~ Started with RE Summer 2009~ October 2010 IUI-positive HPT & beta, c/p~ Natural pregnancy March 2013, m/c at 7 weeks, Trisomy 16~ Natural pregnancy June 2013 Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Thanks again for all the support girls.  I'm sorry yesterday I just wasn't up to giving your responses the attention they needed.  Doing much better today, so here I go.

    @MadisonPenny : Have naps returned to normal or is LO still catching up from the trip?

    @anji1820 : Glad LO is doing so well and super happy for you about the job.  

    @carleys :  I am glad your friend and family have been supportive of you decision to stay home.  

    @JoyBaby5 :  Sorry about DH freaking about finaces. ((HUGS))) I've been thinking this needs to be a Topic of the Week soon (unless people think it's too personal?)  Painting is relaxing?  Want to come do my living room?

    @JackieP1023 : I'm excited to hear about LO laughing and that the weekend went well.  The cabin sounds like wonderful memories and I hope ILs place will help you make new ones.

    @Madelyn713 : I am sorry you are feeling lonely.  I hope you can make new friends soon.  

    @jessasuarus2008 :  Welcome to our check-in!   I am sorry you are struggling with feeling alone.  That was one of the major reasons we started the check-in so I hope you find support here.  I hope DH steps up and helps out soon.  Yes, getting out of the house is key!  Good luck finishing up your degree- that's fantastic!

    @armfruit :  Sorry DH has to be away so much and that getting together with friends didn't work out.  I find I can push LO's schedule by 45mins or so.  More than that and no social outing is worth it.   As another teacher with a master's, working to pay someone else's salary would be exactly how I'd feel going back to work

    @Shellbell3845 :  A 20 year old me might have flamed, a 30+ year old me has learned every relationship divides household responsibilities differently.  I wish DH would prepare my meals when he travels.  When he's not around to cook for me I eat a lot of cheese based meals: grilled cheese, mac & cheese, quesadillas.... mmmmm now I want cheese.
    More seriously than my love of cheese, how is your eye?  I'm sorry you are stressing about arranging ways to make it to appointments. 
    It seems like the trip went well :)  

    @rexgirl06 :  ((HUGS)) as you go through counseling and hormones.  I am glad DH is supportive. And now I want Werthers after my cheese.  

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  • BB0214BB0214 member
    What were your successes this week?

    Finding more outings with LO. I had been getting bored with just taking her for walks. But now that she can sit on her own, is close to crawling, and doesn't require as many naps, we can do more things like go to the park, or the children's museum. She loves her swim lessons too.

    What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?
    I'm getting pretty discouraged with my business. And that's leading me to feel less motivated. It's also really getting on my nerves that all I heard from MIL is how I don't involve her enough with LO. Over the last month every time I invite her over or ask her to watch LO she cancels.

    What helped save your sanity?
    Having my mom back in town. She's so good with Maya. And she's really reassuring to me.

    Topic for the week: Do you have feel like you have to justify your decision to stay home to people? How do you handle this?
    I haven't really run in to this. But I do think that I'm having to justify why my business is so slow. It's not that I'm not out there trying to market myself. It's taking longer than I expected to build. It makes me feel like such a loser when I have to explain that.

    GTKY: What are some of you favorite summer memories as a kid? Are there any summer traditions you are looking forward to starting with LO?
    Trips to the mountains, hiking, camping, fishing with the grandparents. I'm also looking forward to starting a summer bucket list when she's old enough.
  • @Madelyn0713 Yes, I graduated from BYU and my husband and I live here now. I grew up in Southern CA so it was a bit of an adjustment, but we like it here. I don't think I've seen anyone before on here that sounded like they were located in Utah either so no worries. :) I'm not super active on the board here to have noticed. 
  • @rexgirl06‌ Awesome! I know at one point there was someone else here who lived in Utah and went to USU. DH has been to BYU a few times for games but I didn't make it there this spring. We moved here (for his job) from Alabama so definitely quite an adjustment for us as well. We've been here for a year now. You'll have to let me know if you ever make it up to northern Utah :)
    Started TTC Summer 2008~ Started with RE Summer 2009~ October 2010 IUI-positive HPT & beta, c/p~ Natural pregnancy March 2013, m/c at 7 weeks, Trisomy 16~ Natural pregnancy June 2013 Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • IblissIbliss member
    @rexgirl06‌ I'm in Utah county as well. I can't believe I missed that.

    @Meghan14‌ so sorry to hear about your pets. I hope you get feeling better.

    Successes?
    We had family staying with us and went out of town for a few days w/o LO. I was worried how it all would come together. But it worked out great. My house stayed clean. We had a great weekend get away. And now all the family is gone and I get to relax.

    Struggles?
    Missing LO while we were gone. Also Saturday DH leaves for a week and I am alone with LO. I am used to that but I have to pack for a 10 day road trip that includes camping and I'm nervous about driving by myself. DH is meeting us half way through the road trip. It will be fun but full of challenges.

    Sanity?
    Taking one day at a time helps. We have had a crazy busy summer and more to come (see above). If I think too far ahead I get overwhelmed. So I focus on today and tomorrow.

    Justify SAH?
    I did when I quit my job. They wanted 2 months noticed and I just didn't feel like I could give that. I felt like I had to explain over and over again why I was quitting. But living in UT, the norm is staying at home so people just expect it.

    Summer traditions:
    Definitely family vacations. Also we do a big family reunion every 2 years. DH family has been doing Disneyland every 2 years and I am excited for LO to enjoy the tradition.
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