Baby Shower demographics & geography

mommy5point0 · July 2014

We have seen several threads asking if 2nd + showers are okay and something that keeps coming up is geographical norms.

I've always wondered where people are from when their stance is firmly on one side or the other.

Quick and dirty, what's your general location and is the norm there?

mommy5point0 · July 2014

I'll go first: SF Bay Area/Silicon Valley & they're common.

mahalo3 · July 2014

Texas. They are common if your kids are many years apart. If you have your kids close togther, but are having a different sex, then a "sprinkle" or a diaper sower is more appropriate.

mandamoochie · July 2014

Mid atlantic.. 2nd showers appropriate only if kids are many (like 7+) years apart. Celebrate the next child, yes. Shower, no.

jennjilljo · July 2014

From FL there's one actual baby shower but it's not uncommon to celebrate second baby through a large dinner or party in which some may bring gifts or gift cards.

jaytee16 · July 2014

I'm in Ontario and I have never heard of anyone having a second shower/sprinkle until I came to TB.

lizjennings81 · July 2014

I'm from Michigan and live in DC. In neither place have I seen or been invited to a second shower.

srcr2011 · July 2014

I'm in NM, every one has a 2nd, 3rd etc baby showers. Usually it is the pregnant lady's mother and or sister hosting and rehosting. Same people are always invited too.

I did side eye a 3rd shower for DH's cousin. I thought "again, sheez?!"

I was guilty of a faux pas (by accident). I had 2 showers. One was hosted for me for family and friends. Many co-workers were invited since I was close to them. Well, a good friend of mine planned a surprise shower at work. I was completetly surprised. It was given before my actual shower. So come my other shower, the co-workers showed up again with more gifts. Had I know, I wouldn't have had them invited them to my second shower. I felt very bad and was cringing inside. I felt they came out of obligation.

Ducktale · July 2014

I live in the Midwest, no second showers. For close friends we might do a small informal get together with maybe a few small gifts, but even that is not common.

mommy510 · July 2014

I'm originally from South FL. It is very common to have second showers there. If your second is the same sex as your first, you will probably have more of a sprinkle or a diaper shower.
Now we are living in TN. No one does second showers here. Close friends and family will bring a gift to the hospital or your house when they visit the baby, but no official shower.

michelle142 · July 2014

WI. Norm here is a shower for the first baby.

Any subsequent children don't get a full shower, but sometimes work tosses something together before ML or close friends and family will bring gifts after the baby arrives.

mandamoochie · July 2014

I have a feeling this is just much more of a "who's in your social circle thing" than regional even. If they are party planning people, multiple events. If they more laid back, probably just 1 shower.

Mrsgclark81 · July 2014

Chicago, generally a second shower is ok if it's been more than 4 years since the 1st baby.

My kids are pretty spaced out (in age) so I have had 2 baby showers so far.

My son was 6 when my daughter was born. With this little one it will be my 3rd baby shower since its been 8 years since my daughter was born.

We hung on to her baby things for a couple of years and then ended up having a yard sale, not realizing we would end up having a 3rd baby .

Trouble81 · July 2014

Colorado. We do baby showers. No matter what # baby! You do not throw your own and they don't have to be big, and if the kids are the same sex as before or close in age you get a sprinkle, but there is always some type of party or celebration for a new baby. Women like throwing parties and shopping. That is just how it is here. I personally want to do a gender reveal party to celebrate with close family and a handful friends. No presents, just the company of the ones I love so they all find out at once! But I don't know if I can just throw one or have to have someone else throw one for me? Lol

jaztastic · July 2014

Im in Maryland...and we are pro-multiple showers (regardless circumstances like age between children)

but I'll say this. I think its more about your particular culture upbringings than where you live.

My friends/family in Chicago do it

My family in Connecticut do it

My family/friends in Atlanta do it

My family in Toronto do it

My family/friends in Virginia do it

Not that I want to start a race debate, but this is MY personal experience. My good girlfriend from Rhode Island (who happens to be white) was registering for child #1, and kept talking about neutral stuff, everything had to be neutral... even the nursery theme. Even though we knew she was having a boy. And I asked out of curiosity, and she said because you only shop 1x for big stuff and only have 1 shower. I had never heard of it before... until I got on here and found multiples are taboo. When ask IRL friends more times than not, my experience is certain cultural backgrounds say no multiples where others are okay with it like my group.

Eta: clarity

chickyclg · July 2014

I am from TX, we normally do second baby showers in my family and social circle, But we also look for any reason to gather and have a reason to celebrate. We have huge families so for us a first baby shower is normally around 150 people on average and second showers are usually around 50 or so. You never host your own, but everyone (mainly aunts) wants to do it, thats just our crazy family.

mommy5point0 · July 2014

@jaztaz1‌ I get it. They're common within my cultural circle too... I'm Mexican. Husband and his family is white, I'm not sure what their norm is but I side eyed the hell outta my SIL for saying she "needed" another shower because she was having a girl and only had boys before (BFP w/#3 when #2 was 11 months old or something like that). It was more so because she just made no bones about it that she wanted one. I threw #2 but busied myself with work on #3. MIL said almost everyone gave clothes in addition to contributing to the diaper raffle, so it sounded like an inadvertent sprinkle.

junebugjam · July 2014

I'm in NJ. I've never known anyone to have more than one shower.

AF9211 · July 2014

I'm in the Philly area. I have seen multiple showers, but I do not think they are "common." My best friend from childhood is 1 of 4 girls. Between the 4 of them, there are 12 kids. They all had showers or sprinkles for each of their pregnancies. But this is the only time I've seen/been invited to subsequent showers. My sister-in-law had a second shower with her DD, but her son was 10 at the time and it was BIL's first child.

mommy2lele · July 2014

I am from Wyoming and they are common if the children are many (5+) years apart.

wintersong139 · July 2014

srcr2011 said:

I was completetly surprised. It was given before my actual shower. So come my other shower, the co-workers showed up again with more gifts. Had I know, I wouldn't have had them invited them to my second shower. I felt very bad and was cringing inside. I felt they came out of obligation.

Surprise showers come with no faux pas for you! If your coworkers came to both and gave presents at both, that is on them, not you, especially if you sent invitations BEFORE the surprise one! No need to cringe at all.

jennasnipes · July 2014

I am from Florida and second showers are very common! If you are having the same sex as last time most people do a sprinkle, though.
Now living in South Carolina and mentioned to a friend about throwing her a shower for her 2nd and she looked at me like I was crazy! Definitely not the norm here...

FlowerPower16 · July 2014

Ducktale said:

I live in the Midwest, no second showers. For close friends we might do a small informal get together with maybe a few small gifts, but even that is not common.

This.

maltwin1 · July 2014

I'm from Alabama and second showers do happen on very rare occasions. I've only seen it if the older child is much older and a close friend offers to throw one.

Also, you or your own family throwing your shower is a big no no whether it's the first shower or not.

ConstanceGoodspeed · July 2014

Honest question: why would you want a second shower? I have so much baby gear in my basement right now, doubling it just because it isn't pink/blue makes me want to ugly cry.

Unless of course your kids are super spaced out, so your stuff is expired or you sold it. Or, twins.

Beth.1212 · July 2014

Northeast and they're thought to be rude / gimmie-pig-ish.

psychobutthead · July 2014

I live in Texas and everyone I know hassecond showers. Im from West Virginia from the eastern panhandle and everyone i jnow there or of has second showers also.

missfashionbarbie · July 2014

We are in Colorado, we are having a larger shower ( mostly because BF has a pretty big family). This is my first but he has a daughter already, everyone was all for having a shower. We are also doing a gender reveal party, which we are planning as a no gifts party more like a barbecue or something.