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Egg retrieval date set, and I might get fired

CML11CML11 member
in TTC after 35
So my work didn't have any idea that I'm doing IVF. Well I asked my boss for Thursday off for the ER and she said no. I have the vacation time, but she doesn't have coverage for me. So I stressed this is not something I can change the date on, she slams her fists onto her desk and still says no. So I tell her I haven't done 2 months of BCP, 2 weeks of daily hormone injections, Ultasounds, blood draws for nothing, not to mention the cost. I don't know what she's going to do, but this might cost me my job (thankfully I'm on my husband's insurance). And wait till she finds out I need tues/wed off for the transfer.

I talked to my doctors office and I must do this Thursday. They told me legally I can't be fired for this due to the Small Necessity Act and the Family Medical Act.
Does anyone know about this?
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Re: Egg retrieval date set, and I might get fired

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    edited July 2014
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  • meredithcarolemeredithcarole member
    If you have FMLA paperwork submitted with your company I wouldn't think they would be able to restrict your time off needed, but you indicated they were unaware of your IVF? It is really none of their business, but at the same time it might be due to the short notice that you got such a pointed reaction. Can you talk to her about it again?
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge: Animals in the Snow

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    AMA 35 :  DH 33
    BFP#1 1/26/14 (EDD: 10/7/14).  MMC 3/10/14 D&C 3/14/14
    RE Consult 11/3/14 - AMH 2.25 "great" . FSH 7.10 . Low Vitamin D
    Myomectomy 12/17/14.  Benched until March.

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  • URMySunshine77URMySunshine77 member
    Ugh. I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. I can't believe your boss isn't sympathetic.

    Like @JimBobCooter mentioned, I would suggest talking to Human Resources.

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  • CML11CML11 member
    @meredithcarole‌ I looked into FMLA, but IVF isn't a reason to apply.
    I'm sure it does have some to do with short notice, the other half is that my boss freaks out whenever I request time. I dread going to her to talk about anything, she's a royal witch.

    @JimBobCooter‌ I'm actually NH


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  • kindershlitzkindershlitz member
    Wow. I'm sorry. I hope you get the day off and she gets over it. Hopefully the Acts your dr's office told about you will help your case.
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  • kelley72kelley72 member

    First, congrats on upcoming retrieval!  So exciting and hopeful for you.

    Second, ugh what a woman.  I hope she settles down after she's had a moment to digest the information and she becomes supportive and no issue with needed time off.

    I have no experience with the situation so I'll just be a cheerleader for you and a successful retrieval!

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  • lgsdesignerlgsdesigner member

    Your doctor is correct. If you have a scheduled medical procedure, your employer absolutely cannot stop you from going, and they most certainly cannot fire you for it. If they do—you can sue the crap out of them.

    Just go. You already told her the date. I would also tell her about Tuesday and Wednesday now so she is fully aware. And—if you have vacation time, schedule it now for those two days.

     

    GL!

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  • Davie813Davie813 member
    Ugh, I am so sorry about this.  I have no legal expertise whatsoever, but I'm glad the consensus seems to be that there isn't much she can do.  I also can't believe she's still acting like this now that she knows what the time off is for.  I really hope that after she's had a chance to cool off and reflect a bit, she'll send you off to your retrieval with your mind at ease.

    I'll be sending good thoughts out there for you for a peaceful and successful procedure!
    *****Signature/Ticker Warning******

    Me: 41, DH: 45
    DD, 6/15/2013
    TTC #2 beginning January 2014
    AMH 1.05; FSH range 7-11

    July 2014: IUI #1.  Follistim + Pregnyl.  2 follicles--BFN
    September 2014: IUI #2.  Follistim + Pregnyl + Ganirelix + Crinone.  4(?) follicles--BFN
    October 2014: IUI #3.  More Follistim + More Ganirelix + Pregnyl + Crinone.  4 follicles--BFP!  Beta #1=10 Beta #2=33 Beta #3=97 Beta #4=158.  M/C 11/1/14
    December 2014: IVF #1.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  9R, 9M, 9F.  3 5-day blasts transferred 12/15. BFFN.
    April 2015: IVF #2.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  16R, 15M, 12F. Transferred 2 5-day blasts 4/12 and froze 4--BFP!  M/C 5/25/15
    August 2015: IVF #3.  14R, 13M, 11F.  Froze 5 blasts for CCS testing.  3 normals.  FET planned for 10/2015.



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  • TAT2MAMITAT2MAMI member
    What an unsympathetic B*tch your FEMALE boss is! I'm so sorry. I hope she realizes how she's being and backs off. You don't need this added stress! Hugs to you that it gets better!!
    Me: 38 ~  DH: 38 ~   DD: 8
    TTC #2 since March/April 2014.
     
     
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  • CML11CML11 member
    Thankfully she had settled down today, despite greeting me with "so what have you decided to do about Thursday?" (I wanted to say) Um, I didn't know I was undecided. Pretty sure I didn't do all this prep just for the kicks of it. When she brought up the topic of infertility it cued the stupid hormones and I started crying. For once they actually worked in my favor. So she became much nicer after that.

    Thanks for the support ladies. Hope this procedure goes smoothly.
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  • MARISAV77MARISAV77 member
    Your boss sounds like my boss! I'm a registered nurse and I just called out sick when I had my first IUI the beginning of the month, it's none of my boss' business what I'm doing that day so I felt like I didn't need to explain, just that I was sick! This 2nd cycle I did try to switch my shift with another coworker, so that I didn't have to call out sick, which I was able to switch. But if I couldn't I would have called out sick again. I know we are already stressed out with our fertility treatments we don't need the added stress from our work on top of it!
    Me: 37 DH: 37, married since Sept. 2013. "actively" TTC for a total of 13 months (after 7 months of TTC, took a 1 1/2 year hiatus due to work scheduling and wedding planning. Started up again after our wedding in Sept.) First evaluation by an RE November 2013

    HSG-normal
    OH-tiny polyp found, but RE assured me she doesn't think it's contributing to infertility and doesn't recommend me to remove it because it's so small.
    DH's SA-normal
    Hormones all within normal levels
    Ovarian Reserve-RE says "is great" she's not concerned about my egg quantity (which I was until I saw her and results came back good!) 

    04/2012 50mg Clomid=BFN (prescribed by OBGYN, not monitored)
    06/2012 50mg Clomid=BFN (prescribed by OBGYN, not monitored)
    11/2013 100mg Clomid, with HCG trigger=BFN (prescribed by RE, monitored with US (2 dominant follicles) and baseline bloodwork done)
    01/2014 100mg Clomid, with HCG trigger-(prescribed by RE, monitored with US-1 dominant follicle)=BFN
    06/2014 7.5mg Letrozole, HCG trigger (prescribed by RE, monitored with US-2 dominant follicles), IUI #1 on 7/3/14=BFN
    07/2014 7.5mg Letrozole, benched for IUI#2 this cycle, because I ovulated on my own before my follicular US. Progesterone suppositories=BFN Diagnosed with PCOS this month too. Testosterone levels high at 76. =( 
    08/2014 7.5mg Letrozole, HCG trigger with 19mm follicle. IUI#2 on 8/31 cancelled last minute due to family emergency. 
    09/2014 Taking a 3 month break starting this month. If not pregnant in 3 months, will start up again with medicated cycles and IUIs. Had all my labs and AFC re-evaluated this month also. RE says nothing much has changed since my eval last November, okay for me to take a little break. =) 




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  • KirstenAleciaKirstenAlecia member
    CML11 said:
    Thankfully she had settled down today, despite greeting me with "so what have you decided to do about Thursday?" (I wanted to say) Um, I didn't know I was undecided. Pretty sure I didn't do all this prep just for the kicks of it. When she brought up the topic of infertility it cued the stupid hormones and I started crying. For once they actually worked in my favor. So she became much nicer after that. Thanks for the support ladies. Hope this procedure goes smoothly.
    WTF......she is a 1st RATE BIOTCH TO  YOU and then brings up infertility??? What did she say????? Maybe she looked into whether she can deny you.....or just researched it in general and had a change of heart but still....NO EXCUSE! 
    SIGGY WARNING
    Me 38   DH 34
    married 05-21-11 
    started TTC right away






    BFP- 10-16-14 EDD 6/13/15: MC 12-1-14 
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  • CML11CML11 member
    @marisav77 and @KirstenAlecia my husband thought that maybe she realized she can't deny me time off for a medical procedure. I don't know! What floored me was that she actually had the balls to say "I know you have fertility problems and have been trying for a long time" WTF?! I have never said anything to anyone at work about my fertility problems so for her to say that, pissed me off so much! I wanted to say so many things, instead I cried. I'm still so curious to what she thinks she knows! Maybe she can see into my ute and tell me wtf is going on!
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  • Davie813Davie813 member

    CML11 said:
    @marisav77 and @KirstenAlecia my husband thought that maybe she realized she can't deny me time off for a medical procedure. I don't know! What floored me was that she actually had the balls to say "I know you have fertility problems and have been trying for a long time" WTF?! I have never said anything to anyone at work about my fertility problems so for her to say that, pissed me off so much! I wanted to say so many things, instead I cried. I'm still so curious to what she thinks she knows! Maybe she can see into my ute and tell me wtf is going on!

    Maybe that's her attempt at empathy? It doesn't sound like people skills are exactly her forte. I'm glad she's being more reasonable, but hope she doesn't want to keep discussing your fertility! :-O
    *****Signature/Ticker Warning******

    Me: 41, DH: 45
    DD, 6/15/2013
    TTC #2 beginning January 2014
    AMH 1.05; FSH range 7-11

    July 2014: IUI #1.  Follistim + Pregnyl.  2 follicles--BFN
    September 2014: IUI #2.  Follistim + Pregnyl + Ganirelix + Crinone.  4(?) follicles--BFN
    October 2014: IUI #3.  More Follistim + More Ganirelix + Pregnyl + Crinone.  4 follicles--BFP!  Beta #1=10 Beta #2=33 Beta #3=97 Beta #4=158.  M/C 11/1/14
    December 2014: IVF #1.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  9R, 9M, 9F.  3 5-day blasts transferred 12/15. BFFN.
    April 2015: IVF #2.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  16R, 15M, 12F. Transferred 2 5-day blasts 4/12 and froze 4--BFP!  M/C 5/25/15
    August 2015: IVF #3.  14R, 13M, 11F.  Froze 5 blasts for CCS testing.  3 normals.  FET planned for 10/2015.



    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

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    My Ovulation Chart

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  • pinkishrabbitpinkishrabbit member
    Does your company have an HR department? It may be worth it to speak with them about your boss's behavior as well as what they cover as far as FMLA or other health related benefits. Hope it all works out!
    Pregnancy Ticker 


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  • marijaa333marijaa333 member
    This makes me so mad! So sorry you have to deal with her. Document, report (lodge complaints with HR if necessary) and consult a lawyer. And don't let this bitter woman get to you. Millions of employed mothers are behind you every step of the way.
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  • MARISAV77MARISAV77 member
    Happy to hear they retrieved 6 eggs! yay! Hope your boss chills out soon. I got a "medical accommodation" approved for me to stay on day shift (Ive been working 12 hour night shifts for the last 3.5 years) to help regulate my periods, because I noticed my periods went crazy irregular when I had to switch to nights and they were very regular before. Anyways my doctor had to fill out a form and it had to go through my boss and EO office. After it got approved my boss went and told the other unit's head nurse that "infertility is now a medical accommodation" and told this nurse MY NAME! I am friends with this nurse and she told me what my boss had told her, needless to say I was EXTREMELY PISSED OFF! I had mentioned to my friend we have been trying to get pregnant in the past, but I never told her I was trying to get medical accommodations because of it. Total HIPPA violation on my boss' part, and I am waiting for just right the time to confront her about it, since she's been on vacay the last 2 weeks. It's fine to tell another head nurse that infertility can be considered for medical accommodation, but no way in hell was it okay for her say my name with it! 
    Me: 37 DH: 37, married since Sept. 2013. "actively" TTC for a total of 13 months (after 7 months of TTC, took a 1 1/2 year hiatus due to work scheduling and wedding planning. Started up again after our wedding in Sept.) First evaluation by an RE November 2013

    HSG-normal
    OH-tiny polyp found, but RE assured me she doesn't think it's contributing to infertility and doesn't recommend me to remove it because it's so small.
    DH's SA-normal
    Hormones all within normal levels
    Ovarian Reserve-RE says "is great" she's not concerned about my egg quantity (which I was until I saw her and results came back good!) 

    04/2012 50mg Clomid=BFN (prescribed by OBGYN, not monitored)
    06/2012 50mg Clomid=BFN (prescribed by OBGYN, not monitored)
    11/2013 100mg Clomid, with HCG trigger=BFN (prescribed by RE, monitored with US (2 dominant follicles) and baseline bloodwork done)
    01/2014 100mg Clomid, with HCG trigger-(prescribed by RE, monitored with US-1 dominant follicle)=BFN
    06/2014 7.5mg Letrozole, HCG trigger (prescribed by RE, monitored with US-2 dominant follicles), IUI #1 on 7/3/14=BFN
    07/2014 7.5mg Letrozole, benched for IUI#2 this cycle, because I ovulated on my own before my follicular US. Progesterone suppositories=BFN Diagnosed with PCOS this month too. Testosterone levels high at 76. =( 
    08/2014 7.5mg Letrozole, HCG trigger with 19mm follicle. IUI#2 on 8/31 cancelled last minute due to family emergency. 
    09/2014 Taking a 3 month break starting this month. If not pregnant in 3 months, will start up again with medicated cycles and IUIs. Had all my labs and AFC re-evaluated this month also. RE says nothing much has changed since my eval last November, okay for me to take a little break. =) 




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  • CML11CML11 member
    @MARISAV77‌ wow, that's so wrong! She knows better than that! You should say something to her as soon as you get the opportunity. Who knows who else she fled like sharing this info with!
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  • URMySunshine77URMySunshine77 member
    @CML11 and @MARISAV77: I'd like to go throat punch both of your bosses!

    image

                 Visit The Nest!image Visit The Nest!

      "It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness." - Eleanor Roosevelt


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