Success after IF

Ugh my In-laws

We went yesterday to their house for my FIL's birthday celebration. To give you a little background they have a weight obsession. When seeing their children the first thing they say is something about their weight ie. looks like they've put on weight, or they've lost weight and it looks great. My son is in the 85th percentile for weight and my pediatrician says he's healthy and doing great. My in-laws ask at every visit how much my son weighs, tell me he shouldn't drink a bottle at 11 months and my favorite comment is that he looks swollen. WTF? Last night I was appalled, they actually pulled out a scale and were going to weigh him in front of everyone - needless to say I put an end to that quickly. After leaving their house - I drive home in tears. We struggled for three years to have my little guy and they know we did; and they can't enjoy him instead they just pick him apart. Sorry this is so long. I just had to vent.

Me 38 MH 41 - TTC since June 2010 - dx with Severe MFI. Straight to IVF with ICSI. IVF #1 - ER 06/13/12 - 9 Eggs Retrieved - 4 ICSI'd - only 2 fert. 06/15/12 - 2DT - 3 cell & 6 cell with fragmentation. Beta 06/29/12 - IVF #1 = BFN. 07/20/12 - WTF Appt -Told by our RE to quit IVF. Second Opinion from RE is good. IVF#2 - November 2012. Estradiol Pills Started 11/6. Stims start 11/16. ER 11/26 - 7 eggs retrieved - all mature. 4 fertilized with ICSI. ET 11/29 Transferred 3 embryos. Beta is 12/10. 1st Beta 81 2nd Beta 160 and 3rd beta 360!!! First U/S 12/21/12 - We saw one beautiful gest. sac. 2nd U/S is 01/04/2013 - H/B 183 02/05/13 - NT Scan - everything looks good and IT'S A BOY!  Aiden was born 08/20/2013.

IVF #2 is in progress.  ER was 05/12/14 - 11 eggs retrieved, 8 fertilized with ICSI.  ET was 05/15/14 - we transferred 3 embryos as we did on the cycle my son was conceived.  We were able to freeze 3 embryos. Beta is scheduled for 05/26/14.  1st beta - 111.  2nd beta - 159 didn't double :( 3rd beta Friday 5/30) - not a lot of hope left. Beta # 3 is 247 - probably ectopic.  Beta # 4 is 813 - possibly vanishing multiple sydrome?  06/05/14 - 5w4days - first U/S - we see a gestational sac and yolk - still have hope!  06/17/14 - 7w1day - U/S and saw and heard the heartbeat - Finally!  06/27/14 - 8w4days - Baby and heartbeat look and sound great :)  EDD 02/01/14 and It's a boy!


 "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."


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Re: Ugh my In-laws

  • Dislike!! Ugh, they sound unsupportive. Sorry you have to go through this.
    Diagonsed PCOS TTC since May 2009
    First M/C December 2010 Second M/C August 2011
    Oct 2011~Second round clomid 50 mg; BFN
    Nov 2011~Third round clomid 50 mg: BFP
    Dec 11- Beta #1 91;Dec 13- Beta #2 186.2
    Dec 27- third miscarriage
    May 25th- Beta #1 369;May 27th- Beta #2 798
    Baby girl born Jan 23, 9lbs 3oz, 21 1/2" long
    May 27th-Beta #1 80; May 29th- Beta #2 304; May 31st- Beta #3 860
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  • Seriously?? Wowza!


    TTC#1 for 19 months with PCOS and MFI IUI#3 + injectables = BFP!!!!  Beta#1-134(13dpiui) Beta #2-392(15dpiui) 
    #1 born December 2011
    TTC#2 - Beta #1 -51@10dpo Beta#2 -1353 @16dpo
    #2 born May 2013
    TTC # 3 June 2014 BFP 12-1-14
    #3 born August 2015 
    #4!!!!!!! due June 2017 
  • Yuck. That is horrible. Good for you for standing up for yourself and your LO, mama.

    DX: DOR and MFI 

     

    IVF w/ICSI brought us our 1st precious miracle

    V born via induction 4.29.11

    TTC #2: IVF (MDLF) August/September 2012

    ER 9/7: 6R, 5M, 4F ET 9/12: 5dt of 2 blasts 

    +HPT 9/17! Beta #1 (9/25) = 1,000 Beta #2 (9/27) = 1,860 U/S #1 (10/11)...TWINS!

    1/8/13 - It's a..boy and a girl!!   

     

    S&B born via induction 5.8.13

     

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  • TJ1979TJ1979 member
    Wth? Sounds like they have serious issues. Sorry they hurt your feelings. YH really ought to talk to them about that.
    TTC with PCOS since November 2009
    IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
    IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
    IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
    beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
    beta #2 11/28 = 2055
    Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
    Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
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  • Whaaaaaat!? That's not okay at all. I would definitely have a chat or make your H chat with them before visiting them again. I'm so angry for you! I'm so sorry you had to deal with that and ended up crying. Good job stopping it before it got worse.
    DH & I: 29
    TTC #1 4/2009 -  DD 2/5/10
    TTC #2 since October 2011
    2IF issues
    7/2013 - IUI #1: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFN
    8/2013 - IUI #2: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFP! Beta #1 (12 dpiui) 8/21: 45  Beta #2 (16 dpiui) 8/26: 301 Beta #3 (21 dpiui) 8/30: 1,929. 1st Ultrasound 9/4 - One perfect sac. 2nd Ultrasound 9/13 - Heartbeat at 124 bpm! Anniversary  

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  • Holy cow. That's nuts and just plain mean. My ILs, on the other hand, treat weight like an academic score- the closer to 100, the better. My poor little boys look like dismal failures with their 3rd percentile weight "grades."

    I will never understand the obsession people have with baby weights. As long as the doctor says all is well, why do people care?
    TTC in 2009, Dx: Unexplained IF
    Three TI cycles (BFP...miscarriage), five IUI attempts and 2.5 IVF cycles later...BFP!!
    12dp5dt: 765; 15dp5dt: 1979; 17dp5dt: 3379...TWINS!!!!!
    Our perfect baby boys were born at 36w1d!! 








  • Wow! I'm so sorry you have to deal with on a regular basis. How rude!
    ~TTC since July 2010~
    CD3 Bloodwork:Normal 
    HSG-Clear 
    SA:Low Morph 
    IVF with ICSI #1: ER 12/16 (4 ER/3 Mature/0 Fertilized) 
    IVF with ICSI #2: ER 5/17 (4 ER/4 Mature/3 Fertilized)/ET 5/20 (2 embryos transferred)-BFN 
    IVF with PICSI #3: ER 9/8 (11 ER/8 Mature/7 Fertilized)/ET 9/13 (2 AA blastocysts transferred) 
    Beta#1, 9/26/12: 719 Beta#2, 9/28/12: 1,436 Beta#3, 10/1/12: 3,446
    1st u/s on 10/10/12: It's Twins! We found out on 12/16/12 that we were having two BOYS!
    C & D were born on 5/16/13 at 10:46 am and 10:47 am


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  • ccamccam member
    What the hell is wrong with people?! Not ok - good for you for standing up for him. I would have DH put an end to that before your LO realizes what they are saying.

    ___________________________________________________________________________

    Trying for #1 since May 2010   l   DX ~ Unexplained Infertility June 2011

    IUI #1&2 = BFN; IUI #3 = BFP, m/c @ 6 weeks

    November '11 ~ IVF#1 ~ ER 11/18 (29R, 17F) ~ 5dt of one beautiful blast on 11/23 = BFP!!

    Beta #1 9dp5dt = 116, P4 = 28 ~ Beta #2 13dp5dt = 700 ~ Beta #3 20dp5dt = 9500, P4 = 26

    1st u/s 12/27 - hb of 156!! EDD 8.10.12 :)   **TEAM GREEN!**

    Sweet baby boy born 8.18.12

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    Trying for #2

    FET #1 - October '13 - c/p   l   FET #2 - December '13 - cancelled :(   l   FET #2.2 - 1.30.14 - BFN

    ~ More testing - hysteroscopy, endometrial biopsy & more b/w - all normal / negative~

    Surprise BFP while waiting on FET #3 ~ beta #1 500; beta #2 1600; first u/s 4/3 - measuring 5w5d, no hb yet!; 2nd u/s 4/10 - hb 132, measuring 6w6d - EDD 11.29.14 :)    **TEAM GREEN!**

    Beautiful baby girl born 11.24.14

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  • Ruthie04 said:
    Holy cow. That's nuts and just plain mean. My ILs, on the other hand, treat weight like an academic score- the closer to 100, the better. My poor little boys look like dismal failures with their 3rd percentile weight "grades." I will never understand the obsession people have with baby weights. As long as the doctor says all is well, why do people care?

    My ILs are this end of the spectrum too. Both my kids are 5-10th and she thinks they are/were malnourished because there is no way I could satisfy them with just BM. I usually lie to them and say the kids are 25th%tile.


    TTC#1 for 19 months with PCOS and MFI IUI#3 + injectables = BFP!!!!  Beta#1-134(13dpiui) Beta #2-392(15dpiui) 
    #1 born December 2011
    TTC#2 - Beta #1 -51@10dpo Beta#2 -1353 @16dpo
    #2 born May 2013
    TTC # 3 June 2014 BFP 12-1-14
    #3 born August 2015 
    #4!!!!!!! due June 2017 
  • WOW. I don't even have any words. Just WOW. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. :( 
    Married 6/08, TTC 7/09
    MC w/ D&C 3/11 ~ 9.5 weeks
    CP/MC 1/12 ~ 5 weeks
    2 IUI's w/ BFN
    IVF 6/12 ~ 8R, 0F ~ Rescue ISCI gave us 3dt of 2 (6 cell, 9+ cell)
    DS born ~ 3/3/13
    IVF 6/14 ~ Operation Sibling ~ 10R, 5F ~ 5dt of 1 Blast
    Beta 1: 1600+, Beta 2: 4588
    Everyone Welcome!
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  • Thank you ladies for giving me your feedback. MH and I have had a long discussion and he will be talking to his parents about what happened, that it's not okay and WILL not happen again.

    Me 38 MH 41 - TTC since June 2010 - dx with Severe MFI. Straight to IVF with ICSI. IVF #1 - ER 06/13/12 - 9 Eggs Retrieved - 4 ICSI'd - only 2 fert. 06/15/12 - 2DT - 3 cell & 6 cell with fragmentation. Beta 06/29/12 - IVF #1 = BFN. 07/20/12 - WTF Appt -Told by our RE to quit IVF. Second Opinion from RE is good. IVF#2 - November 2012. Estradiol Pills Started 11/6. Stims start 11/16. ER 11/26 - 7 eggs retrieved - all mature. 4 fertilized with ICSI. ET 11/29 Transferred 3 embryos. Beta is 12/10. 1st Beta 81 2nd Beta 160 and 3rd beta 360!!! First U/S 12/21/12 - We saw one beautiful gest. sac. 2nd U/S is 01/04/2013 - H/B 183 02/05/13 - NT Scan - everything looks good and IT'S A BOY!  Aiden was born 08/20/2013.

    IVF #2 is in progress.  ER was 05/12/14 - 11 eggs retrieved, 8 fertilized with ICSI.  ET was 05/15/14 - we transferred 3 embryos as we did on the cycle my son was conceived.  We were able to freeze 3 embryos. Beta is scheduled for 05/26/14.  1st beta - 111.  2nd beta - 159 didn't double :( 3rd beta Friday 5/30) - not a lot of hope left. Beta # 3 is 247 - probably ectopic.  Beta # 4 is 813 - possibly vanishing multiple sydrome?  06/05/14 - 5w4days - first U/S - we see a gestational sac and yolk - still have hope!  06/17/14 - 7w1day - U/S and saw and heard the heartbeat - Finally!  06/27/14 - 8w4days - Baby and heartbeat look and sound great :)  EDD 02/01/14 and It's a boy!


     "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."


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  • kmc84kmc84 member
    Ducky719 said:

    A scale? For a baby? Umm not ok unless you are his/her pedi. Good for you for putting your foot down. Holy crap the things i would say...

    THIS! That would very likely be the last time they saw me or my child for a very long time. I'm ligit angry at them right now and I clearly don't even know them!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    TTC# 1 since 5/10
    Me:34 Type 1 Diabetes, Ankylosing Spondylitis, Hypothyroid DH:35 Perfect
    DX: Unexplained IF
    Many IUI's with various meds all BFFN
    IVF #1 11/11 canceled due to OHSS
    IVF #2 Feb/March 2012 ET of 2 on day 3 4/7 BFP! 5/1 u/s blighted ovum
    IVF #3 July 2012 ET of 3 on day 3 7/24 BFP!
    Healthy baby girl born at 36w4d on 3/9/13

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    TTC #2
    IVF #4 May/June 2014 ER 6/4 18R 8M 8F ET 6/9 1 blast, 2 frosties
    Beta 6/18 BFFN

    FET of 2 blasts 7/24...BFP!
    Healthy baby girl born at 36w3d on 3/17/15

    TTC#3
    IVF #5 June 2018- PGS planned, no surviving embryos
    IVF #6 August 2018- ET of 2 on day 3 - Chemical pregnancy
    IVF #7 August 2019-....?
  • Wow they sound like my family, I have had to lie about my weight for years its disgusting. My LO is smalll but has "fat legs" and cankles its the whole families obsession. I say put your foot down now otherwise it will only get worse! good for you!
    6 m/c
    Anovulatory cycles, increased Synthroid Diagnosed Sep 2010
    Natural cycle Dec 2010 BFP M/C 6 1/2 Weeks, D&E Jan 2011
    1 Clomid/Ovidrel BFN May 2011
    Natural cycle Aug 2011 BFP M/C 4 Weeks
    1 IUI Sept 2011 BFP M/c 7 weeks
    Provera Dec 2011 BFP M/C 3 Weeks
    DQ ALPHA HLA MATCH, High NK Cells Diagnosed Dec 2011
    IVF March 2012 BFP m/c 4weeks 5 days (IL, Prednisone)
    IVF#2w/DS July 2012 MEGA FAILURE BFN (IL, Dexamethasone)
    Diagnosed No real HLA Match, DQ Beta Triad, High TNF, Low NK Cells
    Oct 2012 Natural Cycle m/c 4wks (Lovenox, Prednisone) 
    Went to Beer Center- high tnf, low lad, implantation failure
    Nov/Dec 2012 LIT Treatment
    Dec 12 Humira
    Jan 2013 BFP
    Humira,LIT,Prednisone, Lovenox, IVIG, Baby Aspirin
    Miracle Born August 2013 Premature

    Yours doesn't have to be a sad story



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  • Im sorry mayzie that is awful. Hugs mama. I would not want to be around that ever. I agree that their behavior was disgusting.
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  • Wow all of that is not okay. Coming from a family of weight issues I would never allow that. He is little now but god I would hate for him to think that everything revolves around weight and looks. My grandfather always ask when I see him how much I weigh, If I have been working out and if I go for seconds he will say I don't need anymore. Hence my mother's sisters have been anorexic, bulimic  you name it. I think I would have DH have a serious talk with his family. If they can't keep their comments to themselves about weight/pulling out a scale etc their visits will be limited if at all. I'm sorry you have to deal with such nasty behavior :/ 

    Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born. 

    6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived

    10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP 

  • @mcgeeva I'm sorry you have to deal with this from your grandfather :( MH's sisters all have unhealthy relationships with food. When we are at dinner with them - they push the food around the plate but don't eat and they are scary skinny. I don't want my son to be part of that.
    MH is talking to his parents today either cut out the comment and antics or lose the interaction with my son for good. We won't tolerate it.

    Me 38 MH 41 - TTC since June 2010 - dx with Severe MFI. Straight to IVF with ICSI. IVF #1 - ER 06/13/12 - 9 Eggs Retrieved - 4 ICSI'd - only 2 fert. 06/15/12 - 2DT - 3 cell & 6 cell with fragmentation. Beta 06/29/12 - IVF #1 = BFN. 07/20/12 - WTF Appt -Told by our RE to quit IVF. Second Opinion from RE is good. IVF#2 - November 2012. Estradiol Pills Started 11/6. Stims start 11/16. ER 11/26 - 7 eggs retrieved - all mature. 4 fertilized with ICSI. ET 11/29 Transferred 3 embryos. Beta is 12/10. 1st Beta 81 2nd Beta 160 and 3rd beta 360!!! First U/S 12/21/12 - We saw one beautiful gest. sac. 2nd U/S is 01/04/2013 - H/B 183 02/05/13 - NT Scan - everything looks good and IT'S A BOY!  Aiden was born 08/20/2013.

    IVF #2 is in progress.  ER was 05/12/14 - 11 eggs retrieved, 8 fertilized with ICSI.  ET was 05/15/14 - we transferred 3 embryos as we did on the cycle my son was conceived.  We were able to freeze 3 embryos. Beta is scheduled for 05/26/14.  1st beta - 111.  2nd beta - 159 didn't double :( 3rd beta Friday 5/30) - not a lot of hope left. Beta # 3 is 247 - probably ectopic.  Beta # 4 is 813 - possibly vanishing multiple sydrome?  06/05/14 - 5w4days - first U/S - we see a gestational sac and yolk - still have hope!  06/17/14 - 7w1day - U/S and saw and heard the heartbeat - Finally!  06/27/14 - 8w4days - Baby and heartbeat look and sound great :)  EDD 02/01/14 and It's a boy!


     "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."


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  • I'm sorry, that sounds really miserable.

    So what happens if the tables are turned and someone comments on their weight? 
    Married 9-4-04

    ***PM me for my IF history***

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