Guys.. I think baby fever is going to kill me..

AshleyDehaven · July 2014

First i am CRAZY excited for all the expecting mommas out there. Like, SO excited. It's like all of a sudden the baby dust fairy is dumping heap loads on so many wonderful people and it's wonderful to see. So the joy there from me is genuine, 100%, enthusiasm. But here i am, with my 18 month old, and the plan was always for us to start trying right around now, and i can't. Even if it weren't for all the personal drama, and Thoren's therapeutic needs, just physically, a pregnancy would kill me right now. Until the hernia is fixed and the weight is gone, it's not a chance i can take. So we're talking about 3 years.. I should be having the bariatric surgery around christmas, and the hernia fixed at the same time, then 2 years of recovery time without a recurrence before they'll clear me to start TTC. I know it would be insane to have another on the way for us right now, i just feel a little.. Inadequate.. I have a sister-in-law and a cousin that are both due this winter, January, and February respectively, and i am over the moon for them.. But i worry about Thoren getting overlooked come birthday season, he already got nothing this year for his birthday from anyone but us, not that presents matter, but i don't want him to grow up thinking he's irrelevant and left out.. Ugh, i guess that is a totally separate issue though. Anyways, i just needed to whine. I would love to be TTC right now, and miss having a little squish around

ambmama · July 2014

Hugs mama. You're going through a lot and it's completely normal to feel how you do. We are 'benched' for 6-12 months so that I can get healthy so I understand. I really want a sibling for DS and another squishy baby, but after 2 losses it's obviously just not the time. I've got so many friends who I was pregnant with when I had DS getting ready to have their #2's that it's hard. The best advice I have is to make sure you do what you need to in order to be healthy for Thoren. You're a great mama and I know you will make sure he feels special!

OhBaby+2013 · July 2014

Hang in there mama! You are doing such a great job with T and to add in everything else, you're really a rock star. I know it's got to be hard, but think of it this way....you are going to get 3 amazing years with T. Think of all the fun stuff you are going to experience making memories with him. If I were younger we likely would have waited a bit so that I could have a bit more time to focus on DS. Big hugs and 3 years will fly by, I swear the last 2 years happened in a blink.

spainy17 · July 2014

I feel your pain. DH and I had already agreed not to try until DD was 2 and now he is saying he wants to wait another year (which I am fine with) and then "see" because "he thinks he is fine with just one" (which I am NOT fine with). I am totally great with waiting as long as I know we are having another and I certainly don't want to try right now but now that he is on the fence all of a sudden I am freaking out and really want one. If he decides we are one and done I might be heart broken. I understand since like you we didn;t have it easy but man I at least want the option of another. I am so happy for the women here that are pregs but it is hard. I am sorry momma that you have to wait but you have been such a good mommy for Thoren and you defintiely don't want to risk that. You aren't alone.

jobiann · July 2014

You are mostly certainly going through a lot and I know how you feel about the baby fever, I have it bad too but honestly I'm not sure we want to have another LO.

And I can understand how you feel to about Thoren not getting enough recognition. It's not really about the gifts...but it's about the fuss. Just remember, all he needs is the love and support most of all. That he will remember over any gifts!

ambmama · July 2014

Haha @kittynap, I'm totally down for a TTA check in. 'No, don't you dare let him do it!'

AshleyDehaven · July 2014

I think this is brilliant @kittynap and @ambmama lol

this decaf life · July 2014

Yes team TTA thread!

AshleyDehaven · July 2014

@kittynap - Thoren did that the day before last, didn't even give us a sign he needed to go then bam.. Crap everywhere. The floor, all over him, his blanket.. -_-

And on the topic of pregnancy, Thoren cracked a rib in utero, and my pelvis sustained a hairline fracture during labor. I couldn't walk more than 15 steps the entire last two months of my pregnancy with him i was in so much pain, and i couldn't lay on my sides or i'd risk displacing a hip (seriously), so pregnancy was no blissed out bubble gum experience for me. I hated the last trimester, lol. The idea of being PREGNANT again makes me wince, but the idea of having a little newborn makes my ovaries twitch..

AshleyDehaven · July 2014

kittynap said:

AshleyDehaven said:

@kittynap - Thoren did that the day before last, didn't even give us a sign he needed to go then bam.. Crap everywhere. The floor, all over him, his blanket.. -_-

And on the topic of pregnancy, Thoren cracked a rib in utero, and my pelvis sustained a hairline fracture during labor. I couldn't walk more than 15 steps the entire last two months of my pregnancy with him i was in so much pain, and i couldn't lay on my sides or i'd risk displacing a hip (seriously), so pregnancy was no blissed out bubble gum experience for me. I hated the last trimester, lol. The idea of being PREGNANT again makes me wince, but the idea of having a little newborn makes my ovaries twitch..

It's funny, I'm not really not that into the newborn stage. They're just so blobby. I much prefer the interactive toddler stage, you know, when they're not shitting on the floor.

I think a part of me yearns for it, because things were so much.. Easier. He was developing at or ahead of schedule up until about 12 months. We had no idea we would be where we are now 6 months later, so i think this nostalgic part of me idealizes the newborn phase because everything was perfect, and happy, and more carefree. It was hard, and scary, but it was typical hard and scary. Now i am explaining to my family who is dying to meet him, why they have to do so one at a time because more than that overwhelms him and he breaks down and cries into my chest or DH's shoulder for hours. I love my son, i love our life, and our routine works for us. Some days suck, but for the most part, we're happy. But sometimes i miss everything being.. Typical.. Does that sound horrible? Not to mention, SO MANY CUDDLES. As an infant DS was ALL about the cuddles, now, only when he is tired or sick, and i miss that a lot.

this decaf life · July 2014

DD is so much easier now that she's older. If I could birth another toddler I think I'd be more interested in having another one sooner.

URMySunshine77 · July 2014

I'm sorry that you cannot TTC as you had planned right now. Honestly I do want to get pregnant now but I'm scared about taking care of a two-year-old and newborn at the same time. The only reason that we are seriously TTC is because of my age (over 35). If I were younger, we would wait until he was three.

You sound like a great mom to Thoren. I hope that a BFP comes easy to you when the time is right. >:D<

spainy17 · July 2014

I think it is funny because we all had such different experiences. My baby fever is bad now but the baby stage for us was torture and that is literally holding me back from full fledged fever. I cannot even imagine wanting a newborn yet I know that has to happen to get a second kid.

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