Changing OBGYNs?

kath16 · July 2014

I very embarrassingly accidentally posted this on the Loss board and DDed. So if anyone found this post that way, I'm very sorry. I hope it's not too sensitive for those ladies... This is copied and pasted exactly how I originally wrote it over there, so hopefully this helps with my rudeness of a DD.

Hi Ladies,

Have you ladies changed, or considered changing, OBGYNs after your loss(es)? I didn't have a particularly BAD experience with my OB, but I wouldn't call it great either. Mostly I just don't know if I ever want to go back to that office after everything. I have had to get some gyno procedures done since my loss (I have a LEEP scheduled this week) but once that's over, I want to consider a new practice.

Am I being a crazy person about this? There is a practice not too far that is both and RE and an OBGYN practice, so for that reason it would be high on my list of consideration if I do end up changing doctors. I wouldn't really NEED one at this point unless I were to get pregnant, but I am just thinking ahead a few months if I don't get pregnant again on our own.

Would appreciate any feedback. Thanks!

farniegal · July 2014

I thought about changing OBGYNs before my loss actually. We were having trouble TTC and I didn't feel like she was doing enough, but the issues were related to DH not me.

I had some pretty awful experiences during the loss, but my OBGYN has been consistently patient, sympathetic and kind throughout the process. I figure the unpleasant stuff is just as likely to happen anywhere else bc no place is going to have all exceptional nurses. The lab people change over frequently and the other issue was a curmudgeonly, old OBGYN at the practice that I spoke to when he was on call over the weekend.

In the end I trust my OBGYN with my care and personally think I wouldn't be happy anywhere bc I so unhappy with what I am going through.

But that's just my personal experience and opinion, you have to decide what is best for you. I don't have an RE, but if I was thinking of changing I would ask them for a recommendation.

Good luck and I wouldn't worry about the DD - I only get annoyed when someone DDs after they don't like the answers and even then that's only on TK...I think on TB people should cut people a little more slack.

I would just assume you picked the wrong board and DD to post correctly - as you did.

kath16 · July 2014

Thanks @farniegal -- I just know that the Loss board is extra sensitive and I would never do anything intentionally there.

There are just a couple of things that stand out for me at my current OBGYN practice that I don't love. And as this was my first real experience with them (my first pregnancy appt was my first-ever appt with them) I have no real attachment. I had a WONDERFUL nurse during my D&C but other than that everything has just been so-so.

I know there are mean/bad/curdmudgeony people everywhere, but if it's all the same I think I'd rather have a change of scenery. I absolutely know that another practice wouldn't have been able to save my pregnancy, but I think mentally I just need something different.

Thanks for reading.

mak7788 · July 2014

Also considering changing my OB. Well, she was a nurse practioner. I never saw my OB because I never made it far enough to get to my 8 week appointment. But NP rushed me, and laughed when I asked her if my bleeding was normal. She also asked me why I was crying when she told me my betas were 11.

Furthermore, the lab techs drawing my blood got pissed when I showed up 3 minutes before opening. I heard them say "ugh this is so frustrating, don't they understand that we don't open until 8?!" So yeah...I'm switching. And writing a letter.

And no, OP, you are not being crazy for considering a switch. A lot of women switch OBGYNs for variety of reasons. And the reasons you explained seemed legit to me!

FmrAFBrat · July 2014

I switched after my first loss. My first practice would never call me back when I was having issues and severe pain before and after surgery. They told me I was having round ligament pain and over reacting and refused to see me before 8 weeks. I had an ectopic that ruptured because of them. They also blew me off for 8 weeks of hell, basically to be told I was having another ectopic and needed methotrexate.

Anyways, it turned out they left tissue in me. Somehow after my surgery tissue was left inside me. My current doctor suspects I was pregnant with twins and they missed that baby because of all the blood in my uterus. They gave me methotrexate while I was rupturing too...so if there was another baby it was pretty much aborted. I did end up passing that tissue naturally though.

Anyways, the practice (& hospital) I switched to has been wonderful with my miscarriage. They even called to see how I was doing after my D&C. One thing I did after my ectopic was interview practices. If they didn't have a perinatal loss support system I kept looking. Sorry this was so long, but if you're not happy...switch. There are good doctors out there.

kath16 · July 2014

FmrAFBrat said:

I switched after my first loss. My first practice would never call me back when I was having issues and severe pain before and after surgery. They told me I was having round ligament pain and over reacting and refused to see me before 8 weeks. I had an ectopic that ruptured because of them. They also blew me off for 8 weeks of hell, basically to be told I was having another ectopic and needed methotrexate. Anyways, it turned out they left tissue in me. Somehow after my surgery tissue was left inside me. My current doctor suspects I was pregnant with twins and they missed that baby because of all the blood in my uterus. They gave me methotrexate while I was rupturing too...so if there was another baby it was pretty much aborted. I did end up passing that tissue naturally though. Anyways, the practice (& hospital) I switched to has been wonderful with my miscarriage. They even called to see how I was doing after my D&C. One thing I did after my ectopic was interview practices. If they didn't have a perinatal loss support system I kept looking. Sorry this was so long, but if you're not happy...switch. There are good doctors out there.

Thank you for this -- I'm so sorry that you had to go through all that. I actually didn't really think about "interviewing" practices, but I love that idea. I would love to know how they would handle a "crazy" PgAL lady before I decided on a practice and I want to make sure that they can do good ultrasounds on site. My current practice didn't, so my first ultrasound looked "fine, maybe a little smaller than expected" so they sent me to a specialist for a dating ultrasound. Between those two appointments is when I miscarried. I think it would have been different if I knew from the first ultrasound that it didn't look great. Not easier per say, but i would have told fewer people and my husband would have been with me at that point.

sandc63 · August 2014

Warning living child mentioned.

I agree with PPs that you should look into a new dr if you aren't happy where you are (or just need a change). When I was pregnant with DD at my old practice, I felt belittled and talked down to and made to feel ridiculous in general when I asked questions. I researched other practices and interviewed new drs. I ended up finding one 30 minutes away that is completely worth the drive. I think that if a dr isn't open to being interviewed and can't handle normal questions from a person going through or hoping to go through pregnancy after a loss, you do not want to be their patient! Since I switched, my current doctor delivered my daughter, completed my surgery for endometriosis (he has expertise in this area), and now my d&c for my miscarriage, and took time to counsel me emotionally to make sure I didn't need more support/resources, and share his and his wife's experience with their three losses. The RN there was sweeter than anyone has been to me during the whole process, calling me on the weekends from her personal cell because she knew the office wouldn't call me until Monday and that Id be tortured without knowing what the tentative plan was for my treatment d&c etc. There are amazing providers out there. If you are wondering where to start in looking for a dr, I think the best people to ask are doulas or Bradley method instructors. These people deal with or hear first hand about obgyn drs on a regular basis and will give you their recommendations based on personal experience with drs knowledge, experience, kindness and open-mindedness. That's how I found my dr, I got the same recommendation from 10 different people. It might be a time consuming search but it is worth it. Good luck!!!!

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