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Vacation without my baby

SAMorrison88SAMorrison88 member
in Babies: 3 - 6 Months
Hi, my husband and I are supposed to go to a wedding in October and there are no children allowed. My son will only be five months old at the time and the wedding will be on the other side of the country. My husband really wants me to go but I'm nervous and feel guilty about the idea of leaving the baby for four days let alone I dont feel like I would even be able to enjoy the trip because all I would think about and worry is the baby. I have trouble pumping my milk because it hurts, I'm worried that he'll prefer the bottle to my breast by the time I get back, and that my supply will dry up. My husband and I don't agree on who the baby should stay with, I don't want his parents too because his dad tires out too easy and has health issues that would make things difficult for him to do with a baby and I find his mother to be overbearing and she doesn't seem to listen to what I want regarding the baby, the only one I would trust is my dad because he was a neonatal nurse for years but my husband doesn't like him very much. My husband doesn't see what the big deal is on why I have such an issue leaving the baby behind but it bothers me when we're shopping and he goes to a different isle with the baby and I can't see them. Just the idea of being away from my boy for a half hour makes my stomach do flips. I don't know what to do here because I feel so pressured by my husband and his mother to leave the baby but I don't feel like I'll be ready to leave him with anyone anytime soon especially for days on end.
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Re: Vacation without my baby

  • shaunessashaunessa member
    I would take the baby with me and skip the ceremony, but attend the reception.  I can understand not wanting to have kiddos during the exchanging of the vows because you want that moment to be special, quiet and intimate.  You want to be able to look back at your wedding video and focus on the two of you exchanging words, not some whiny kid in the background.  But at the reception...there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to take your baby. There's usually music, nonsense, and loud drunks.  I would just buy a pair of baby headphones for noise cancellation.
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  • Tess024Tess024 member
    I agree with PP. Talk to be bride and groom and see if you can bring him to the reception. I'm sure they will understand.
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  • yeah.yeah. member
    Do not ask the bride and groom or just bring the baby. That's rude. They specified a child free wedding - that is their choice and it's a dick move to bring your kid or put them in an awkward position of saying no or yes.

    I would either 1) go without the baby 2) ask my dad to come along and watch him during the wedding or 3) send my husband without me. Honestly, I would go though.
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  • yeah.yeah. member
    shaunessa said:
      But at the reception...there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to take your baby. There's usually music, nonsense, and loud drunks.  I would just buy a pair of baby headphones for noise cancellation.
    there is a reason: baby wasn't invited.
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  • shaunessashaunessa member
    yeah. said:
    shaunessa said:
      But at the reception...there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to take your baby. There's usually music, nonsense, and loud drunks.  I would just buy a pair of baby headphones for noise cancellation.
    there is a reason: baby wasn't invited.
    True.  But even a reception with no kids allowed is a dick move!  
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  • SouthRNComfortSouthRNComfort member
    Go and take the trip, and bring your dad along to watch the baby while you are at the ceremony and reception. A few hours away from the baby won't hurt. And yes, you do have to pump while away for the night.
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  • yeah.yeah. member
    shaunessa said:
    yeah. said:
    shaunessa said:
      But at the reception...there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to take your baby. There's usually music, nonsense, and loud drunks.  I would just buy a pair of baby headphones for noise cancellation.
    there is a reason: baby wasn't invited.
    True.  But even a reception with no kids allowed is a dick move!  
    no it's not. Maybe not what you would do, but perfectly normal and acceptable.
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  • flclflcl member
    @sing2phins has a good point about kids vs infants at weddings.  I've been to several where the bride and groom wanted a no kid reception but was completely fine about tiny babies.  It sounds like maybe this is a friend of your H's?  Have your H ask.  If the answer is no, having your dad go on the trip to help watch DS is not a bad idea.  It'll be ok.  I don't like being away from LO either but it's good for the two of us to have some time to practice before I return to work full time (not sure if that's also something you have to deal with eventually.)  GL!
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  • banks81banks81 member
    We had a child (under age 10) free wedding and that included babies.  If everyone had brought their children we would have had 20 kids at a 180 person wedding.  So, no, I don't think you should bring your baby.  If you're close enough to the person to ask, then do that.  But don't be offended if they tell you no.  We had people choose not to attend our wedding because they couldn't bring their kids and that was fine.   

    You do need to find time away from your baby, regardless of you going to the wedding or not.  Start slow if that would make you feel better, but there is no reason you cant leave for a few hours at a time.  It is healthy for you to get time away.  
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