Getting my kid to eat

MJC1116 · July 2014

I want to bang my head against the wall. My once adventurous eater refuses to eat anything except highly processed food. She used to eat everything, but for the past year she has slowly started weeding nutritious foods out of her diet. Now she won't eat any chicken unless it's a chicken nugget with a dipping sauce, she won't eat any type of meat, and don't even get me started on vegetables. Every night is a struggle. The plate goes in front of her and she starts to whine and cry, even it it's a new recipe. I am not going to get her in the habit of getting her own meal -- I believe she needs to eat what the rest of the family eats. I talked to our ped about it back in February and keep hearing that it's just something she'll grow out of, but it seems to be getting worse. I'm starting to worry that she's not getting the nutrition she needs. Have any of you been through this and do you have any suggestions for me? Thanks!

heatherwhite1984 · July 2014

i am going through this with my 2.5y. child used to eat so much (we made our own baby food, never had jarred food). child eats plain crackers, waffles, eggs, organic store bought smoothies (refuses to drink ones i make), freeze dried fruit, bananas, pasta with tomato sauce, and we are lucky if anything else. just starting to finally take a vitamin. doctor is not concerned since he drinks so much milk and water. we continue to offer everything, and we sneak veggies in to pasta. so yes, hopefully others weigh in, positively with new ideas, because i am out of them!

neverblushed · July 2014

Well, I know lots of books say that toddlers are picky eaters, but both of my kids actually got pickier after age 2, and didn't really start to eat like normal humans until around age 6.

Know that, as your doctor says, you WILL get through this, especially if you don't cave in to making special meals for your kids. Here are some tips that helped my kids go from being extremely picky at age 3 and 4 to great eaters by early elementary school:

--Stick to a rigid schedule of meals and snacks as much as possible. When I was at home we did breakfast at 8, snack at 10, lunch at noon, pm snack at 3, dinner at 6, small snack at 7:30. If she asks for food, and it's not time yet, remind her that the next meal or snack is coming up soon, and offer water or milk.

--Too much food overwhelms small kids. Put less food on the plate, cut the food into bite sized pieces. Offer 3 bites of chicken and 2 bites of veggie at the first serving. If she eats those 5 bites, praise her for cleaning her plate and allow her the chance to be "done," but remind her that there will be no other food until the next meal or snack. If she's not done, allow her to choose 2 more bites of whichever one she would prefer. Continue serving her in 2 bite increments until she's done. This way, you're not trapped in a "clean your plate" scenario where you've given her too much.

--If she's a carboholic (my kids were), hold off on serving any bread, noodles, or rice until she's eaten the meat and veggie servings. When she eats her 5 bites of the decent stuff, she can have 3 bites of noodles, or whatever.

--Whenever possible, make the snack fruit instead of junk. Even if she winds up eating a ton of the same fruit day after day.

--Offer a choice between a teeny-tiny junk food snack and a more generous healthy snack. This sends the message that junk food is okay for a sometimes treat, but we don't eat a cupcake the size of our head when "dinner" = 5 bites of real food.

--Cut back on juice, and seek to eliminate it. It can kill a kid's appetite.

--(I know this is tough) but cut back on processed foods whenever possible. They're addictive to kids and they turn kids off to the flavors of good food. My DD was exactly like yours. At one point, all she would eat was chicken nuggets, cinnamon toast, and hot pockets. The only way I could stop her from eating that stuff was to stop buying it and gradually transition to normal food.

--Get her involved in choosing and cooking the food. I got my DD off the hot pocket habit by making our own hot pockets with reduced fat croissant rolls, turkey lunch meat, cheese, and spinach. So, still not health food, but WAY better (and cheaper) than a hot pocket. I let her choose the filling, but required her to include a meat, a cheese, and a veggie.

--If you have a farmer's market near you, take her and let her pick out her very own fruits and vegetables and eat them, if possible, right in the parking lot of the market. Start with fruit. For some reason, my kids (even now that they're big) are willing to try more things at the market right in front of the vendor.

--Buy a kid friendly cookbook and make her pick out one recipe a week to try. The Rachel Ray kid cookbook was a good one for us. It got my kids to eat "weird" stuff like soup, veggie pizza, mashed potatoes with spinach in them, and mushroom-stuffed cheeseburgers.

Hang in there! It WILL get better if you don't cave in. As I type this, I'm watching my 9 year old (who at age 3 would practically only eat hot dogs) cut up a peach and a yellow bell pepper for his lunch.

sugarbear0524 · July 2014

I went to a nutrition seminar and the information has really stuck with me. The nutritionist said that as parents, we are in charge of what is served and when. The child is in charge of how much or whether to eat. She said to put a healthy meal of non-processed food in front of your child. Let the child decide how much of it (if any) to eat. That's the only choice, and the kitchen is closed until snack time. That approach takes it out of the battle zone.

neverblushed · July 2014

ClaryPax said:

We just bribe out kid like eat 5 bites of meat and then you can have a strawberry. I know its not the best method, but oh well.

I used this method at times as well, especially as they got older and were starting to become more flexible and more willing to work with me. When they were 3 or 4, and things were at their worst, I tried hard (not always successfully) to avoid any kind of pressure or bargaining at the table.

OP, what's nice about only putting a few bites of food on the kid's plate at a time is that it allows them (and you) to experience success at meals. If you're only requiring her to eat a few tablespoons of food, and she does, then the meal ends with you praising her instead of scolding or threatening. If she doesn't eat the 5 bites, just remind her that there will be no more food until snack, and that people who don't even eat 5 bites of dinner have to have milk and fruit for snack, not cookies. Let her choose whether or not to eat, and don't pressure her -- but don't give the cookies either!

We only had to do this extreme "5 bites per meal" thing for a few weeks before the dynamic shifted and my kids were willing to eat slightly more normal food, but I always erred on the side of giving my kids smaller portions at meals and letting them take seconds.

MJC1116 · July 2014

@neverblushed, thanks so much for your great suggestions. I never considered how overwhelming piling her plate up must be. We've already tried some of the strategies and have seen improvement. I'm definitely going to get her involved in the cooking process. We've done it with her a couple of times but I'd like to have her help me as much as possible. I think ownership in the meal can only help! Thanks again! Glad to hear this won't last forever.

mandymack · July 2014

Such amazing advice already given, I really appreciate reading it myself!

My son is super picky about meat and vegetables so I just put a small amount of it on his plate plus some familiar favorites (fruits and grains he enjoys) and let him decide when/what to eat and how much. I figure it's my job to provide the healthy food at every meal and it's really up to him to get adventurous and sample it.

My daughter became much more open to eating whatever was placed in front of her about age 6yrs so I'm hopeful.

rodiesmum · July 2014

We are asians so rice is a staple part of our diet. Thank god DD likes it as it is her energy source apart from milk. I agree they are very picky when it comes to food. My daughter would eat only the following: frim scratch chicken soup over rice, pork stew over rice, scrambled egg with rice, sauteed tuna with rice and fried fish with rice. Never had luck woth pasta except for chicken macaroni soup. Now im trying on more homemade vegetable soups to ladle over rice to get more variety and nutrition into her diet. I also ask her to 'help' me cook and surprisingly she gets more encouraged to eat what she 'cooked'.
Of course we still have fastfood struggles -- she likes french fries and ocassional hotdogs and orange juice. I try to limit it an im trying really hard.
A saving grace is her love for fruits - bananas, mangoes, grapes, lychees, strawberries and sweetcorn - if corn is a fruit lol. She brings at least two kinds of fruit to school everyday. Also she likes softboiled egg and toast.

Spin313 · July 2014

DS was always the pickier of my two kids but, now at six, he's starting to be more willing to try. DD was my better eater but, now at three, she rejecting so many foods she once ate.

Tips:
- My ped says to look at what is being eaten over the course of a week, not one meal or even one day.
- Make sure to serve a healthy and filling breakfast. This is a great time to get in fruits, dairy, protein, oatmeal, etc. Also, homemade smoothies are a great way to get in healthy calories.
- Try to keep snacks small and nutritious...cut up fruit and veggies, string cheese, yogurt, etc. Don't make the snacks more "appealing" than meals.
- Use a three section plate at dinner time. Fill each section with a small portion and encourage them to try at least two before you refill any section. (IE: pasta, veggies, meat...can't have a second serving of pasta until you at least try the veggies or meat).

harmonicbabe26 · July 2014

sugarbear0524 said:
I went to a nutrition seminar and the information has really stuck with me. The nutritionist said that as parents, we are in charge of what is served and when. The child is in charge of how much or whether to eat. She said to put a healthy meal of non-processed food in front of your child. Let the child decide how much of it (if any) to eat. That's the only choice, and the kitchen is closed until snack time. That approach takes it out of the battle zone.

I second this, though I have to say it is much easier said than done. My 2.5 yo absolutely will not try new food and if something is remotely not to her liking she just sticks out her tongue and lets it fall on the floor. Lovely. But I don't make special meals for her (unless we're eating something hard like steak or chops). And we in general don't have store bought meals in the house. I also stopped giving her snacks and now she at least eats her meals better. At school I told them to serve her fruit from lunch at snack time, and even though they tell me she so badly wants other kida graham crackera etc it's a NO.
She still frustrates me daily so we give her a multivitamin.

As long as she sleeps at night and doesn't wake saying she 'needs food in her tummy' (only happened once) I'm fine with her refusing to eat. Her choice if she wants to go hungry...

TLGBaby2 · July 2014

Such Great Tips!!! Thanks. I'm at the, "well if you don't eat what i fix, than you don't eat", stage with my almost 4 year old.

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