Stay at Home Moms
Socialworkgirl
member
2 year old frustrations (long)
Socialworkgirl
member
Does anyone have suggestions about how to help 2 year olds cope with and appropriately express frustration/anger in ways other than throwing things? Also, what about helping them calm down when they get upset when mom and dad are not around?
Here is the background: DD turned 2 in late June and is pretty sensitive compared to other kids I see her age. I think she might be somewhat of a perfectionist because if she can't do something, she gets very frustrated very quickly and will throw tantrums that almost always involve throwing toys or other items. She also sometimes throws things when she is mad that we are telling her she has to do something she doesn't want to do. It doesn't feel like time out is the appropriate response in these situations, because I feel like she doesn't know how to express/deal with her frustration in any other way.
We try asking her if she needs to calm down, ask her to sit in her little arm chair, tell her to take a deep breath, or give her body a hug. These things sometimes help, but not consistently. Most of these things came from the board book Calm Down Time. Also, while these things might help her calm down we are always doing them after she has already thrown something.
The other challenge is that she usually gets hysterical if another kid her age tries to touch her or they run into each other or something like that. These are not situations where she is really hurt, she just freaks out when other kids get in her space. What makes the situations worse is that she has a VERY hard time calming down if DH or I aren't there and if she gets too upset, she will frequently throw up. She is currently going to a MDO program 2 hours per day for the summer. Parents can stay or leave for the 2 year old class and many people use it to help their kids accustomed to separation. All but 1 day she has either been crying when I arrive or they have called me because they can't calm her down. The staff seems great and I really think she has fun but she just struggles to deal if she has any physical contact with other kids. She also struggles some with drop off/separating from me and has a hard time claiming down but the biggest issue is dealing with other kids.
Here is the background: DD turned 2 in late June and is pretty sensitive compared to other kids I see her age. I think she might be somewhat of a perfectionist because if she can't do something, she gets very frustrated very quickly and will throw tantrums that almost always involve throwing toys or other items. She also sometimes throws things when she is mad that we are telling her she has to do something she doesn't want to do. It doesn't feel like time out is the appropriate response in these situations, because I feel like she doesn't know how to express/deal with her frustration in any other way.
We try asking her if she needs to calm down, ask her to sit in her little arm chair, tell her to take a deep breath, or give her body a hug. These things sometimes help, but not consistently. Most of these things came from the board book Calm Down Time. Also, while these things might help her calm down we are always doing them after she has already thrown something.
The other challenge is that she usually gets hysterical if another kid her age tries to touch her or they run into each other or something like that. These are not situations where she is really hurt, she just freaks out when other kids get in her space. What makes the situations worse is that she has a VERY hard time calming down if DH or I aren't there and if she gets too upset, she will frequently throw up. She is currently going to a MDO program 2 hours per day for the summer. Parents can stay or leave for the 2 year old class and many people use it to help their kids accustomed to separation. All but 1 day she has either been crying when I arrive or they have called me because they can't calm her down. The staff seems great and I really think she has fun but she just struggles to deal if she has any physical contact with other kids. She also struggles some with drop off/separating from me and has a hard time claiming down but the biggest issue is dealing with other kids.
Aside from the MDO program we are a part of a mom's group and get together with others her age 2-3 times a week. The same issues occur on these play dates but it is easier because if she gets upset I can help her calm down. I have had success with getting her to give other kids high fives. This gives her the opportunity to interact with them but it is not too intrusive for her.
I should also note that while she understands language very well and knows many signs and communicates well nonverbally, she speaks maybe 5 words. She did not qualify for speech therapy through early childhood intervention at 18 months but we are having another assessment done Friday.
I understand some of these issues (particularly throwing things) are typical for this age and will get better with time. I also know that some of this is likely exacerbated by her lack of speech skills and hopefully we can get help with that soon. However, in the meantime, I would love to hear any tips or strategies anyone has for better dealing with these issues.
Thanks! Sorry this was long!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: 2 year old frustrations (long)
One of the things they do at daycare is a sip/drink of water.. But really, just keep reinforcing what you're doing. It takes a while! Two is the "WTF are you crying?" year - because sometimes it's just mind boggling what will set these little land mines off.
As another pointed out, focus on the behavior you want instead. Toy time-out at this age is often great because it stops them without most of the drama. There'll be some, but it's more logical in a 2-yo's mind so they get over it quicker.
BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12