Spousal Sleeping Arrangments

Soupy84 · July 2014

Curious to know what you all are doing for sleeping arrangments.

Now that DS is sleeping in his crib in the nursery, I am sleeping in our bed again (I spent the first 6 weeks sleeping on the couch while DS slept in his swing).

DH and I made the decision tonight to start sleeping in separate rooms. He is having trouble sleeping with the monitor noise and wakes each time I get up/return to bed. This isn't what I want, but he needs more sleep.

So, what amendments have you made?

kendy20 · July 2014

My hubby is also a deep sleeper so sleeping arrangements haven't changed for us. I just turn the monitor off in our room when I leave to go get DD for her MOTN feeding. Then once I've got her back down I'll turn it back on once I'm back in bed. But he seriously sleeps through anything, our dog had an asthma attack in our room one night while I was feeding DD and hubby didn't even wake up.

blessednewmom1 · July 2014

After sleeping on the couch in the living room for weeks after my c section, we both are now trying to sleep in our bedroom and ds is sleeping in his nursery in the crib. DH gets up when ds wakes and changes his diaper and then brings him to me to nurse. I feed and put ds back to bed.

purtz · July 2014

I was totally wondering about this! DS sleeps in his nursery, so I typically sleep in our bedroom with the monitor by my head and go back & forth to feed. DH often complains about not getting enough sleep (sorry, no sympathy dude), so sometimes I just sleep in the rocking chair in the nursery or in our extra bedroom. I do get a little resentful after he's had his 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep and I've been up 3 or 4 times on my own... But I look forward to his help with sleep training to get LO to STTN soon!!

usernewname · July 2014

DH sleeps through anything. He only goes to the couch is when he can't sleep. Which is a seriously rare occurrence for him.

Or unless one of us is really sick. But like really really sick.

cowpoly959 · July 2014

MK1013 said:
Luckily for him, DH has trained himself to be a deep sleeper when it comes to hearing her. He sleeps through anything from her grunting to her wailing. But this also means that even when he has the following day off, I no longer get help at night (not that he can do much, she's EBF). In the beginning he would at least get up and change her then hand her over, buuuuut......

I still try to be as quiet as possible and keep her quiet the best that I can.

Exactly this

mrsbtobe20122 · July 2014

We sleep together. Separate was a non-option for us. We are in it together.... And we've had friends that had huge marital issues from sleeping in separate rooms/ older children sleeping in the bed for years/ etc.

jsaffer01 · July 2014

My hubby works overnights so just a couple of nights a week we sleep in the same bed. There have been times that I go to sleep before him and he'll sleep in the guest room because me and the dog would take up the whole bed. LO sleeps in his nursery and MH doesn't wake to his sounds, so I wake him up to do what needs to be done with the baby.

apinkpelican · July 2014

DH could sleep through a tornado. The problem is actually me finally falling back asleep around 4 from the MOTN then his alarm going off at 5:30. Then he hits snooze 3 times and gets ready in our master bath. So my second stretch of sleep is basically crap. LO and I don't get up till 7.

Nikkipal82 · July 2014

Our bedroom is downstairs and the nursery and spare bedroom are upstairs. I'm not ready to sleep so far from LO (and don't want to have to climb stairs for a MOTN feeding, so I sleep in our bedroom with LO in the RNP next to me, and most nights DH sleeps upstairs in the spare bedroom. He doesn't always sleep well, so it kind of works for us. We actually slept separately a decent amount before we had LO. I imagine that when I'm ready to have LO sleep in the nursery, I'll sleep in the bed in there for a bit, and the spare room down the hall for a bit after that. I'm not too freaked out that not sleeping next to one another will ruin our marriage, since much of this is short term.

Jennyinheaven · July 2014

We all sleep in one room, baby in her crib next to our bed. I usually go to bed after pumping then DH gets baby ready for bed, comes in and puts her down around 11 and climbs into bed. I wake up naturally at 4 ish to pump and give a bottle, then I try to go back to sleep but usually I toss and fight insomnia.

LunaBug924 · July 2014

We have been sleeping in our bed together since day 1 as well. DD was in a RNP in our room until 4 weeks old, then we moved it into her room, and last week we started her in her crib. I keep the monitor by my head on the lowest volume since I wake up at the slightest noise. DH is a deep sleeper and even if he does wake for a minute, he falls right back asleep. He also knows better than to complain about being tired!

pistolpackinmomma · July 2014

This week he is sleeping in Boston. Next week he'll be sleeping in Toledo. Who knows where after that. Meanwhile, both boys and I are all sleeping in our own beds in southern Ohio. It's not ideal but we're hoping it will only be for a couple more months. When he is home he sleeps in bed with me. If he ever once complained that me getting up to feed in the MOTN was disturbing his sleep he would get a nut punch before he even knew what happened. In the beginning when DS2 was in our room still I would raise the head of the bed (love the adjustable base bed!!!) to feed in our bed.

dogsombrero · July 2014

DH and I sleep in our bed and have since day 1. He is a light sleeper but has trained himself to sleep through the general baby noise unless it's lengthy fussing or crying.

Jules is sleeping in his crib in his room. We moved him starting at 8 weeks because he hated the PnP and the RnP made him gasser because he couldn't fart. He's only getting up once at night if he doesn't STTN so it's not a huge deal. I keep the monitor by my head. We're all sleeping ok at this point.

haylo33 · July 2014

DH and I have slept in our bed from day 1 also. LO sleeps in a RNP next to the bed. He is starting to nap in his crib so hopefully we will transition him there at night. DH usually doesn't wake up if the baby is fussing. I think he has selective hearing. He also has trouble falling back asleep so if LO wakes him up after 4, he struggles

lrmrtn · July 2014

In the beginning we took turns sleeping on the couch while DS slept in his swing. Now we both sleep in our bed except that DH ends up falling asleep on the couch and spending half the night there. He has sleep issues so he did this before the baby so not much has changed!

crystalmir91385 · July 2014

No special arrangements. DH never wakes up to the monitor. DD has always slept in her crib in her room, which is next to ours.

letal316 · July 2014

DH and I have always slept in our bed. DD sleeps in her crib in her room since week 8 (12wks now). DH used to be such a deep sleeper but since DD's arrival he started to wake when she does. When we were doing MOTN feedings he would just keep sleeping or fall back to sleep easily, now, we all sleep straight through the night. DH gets up for work at 6:30am and DD and I sleep until 9 or 10.

jenb_99 · July 2014

DH and I sleep in the same bed no matter what. He sleeps right through baby and toddler noise. Never even stirs.

Arinias · July 2014

We have all slept in the same room since day 1 as well. DS is in a PnP right next to my side of the bed. I have always just gotten up for MOTN feedings, DH would help a little in the beginning with diaper changes, but mostly it has been me since DS is EBF. I wouldn't say DH sleeps through everything, but he would fall back asleep pretty easily if he did wake up. Also the few times he complained he got evil glares and 0 sympathy. Now DS is prettty much STTN so it is a non-issue. I have noticed our cuddle time has gone down though because I always sleep facing DS and close to the side of the bed now.

spinsoffresonance · July 2014

The first few weeks DD2 slept in the bed with me. DH usually slept with us, but if DD2 ended up taking half the bed DH would move to the guest bed in DD1's room to have more room. Now DD2 sleeps in the cosleeper. DH and I are in the bed together. I don't get up at night to change diapers anymore, just feed DD2 lying down and out her back in the cosleeper. Sometimes DH sleeps with earplugs if Dd2 is being loud. We've gotten used to sleeping with white noise on since we started using it when DD1 was a newborn. I remember loathing it at first though.

thefussybunch · July 2014

DH and I sleep in out bed. DD sleeps in her RnP and wakes at 3a to nurse. I nurse her in our bed and will typically put her back in her RnP. Some nights she ends up staying in bed with us.

Sam0905 · July 2014

DH sleeps in the basement guest bedroom while I sleep in our bed and DS sleeps in his crib in his room. I miss sleeping with DH, but we all get the most sleep this way so it's fine for now. When DS starts STTN, we'll sleep together again.

Bootsie327 · July 2014

DS is still in our bed in the snuggle nest, but will be moved to the crib over the next couple weeks because he's growing out of it. DH can't sleep with him in the bed, so on nights when he has to get up for work at 5, he sleeps in the guest room. The goal is to have him come back every night once DS is in his own room, but you make a good point about the monitor. I guess we'll see how it goes!

QOTR · July 2014

LO has slept in his crib in his room since day 1. The first night, I slept on the loveseat (aka my feeding station) because I was afraid I wouldn't hear him, and I'm still there! DH initially slept on the couch, but after he went back to work he moved back to bed. It was never my intention to do it so long. LO still wakes up 3-4 times a night, and more importantly, sometimes takes forever to go back down. Since I'm not working yet, it makes sense to let my husband get as much sleep as possible. I start back to work next week though, so I plan to move back to the bedroom this weekend to start getting used to it. Transition is hard.

Soupy84 · July 2014

Thank you all for your input. Every family has different needs and it was great hearing what everyone has done!

I think I was just a tad overly emotional when he started voicing his sleep grievances. After sleeping in separate rooms last night, I can honestly say I am excited to do the same tonight. Talk about a great sleep (between MOTN feedings of course)! I didn't have to creep out of the bedroom or come back to laying in bed while he snores in my ear.

ho11yday · July 2014

We sleep together; if DS2 gets up in the middle of the night when I work, DH will get him. I can normally sleep through these unless DS2 (or DH, really) is being extra fussy.

If DS2 wakes up when I'm off, I'll take him out to the living room so that DH can continue sleeping.

keeumm · July 2014

We sleep in the same bed together, have the whole time. Baby started sleeping in her crib in her room at 6 weeks (now 8 weeks). Before that she was in rnp on my side of the bed. DH is usually the one who gets up with her when she wakes up at night, and then he wakes me up to pump. I usually stay up a little bit past him to make sure that she is down for the night, but I fully admit he does way more than me for MOTN feedings.

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