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Pregnant and Husband deployed

AriandnickAriandnick member
in Military Families
I am 6 months pregnant and my husband deployed a month ago.  They say he will be gone for 7 months but we are not sure.  This is his 4th deployment and my first.  The pregnancy and deployment were both not planned.  Found out we were pregnant and then 3 weeks later found out he would be deploying in 2 months.  we tried to prepare me as much as possible but I am struggling.  He did not deploy with anyone else in his unit so there are no other wives who are going through the same thing.  I am trying my best to keep busy but still having a hard time.  Anybody with similar experience and or advice.  Thanks
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  • emoxymooseemoxymoose member

    Is your husband in the National Guard or Reserves, and was hand selected for the deployment with another unit? The unit he deployed with should have a Family Readiness Group that can help you with information about his absence.

    As for a support group, you can call Military One Source and they can set you up with a group if you feel like you just need someone to talk to who actually understands.

    Not sure if he has Skype capabilities where he is but that also helped to pass the time while my DH was away.

    In the meantime I would just focus on what you need to get done for the baby, and do it day by day, that will also help time move quicker.

    Good luck!

    Pregnancy Ticker
                           

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  • mrsrich3mrsrich3 member
    I can understand where you're coming from. I found out I was pregnant the same month my husband deployed. This is my first deployment with him. He deployed from Parris Island alone, so I also don't know anyone else currently in the same situation. My pregnancy and this deployment were also not planned. He only had like 3 weeks notice before he deployed, and we had just bought a house. Crappy situation to be in! He's been gone since February. I'm due early November. Luckily for me though he'll be back next month. I'm really sorry to hear that yours will be missing the birth and first few months of baby's life. It is hard, but from my experience it gets a lot easier with time. Just try to stay busy and you really will get used to him not being around. Are you able to keep in touch often? That makes a big difference too, I think. 
    IAmPregnant Ticker
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  • SaraJane137SaraJane137 member
    My husband is about to deploy and will be gone until after the baby arrives. I hate the way the timeline has worked out in all of this, but I'm trying to take it in stride. As with any deployment, I would say stay focused on what needs to be taken care of... you and that little one... and try to stay busy when things seem hard. Make sure you don't just sit around in a rut. It always helps me to make sure I'm being proactive and try to keep from dwelling or moping when it's deployment time. Hope things go as smoothly as possible and time goes by quickly for you!
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  • laxin31laxin31 member
    Not sure what branch of service you are but you should have someone through family fleet (navy term) who is connection and help you even if they are not local yo you. Also family fleet should have a support group too. Check with them or your what ever the equivalent to what branch if service your husband is in. There are plenty if military forums you can also join.
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  • MrsPDXMrsPDX member
    My situation is different, but I'll share anyways. DH was set to go away for 7 months of training, then 1 month before he left we found out I was pregnant. He isn't deployed, and is only about two hours by plane away, but I can only write letters (not skype or even phone). He should be back two weeks before the baby arrives, if he is on schedule, and not delayed. Therefore, he is missing the entire pregnancy and possibly the birth.

    I have no clue what it must be like with a SO deployed, but I do know what it feels like to have one gone. Its terrible. I am a FTM and I always expected to experience this with my husband, and now for everything, all those wonderful, happy moments, I am alone... and usually sad. 

    My advice is to plan a lot with friends and family. I know its not the same, I really know that, but it does help to occupy the time. I do Wednesday night dinners with my girlfriends, Friday night dinners with my parents, and then Saturday and Sunday stay busy with friends, family, cleaning, shopping... also keep a pregnancy journal so that you can share it maybe with your husband later. And take  a lot of pictures of your growing bump and send them to him. My DH loves receiving pictures and pregnancy news in the letters. Sorry if this is no help at all...
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • Maries1987Maries1987 member
    edited November 2014
    I'm sorry you are in such a tough situation. I am almost 7 months pregnant FTM (due near the end of January) and as of right now, DH is scheduled to deploy beginning/middle of January. This pregnancy was planned. We had been trying for over 1.5 years and figured missing the birth would be better than waiting until he got back, but it still sucks. This will be the second deployment that we have been through. 

    I have a couple friends in a similar situation. One had a baby 11 days before her husband deployed for 7 months. The other has had her husband deployed for 7 months while everyone else had theirs at home. It was tricky for both of them, but they kept busy visiting family (when you can fly again, hanging out with friends, and just generally staying busy with thier LOs.

    For me, I am hoping that when the baby gets here the time will just fly by. But not so fast I don't get to appreciate all the fun stuff! 

    Stay connected. If you need someone to lean on, we are here for support. 
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  • SaraJane137SaraJane137 member
    We are in a very similar boat. Found out about the baby, then found out that the husband would deploy 2 months later. Now here we are...
    They say he'll be home again, but it won't be before the birth. So now we're trying to pick names, share ultrasound pictures, and be excited about this littlest one, all via internet.
    This is NEVER ideal or exciting, but we're making it work. I'm sorry you're having a similar time.
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