Grrr.
Said in a way to make me feel better, but all it really does is make me think they think we, and every specialist and teacher he's had in the last year, are wrong with the dx. Yes, I'm sure he does line up his trucks...but all day, everyday? That plus about a million other signs... There really is no denying reality here... believe me, I've tried.
Sorry, needed to vent a bit.
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11
BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14
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~All AL'ers welcome~
Re: "My {insert name of typically developing child} does that, too"
I'm sure she was just trying to make me feel better, but it came across as her implying that something I'd attributed to asd was normal (lining cars up by size). What I don't think she took into account was how frequently he does it...or all the other stuff he does (spinning, flapping, grunting, not talking at almost three, infrequent eye contact...I could keep going). We spent a fair bit of time with them last summer and I could easily point out a half dozen instances of his asd shining through (stereotypy while on a duck boat and while watching sprinklers and while on a train ride, and him completely spazzing out at a museum...if he gets over stimulated he doesn't meltdown, he runs/jumps/grunts while smiling hugely).
I'd considering pointing those things out and explaining the whole frequency and intensity thing to them. My brother, her DH, has madesimilar comments.
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11
BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14
My Recipe Blog
~All AL'ers welcome~
And in my case, this is one of those things that isn't just related to SNs, bit also to adoption. If I ever mention something in passing, people automatically assume that I'm worried it's either tied to adoption or the possibility of SNs, and try to persuade me it's not as bad as all that. They would never do that to patents in a typical family. They thing is, half the time I'm not worried at all, because I understaffed the behavior is normal kid stuff and it never cruised my mind there was something wrong or that it's tired to the adoption--that's *their* phobia, not mine. The other half, I *know* there is an actual reason to be concerned, so their stories of typical children really don't apply.
I don't usually get too upset by all this except when it comes from someone who should know better, like my parents, brother/SIL, or in-laws. They *know* the deal, all about what we are facing with the kids, and yet they are always minimizing things. My father is the worst about this. It's like he thinks that I have the worst possible view of our potential outcome, and he's trying to pull me out of some abyss and show me the, "it's not do bad" light. He always tells me I shouldn't read/learn about our diagnoses so much or put the kids through so many doctor's appointments, because we are all just guessing, and no one knows what the outcome will be. I should worry myself to death. "Uh, gee thanks, Dad. You're right, I should just remain woefully ignorant of the possible outcomes and not do anything to help them achieve their best potential."
We have beagles. They are bred to do two things: smell stuff and tell you when they smell stuff, loudly. They can be heard through woods and across fields. They can be annoying as all get out. Other dog owners love to tell me that "oh, all dogs sniff, all dogs bark."
Not like this.
My kid is hardwired to go longer, harder, stronger than other kids.
Yeah. All.day.long from everyone I know. I have a BFF (who doesn't have kids) who will interrupt me when I'm talking about DS's IEP or whatever and say "But Miranda, you're making him sound worse than he is. He's FINE." Needless to say this friendship is beginning to strain, and usually requires alcohol. And Auntie hit the nail on the head- I should know better by now to just not talk about it with her.
My Mom pulls this all the time too- I'm very close to sending her this link: https://www.yeahgoodtimes.com/ Click on the "All Kids Do That" tab for similar stories from other parents.