Book v card edit please remove this thread, now is not the time for it

avonleaC · July 2014

EDIT* I'd like to close this thread for the respect of the number of losses that have occurred recently. This topic was meant to be conversational, but in my opinion we should focus on other things more important today. I hope you all agree.
For those families experiencing a loss now or have ever, I hope you can find support within our community and my family will be thinking and praying for you.

sarals24 · July 2014

Meh. Poems are a little precious for my tastes.Registering is one thing, because it is just a guide if people want to buy you something. This is telling them what they need to buy you. And I wouldn't mind having a book shower, but be prepared for people to bring you a book instead of a gift. Books are not cheaper than cards.

mc0113 · July 2014

I think it's silly and gift-grabby to ask for a book when you will already be getting a gift. Some people don't buy cards anyways. If you want books, register for them and allow your guests to decide for themselves if this is something they want to buy for you.

CandEChicago · July 2014

It's a mixed topic here on the board. Some like the idea and sentiment.... where as others think it is tacky/rude to dictate to a guest how you want them to spend their money (on a book versus a card)... and others think you are opening yourself up to receiving 5 copies of Good Night Moon.

My recommendation... if you want books as part of your baby shower then add books to the registry.

Also - Be prepared to have some comments back on helping plan your own shower.

sarals24 · July 2014

Ha. Yeah, I'm not even touching the whole "planning your own shower" thing. If you are already at the stage where you are researching poems for your invitations, you're too far gone to be helped...

chicorojo · July 2014

I think it's tacky. Books are not cheaper than cards.

sarals24 · July 2014

My SIL's family hosted a book shower for her, and it was super cute. It was a "bring your favorite childhood book" kind of theme. But that was it...there were no other presents. You can't really make people bring your an "extra" gift in lieu of a card + their other gift.

mlee116 · July 2014

mc0113 said:

I think it's silly and gift-grabby to ask for a book when you will already be getting a gift. Some people don't buy cards anyways. If you want books, register for them and allow your guests to decide for themselves if this is something they want to buy for you.

Personally, I'm not going to clutch my pearls if I get an invite like this, but I do totally agree with @mc0113. If I do, I either ignore the request and do what I want or I adjust my budget for the gift to accommodate the cost of a book. Most good children's books don't cost less than a card unless you are buying some ridiculous card.

lionyloo32 · July 2014

If you are having a purely books only shower (i.e. the only gift is a book), then asking for a book is fine.

If you're asking for a gift, plus a book, why not just go ahead and throw in a diaper raffle while you're at it ..........

avonleaC · July 2014

I do like both of those suggestions, small font on invite or add to the registry. It is interesting how there are so many different takes on it. To each their own.

And regarding the "plan your own shower" I understand the opinions but in our situation it is just how it has unfolded. There's some family conflict (mom and aunt -her SIL have some conflict as mom often feels like my aunt takes over and doesn't include my mom. Let's just say my bridal shower was a disaster)

My mom shouldn't feel like she isn't included or that she's being pushed out, I really want her to be able to be excited and be able to have her first grand child's shower. Also I'm an event planner and I do graphic design as a hobby so designing the invitation with her and helping her where I can is helping us bond more.

sarals24 · July 2014

There aren't really that many takes on it...pretty much everyone said it's a bad idea.

mc0113 · July 2014

avonleaC said:

I do like both of those suggestions, small font on invite or add to the registry. It is interesting how there are so many different takes on it. To each their own. And regarding the "plan your own shower" I understand the opinions but in our situation it is just how it has unfolded. There's some family conflict (mom and aunt -her SIL have some conflict as mom often feels like my aunt takes over and doesn't include my mom. Let's just say my bridal shower was a disaster) My mom shouldn't feel like she isn't included or that she's being pushed out, I really want her to be able to be excited and be able to have her first grand child's shower. Also I'm an event planner and I do graphic design as a hobby so designing the invitation with her and helping her where I can is helping us bond more.

Just to note: 8 out of 9 people above say that this is not a good idea and in poor taste.

rshamos · July 2014

I don't like the poem. If you want books, you can put that on the invitation, just expect a cheaper gift. I like the book idea. I went to a shower where everyone brought a swatch of fabric and then the expectant mom's mother made a quilt for the baby. It was super cute!

marriedinaugust · July 2014

I will be in the minority here and say that we did this at my shower for DS and we got a bunch of great books and everyone wrote something sweet inside. Well over half the guests were teachers and they absolutely loved it. If people wanted to give me a less expensive present or no present in lieu of a book (or no present at all) I was just as appreciative for them coming to celebrate DS! I come from a family that almost always buys books as presents anyway. I always give a book plus a present to any child I buy for.

LadyRoarsome · July 2014

It's either really yay or nay, not too many different opinions. I don't like it. Books can be expensive. If there are certain books you want, register for them. A card $6>, a book $20<, there's a difference in price. I'd secretly bitch to my husband if I was invited to a shower with an invite like that. Please don't tell me how to spend my money on your gift. I enjoy baby shopping. I don't always have a ton I extra money to spend, typically I spend $50-75 on a gift. It's we're not really all that close though, like the last shower I want to, $30, you're book is included in that, so expect the smallest pack of diapers as a gift. How boring.

Cryssteen · July 2014

I don't see what this has to do with everything that's going on recently. It's a question, and one that I never thought would have a negative reaction. Almost every Baby Shower I've been to recently has asked for books in lieu of cards. I think it's cute. Everyone gets Go The F*ck to Sleep from me. But you can always forego the book or buy a super cheap one. Effing cards cost up to $8 these days anyway. And Amazon has everything. It's your fault if you buy a $20 book and then feel pissy about it.