STM- are you feeling guilty?

jeannej86 · July 2014

I'm down in the dumps. Like all of you I'm tired, I'm uncomfortable, and over it. This pregnancy has kicked my butt, and I dread going into work every morning. The worst part is I have no energy or patience for my 2 year old daughter at the end of the day. I feel like I'm missing out on any remaining time we have together before the new baby.

Did this get better? Is it easier to provide attention after baby or am I getting a glimpse of how guilty I'll feel when the second arrives?

Oh God.... I can't imagine how terrible I'll feel when I go back to work

tamarar5 · July 2014

Sometimes I feel like this but it's more fleeting. E seems to sense when I'm feeling like this and he gets extra cuddly and will come up and give kisses.

My older one seems to be having harder time this time around, though. I think she's feeling a bit overwhelmed. For almost 5 years it was just her and me. Then DH moved in. We had E. DH and I got married. We're expecting baby 3. I think she's just feeling a bit lost in the shuffle.

blgills · July 2014

I have been feeling super guilty lately. My daughter is just 22 months old and still very much our baby. She's still not talking very much, and her whining/crying from communication frustration (I think) has gotten me into such bad moods while I'm home with her. I feel so bad for always losing my temper with her and yelling or getting short with her. The hormones.. the aches.. my lack of patience.. ugh

shevaCC · July 2014

Yup, very guilty about not having the energy to do fun things with DD plus soon not being able to put her needs first all the time. She's been so sweet and cuddly, helping me as much as a 2-year-old can. I feel really bad about rocking her world when we bring baby brother home.

lookame3639 · July 2014

I feel guilty when when we go to do stuff with DS and i have to leave early because I've done to much and caused contractions. He gets a little more excited though because he feels like his sister is coming and he's excited for his sister to be here. I'm worried about how he'll feel when she's here and i have to focal a little more on her.

violajack · July 2014

Oh yes, the guilt. I had a membrane sweep at my appointment today and it hit me that it could happen tonight. I made a point of getting down on the ground and pushing cars back and forth with DS as long as he wanted tonight. I already feel bad when I can't play with him like he'd like me to, and I get sad thinking about how much he'll have to play on his own when I'm nursing all the time. I'm definitely going to miss being able to have so many moments of just us. I know we'll still get some time just the two of us, but it will be so much more limited. And the new baby won't get nearly as much momma only time as DS has already had. I'm so dreading having to tear myself in two trying to juggle both of their needs.

Skouz · July 2014

OMG I'm crying just reading this. I'm so glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. My son is 2.5 and I've stressed on this so much. He's so smart for his age and has known 'sissy' is in my tummy for as long as I started to show. I think it really hit us all when we switched rooms this weekend and set up her crib and changing table with his room. I feel bad because he's curious as to what all this new stuff is and we have to say it's for her. Luckily my BIL's gf has a son a month younger than my son and is a SAHM so she'll be sleeping over so our kids can have a play date while we're at the hospital. He hasn't stayed with anyone overnight since he was 9mo. So I'm stressing even though I know he'll be fine. We took him to Build a Bear and he started losing it right at check out so he thinks we didn't buy it. DD will give it to him at the hospital when he visits just before we discharge so we all leave as a family. The only thing I can do now is channel my frustration elsewhere when he's getting on my nerves. I have to stop and remind myself that the clock is quickly ticking down on it just being him and we need to savor it.

jeannej86 · July 2014

I just keep trying to tell myself that I'm about to give her the greatest gift ever. I love my sister's and know that she'll need family other hand her dad and I. That is helping but I have a feeling that the hormones/baby blues after this one will be so much worse.

BeachM · July 2014

Ugh, yes. DS1 has been spending a ton of time at my parents' house since we've been home and I feel so guilty. I know he's having more fun over there and they can play with more actively than I can. I'm hoping once I'm released to drive on Monday and the iron pills continue to kick in I'll feel a bit more back to normal.

ungraceful13 · July 2014

I'm struggling. I have been having contractions for a week. I'm uncomfortable and often in pain and have no energy. I try to give DD as much as I can while I am home with her (SAHM in the summers) but I count down to DH being home and taking over.

audreylaine510 · July 2014

So glad to hear from others in the same boat! My DD is 22 months and has been so sweet and cuddley lately. I hope she doesn't hate me for bringing home a new baby :-(

MandMLeona · July 2014

I felt that way with number 2. I felt guilty that I was too tired to be patient with DD1. I felt guilty that I wasn't giving my second pregnancy any attention and didn't feel as connected as I did the first time.

My midwives kept telling me that while it's true that you can't give baby number 2 as much time, energy, and attention, the children will now have a whole other person (their sibling) that is also putting those things toward them. I didn't believe it at first, but as DD2 has gotten old enough to interact it really is true.

This pregnancy I still feel guilty about my short temper, but I don't have the guilt about the rest of it. A sibling is a very special gift.

bkcgraham · July 2014

I freak out about this daily. DS is 6 and a total mamma's boy. Add in moving and changing schools and we are having a bit of an attitude problem lately. I feel so bad because I know he is not getting the attention he needs with everything going on and he's getting away with way too much. THis is gonna rock his world even more and all I think is that I did all of this too him:(

kamedio · July 2014

I'm so glad I'm not the only one has been feeling like this. My DS is 2.5 and "gets" what is going aka that a new baby is coming soon. But I worry what is going to happen when his new sister gets here. Like everyone else, I've been trying to spend as much one on one time with him as possible and keep him busy but my energy is so low by the afternoon and I feel awful about it. He doesn't seem to mind a show when he gets up from his nap in the afternoon but I feel terrible when he wants to run around outside and I literally cannot keep up. Feeling better I'm not alone with this though!

Russiandea12 · July 2014

I know that my DS will love his sister (most of the time) and being a big brother, but I feel so sad that he is no longer going to be an only child. I love our little family of 3 and am very nervous about adding another child to the equation, as things have been so wonderful with just him. Yesterday was our last mommy & son day, RCS set for 8/4 (I'm PT off on Tuesdays) so despite exhaustation, I made sure we had a great day. Went to the park, saw new Planes movie and got ice cream. I have been trying to do fun things with him all summer. We went on a beach vacation in May, zoo, etc. in anticipation of not being able to do much when the new baby arrives.

kcm3 · July 2014

I remember feeling that way before having #2 and it's easy to feel worried or guilty, but try to remember also what an AMAZING gift you are giving to them. Watching my boys form a brotherhood these past 3 years has been such a gift. They won't remember the extra tv time or staying home with a tired mom, but they'll remember all the fun they had with their sister/brother growing up.

STM- are you feeling guilty?

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