Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
mak7788
member
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I am angry today
mak7788
member
If that's the stage of grief I had to choose today, anger would be it. I'm angry at:
The NP who was incredibly insensitive and laughed when I asked her if she thought my bleeding was normal and then asked me why I was crying when she told me my betas were 11. I feel like she could've done more but I think that's partially me trying to place blame on something
I'm mad at my best friend who told me "that's unfortunate but oh well now is not the time you just need to be patient.
Mad at mother friend who went out of her way to tell me she was sorry for my loss, and then proceeded to complain about her morning sickness and how excited she was that she felt the baby kick
And that brings me to being mad that we made the classic mistake of telling too many people we were expecting.
I'm also really really sad today. Like way more sad than I expected. I thought each day might get easier. But now I feel like I'm back to square one. Im sitting at my desk completely checked out until my next meeting. I also made an unnecessary snarky comment on the TTGP board that I feel bad about beside of my bad mood.
I'm also upset that even though I so badly want to be pregnant, if it happens this month I don't know if I can handle it.
I'm so sorry I had to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading if you made it all the way through.
The NP who was incredibly insensitive and laughed when I asked her if she thought my bleeding was normal and then asked me why I was crying when she told me my betas were 11. I feel like she could've done more but I think that's partially me trying to place blame on something
I'm mad at my best friend who told me "that's unfortunate but oh well now is not the time you just need to be patient.
Mad at mother friend who went out of her way to tell me she was sorry for my loss, and then proceeded to complain about her morning sickness and how excited she was that she felt the baby kick
And that brings me to being mad that we made the classic mistake of telling too many people we were expecting.
I'm also really really sad today. Like way more sad than I expected. I thought each day might get easier. But now I feel like I'm back to square one. Im sitting at my desk completely checked out until my next meeting. I also made an unnecessary snarky comment on the TTGP board that I feel bad about beside of my bad mood.
I'm also upset that even though I so badly want to be pregnant, if it happens this month I don't know if I can handle it.
I'm so sorry I had to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading if you made it all the way through.
Married 7/21/12
Off bcp and ttc 9/1/13
bfp 7/20/14, m/c 7/23
will ttc again 8/14
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Re: I am angry today
You're going to have good days and bad days- just because you're having a bad one doesn't mean tomorrow won't be better. I am sorry today isn't a good one.
I can totally feel you on the anger- I was very very angry the first couple of weeks after this loss...it has lessened over time, but there are still days when I find it coming back a bit. I can also feel you on the rude medical staff- one of the many reasons I didn't go to the dr for this loss.
The only suggestion I have is to be kind to yourself today- find a song you like to listen to, watch a movie you love, find something you like to eat and indulge, etc...and like pp said, allow yourself to be mad (or any other feeling you find yourself dealing with).
BFP #1 12/02/11, M/C 12/08/11
BFP #2 04/06/12, DD born 12/20/12
BFP #3 06/09/14, M/C 06/15/14
Married 7/21/12
Off bcp and ttc 9/1/13
bfp 7/20/14, m/c 7/23
will ttc again 8/14