SS explaining death

Katieluc106 · July 2014

DD1s guinea pig passed away this week. We had a nice burial in the back yard. We thought that was a good idea because she kept asking if we were gunna take it to the dr to make it feel better. We figured if she saw us bury it she would understand the permanence ( to a point of course).
Well now all she talks about is death. Daddy fell asleep on the recliner last night and she had an hour long meltdown because she thought he was "dead like meep" (the guinea pig).
I said something about the battery being dead on the iPad and she had a melt down "my iPad dead like meep" that lasted 30 minutes.

Does anyone have any advice? Should I just not being attention to it? Let her get over it on her own terms?
It just breaks my heart. No 2 1/2 year old should walk in on her dad sleeping and think he's dead.

catsinawindow · July 2014

I don't really have anything to add, I think LuvThoseLions was right on w her answer. I did have a related question/concern though, if you don't mind me asking on your thread. My DS somewhat understands the concept of death, and as your DD did, fixates on it when it's brought up.

My mom died about 10 years ago, and both of DHs parents are dead as well. DS knows that grandmom is "gone" but I haven't told him that she's dead. I just hate the idea that my 3 year old would know that his mommy could die. A few days ago, DS tried to give DD a very small toy. DH corrected him, but when DS tried again, DH told him that if she put the toy in her mouth she could die. I thought this was excessive, but DH felt it was important for DS to understand the severity.

Maybe I'm overly sensitive about death, but I sort of feel like a 3 year old needs to be somewhat sheltered from these facts. What do you all think?

Katieluc106 · July 2014

Honesty. My aunt has a 5 year old very sheltered child and I've seen it first hand how damaging the sheltering can be. But I think DH went a smudge too far. He could have said she would get really hurt and need to go to the dr. For three year olds that's severe enough.

b48kate · July 2014

saltypearl said:
I have to repeatedly tell DD that daddy is dead. She completely doesn't get it. Because her language is still developing her current thing is calling every man dada or daddy. I say each time, he might be a dada but he is not your dada. If we can I ask Would you like to look at a picture of your dada?
It seems like she understands the "typical" family unit is a momma and a dadda and kids but she's confused where we fit in.

That has too be so hard...hugs!

Katieluc106 · July 2014

@saltypearl‌ hugs xoxo I couldn't imagine having to explain that. I should just count my lucky stars it's just a guinea pig ❤️❤️

Cherylwang · July 2014

My husband passed away when I was pregnant with my first. I always just told my son that he went up to heaven and he couldn't be here with us. I re-married and have a almost 4 year old and feel that I will now have to explain it to her. Which will be confusing and hard to do.

Carriebear22 · July 2014

A few years ago my niece had a friend whose brother was killed, and she got very confused and scared about heaven. She was scared that if she died and went to heaven she wouldn't know anyone and nobody would be able to take care of her. It was very sad, my mom then told her about my grandmother in heaven who would take care of her. That helped, but still breaks my heart to think about my sweet niece being so scared.

allrightmeow · July 2014

I don't know if it's because Im breastfeeding at this moment or what but, this thread has me so emotional.

Katieluc106 · July 2014

We just continue to be as honest as possible. We don't include talking about heaven because we don't feel it's necessary

Rei2metse · July 2014

Since the passing of a pet is often times kids first experience with death, the vet I worked for kept books on hand to assist parents with its explanation.

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