June 2013 Moms

How to ask your ILs for stuff

Ok, I have very generous ILs. I know they would have no issue with getting us a play house or climbing structure but I have no idea about how to ask.

The manners in me says you don't ask, you wait until it's offered, but they never offer.

They always ask what we want for Christmas but I don't know how to say "this super expensive thing" without sounding like a jackass

What say ye?

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                                                              #Bodymber14 #Bodygate #itsMillerTime

 

                                                                   Bradley 05-04-11 & Tyler 06-18-13

Re: How to ask your ILs for stuff

  • Bleachy14 said:
    Could you offer to split it with them to be polite, but with hopes that maybe they'll just say they'd buy the whole thing? We have done splitsies like with my ILs... if there is something bigger we want, DH's parents chip in what the can and want to, and then we pay the difference.
    That's exactly what I want to do. Do you bring the offer to them or did they bring it to you and you offered to split?
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                                                                  #Bodymber14 #Bodygate #itsMillerTime

     

                                                                       Bradley 05-04-11 & Tyler 06-18-13
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  • awesome guys! Thanks. I struggle so much with asking for help but gosh darn we just don't need anymore random toys!!
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                                                                  #Bodymber14 #Bodygate #itsMillerTime

     

                                                                       Bradley 05-04-11 & Tyler 06-18-13
  • My ILs are super generous too. Usually if I say "we were thinking of getting xxx for DD, but it's pretty expensive. I'm watching for a sale" mil chimes in and says "Oh, we'll get that for her". We have a little back and forth as I argue that it's too expensive. She shuts me down and says, no, we're buying it. And that's the end of it. Lol.
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  • Omg!! Not to hijack Was's thread, but @andreamarie77‌ I just noticed our LOs have the same name, first and middle! But my Madeline is with an -ine
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  • I don't think I could every hint, let alone ask for such a big expensive gift. :-<
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  • My ILs (and my own parents for that matter) would probably do the same. My mom honestly tried to buy Madeline a $250 gorgeous wooden play table for her play room for her 1st birthday. I'm like, ok mom,it's beautiful, but you do know that the play table in there will get coloured on and painted on and scratched, etc. I had to beg her to buy the $20 Ikea table so I don't feel so guilty when my kids vandalize it over the next couple years.
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  • The million random toys is what I struggle with too! I know MIL puts a lot of money and time into doing stockings full of stuff and a bunch of trinkets for the boys and it drives me batty.  I have not figured out a way to politely have this discussion but it has been getting a bit better in terms of gifting us (the adults) with noticing we could use or appreciate the money invested in something else for our house and I'm hoping by Xmas she'll want to do the same for the boys. My parents give DH and I a big fat check for Xmas and put equal amounts into each grandkid's 529 account and then get everyone one token fun item and it is so much easier for both them and us. It sounds like your MIL is open to splitting it which is awesome.

    I'm obviously having some IL problems today. Sorry!

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  • Both sets of grandparents would spend too much money on stuff we can't use or don't want, so I've learned to at least give them some guidance before they run out and buy anything for the kids.

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  • @subliminalrabbit I have an amazon wish list for DD but how do you add things from other websites? I had no idea that was possible.
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