Breastfeeding

Aversion to breastfeeding

Hi, I am 18 weeks pregnant and I am starting to freak out because I have an unusually extreme fear/aversion of breast feeding. Its not just the thought of baby feeding, Its the thought of milk coming out my breasts....period. It makes my stomach churn. I want to breast feed because I am aware of the benefits but I don't know if I can get over this. I see people posting about fear of breast feeding but I can't find anyone who's fear is as extreme as mine or has to do with the mere thought of milk coming out. Even pumping sceves me out. I seriously think I might throw up if I try. It really upsets me that I am like this and nobody understands. Please don't tell me that breast feeding is a beautiful thing (i know), that its ridiculous to be scared or grossed out (I know), that its the best thing for me and my baby (i know). I am aware of all of these things but it doesn't change the visceral reaction I have to the thought of it.  Has anyone else felt like this? Were you able to get over it?

Re: Aversion to breastfeeding

  • I didn't have the exact same feelings but I did have an aversion to it. For me it was about being the "only one" or feeling confined because of it. I spoke with my OB  about my feelings and she assured me that whatever decision I made for my baby would be the right one. And that breastfeeding is best for some, but not for others. Our pediatrician agreed.

    I never fully got over my feelings so I decided to combo feed and that has worked out well for our family. Maybe you could try that? The first days, weeks and months with your new baby is precious time. You don't want to waste a minute of it being uncomfortable or unhappy. Do what's right for you - don't worry what other people say and think.

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  • I don't have any real advice for overcoming your aversion.  Seeing a counselor like pp said might be a good idea. Otherwise, I might even take the opposite approach and try not to think about it too much (easier said than done, I know) until your LO is born. Educating yourself is important, but psyching yourself out about it ahead of time might only make it worse. And naturally everyone's first instinct is to tell you all the things you already know but don't want to hear right now. 

    I don't remember who it was, or what board I read it on, but there was a comment someone posted about feeling similar to what you describe, but as soon as her LO was born and started rooting her instincts kicked in and all she wanted to do was breast feed. So hold on to hope that once your LO is here you may feel differently. 

    Good luck!
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  • agm04agm04 member
    I'm pregnant with my first, so I don't have experience breastfeeding, but I just wanted to say that I understand.  I don't have the same phobia, but I do have a pretty serious vomit phobia, and I know what it's like to feel like no one gets it.  It's not something you can just "get over" or "turn off".  People even think it's funny...I assure you it's NOT funny when you're experiencing the anxiety it brings!

    Anyway, I also recommend seeing a counselor.  I've found that my phobia is worse at times when I'm more stressed/anxious in general, and talking through your feelings on everything might help.  It's an overwhelming time and it's okay to be scared!  I'd look for someone who specializes in phobias.  Good luck!
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