Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
jwebb0512
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Sleep
jwebb0512
member
DS is 19 months. Around 9 months we sleep trained him using Ferber. The only positive that came out of it was that he started STTN. He has continued to cry for around 10 minutes, sometime longer, until he falls asleep. We have talked to our pedi 3 or 4 times and he assures us that it's normal, DS is old enough to manipulate us, and we need to set those boundaries. However, about a month ago, I decided I couldn't take the crying anymore and started rocking him to sleep, again. It worked for a couple nights until he figured out he could buy time by pointing and playing instead of settling in and letting me rock him. So, I started laying him down and laying beside his crib while I rubbed his back until he fell asleep. My hope was to eventually work my way further and further from his crib until he'd fall to sleep and not need me in the room. This has backfired totally because 1) DS either plays or he falls into a restless sleep and tosses and turns. I think because he's figured out that he'll wake up and I'll be gone. 2) DS has totally stopped STTN. He now wakes up at least twice and needs me to lay with him until he falls asleep. I'm exhausted and DS is beyond exhausted and is a mess. I'm torn because I'm so tired of the crying every night at bedtime, but waking up multiple times a night isn't working, especially with DH deployed and I'm doing it all alone. At the same time, I also don't feel like I should just sit and watch him while he plays for 30 minutes in his crib. The crying makes me feel guilty, like I'm abandoning him. At the same time, I don't feel like me staying in his room is doing him any favors either. I guess I'm just seeking advice...any advice!
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Re: Sleep
THIS!
With everything we do DD knows the ritual. She knows after dinner is bath, after bath is lotion, after lotion is book, after book is bed. When i read the last page of the book she will tell us night night and give hugs and kisses. When i put her in the brib we have another ritual where i turn on the fan and her music and each of her stuffed animals in the crib gives her a kiss. I would rather take an extra 2 minutes with tucking in then worrying all evening. Granted if she looses her paci at any point in the night and cant find it she will cry until one of us makes it to her. So we have been working on her communication skills here and she will say uhoh if she cant find it. we will just scrounge one up and she is good to go!
Children/toddlers/infants are really good at manipulation so as long as you are teaching your LO that you have a purpose to be in there other than the crying (ie finding out why the crying is happening) then LO should communicate with you. Of course this happens at different ages, but its never too early to start the teaching process! Just remember you are doing a great job!!!!