Is this board really necessary??

gibs · January 2009

I know that giving birth after age 35 puts you into a higher risk category, but seriously.... having a child after 35 doesn't make you a freak at all! ?In fact, almost all of my friends are having at least one of their kids after age 35!!!

?I can see a board for having a kid after age 40, but after 35 is pretty normal, isn't it??

??

Temp159135562506975 · January 2009

i, for one, love to have a place i can post knowing my audience is not a bunch of 22 y/o girls who have no clue about life... it's not so much about pregnancy at my age, but just maturity and pregnancy together

NewMrs07 · January 2009

actually, this board was created at the request of most women on the TTC after 35 board, so it is necessary and we want it. i like that there's no drama and everyone is very mature, unlike many of the other boards on here.

Chrysallys · January 2009

Personally, it's nice being away from the kidlets every now and again.

desabean · January 2009

I'm not on here too often but I would agree that it is nice to have a place where the women have similar experiences in terms of risks and other aspects of pregnancy at 35 as well as being pregnant while you may be further along in a career or marriage than many other women on other boards. I certainly don't feel like a freak but I do think I am soooo different being pregnant at 36 than I would have been at 25 and it is nice to have other women who may feel similarly. Our perspectives on all of this are just a little different than someone 10+years younger.

sharrow · January 2009

I also really love this board. We can have intelligent discussions without the thread degrading into some hate-fest. I haven't seen a lot of trolls or MUD here either. People express opinions (for the most part), without being really rude.

I was just thinking of the post on bikini waxing below. I can't imagine how snarky that would have gotten on some of the other boards.

SFAug07 · January 2009

I agree that it doesn't make you a freak to have a baby after 35 (or after 40 for that matter), but it is nice to know there are women my age going through the same thing. When TTC, I found many doctors and nurses to be constantly commenting on maternal age and it really annoyed me.I am 37 and fitter than I have ever been in my life, so I resent the implication that maternal age will imply less health/ higher weight/ less fitness etc. I don't think this is the intention of this board at all.

stever · January 2009

Goldie_Locks_5:
i, for one, love to have a place i can post knowing my audience is not a bunch of 22 y/o girls who have no clue about life... it's not so much about pregnancy at my age, but just maturity and pregnancy together

Ditto. I don't mind the other boards, but when a 22 year old on 1st tri, who's dh is still in school, wonders why her family expresses reservations about them starting a family, I have to bite my tongue. Or my fingers. Or whatever.

iluvtom · January 2009

Many of us had been TTC for a long time and were on the TTC plus 35 board and we do not want to upset those who have not gotten a BFP. It took me 22 months and the support of these ladies and my friends have been wonderful.

htomeo · January 2009

::coming out of the lurking corner:: I am one of the worst with the drama on the Tri boards. But even I can see how this would be a nice place to get away from that and have conversations with those who are in a similar situation. It has to be nice to have this board.

ChristineNYC · January 2009

YES YES a thousand times YES!

I try to read the 2nd trimester board occasionally... it's like high school from some of the women. Today - I read *one* post. The poster asked a question about something that she honestly didn't know about. The first response SHOT her down for asking such a stupid question and saying "i feel like i'm on the 1st trimester boards, this question has been asked about 10 times this week!"

Cman. it was an honest question, not everyone reads PAGES into the next posts.. and she was shot down. so YES I adore having a place like this where no one is busy with the fan club. No one shoots anyone down, and everyone really does understand the concerns that we tend to face more often than a 22 yr old mom to be.

And iluvtom - my dearest cousin lives in Oceanside

Christine

robynlesley · January 2009

I, for one, am extremely grateful for this board. While I'm certainly not ancient at age 38, I feel that the women who post here better understand my situation and how I am feeling. There are issues that concern mature women more than younger ones.

As for the snarkiness, I do think that once a person gets to a certain point in life, they do not take offense as easily or enjoy slapping someone down. Of course that's not always the case, but I've found it to be so here.

Since most medical professionals consider women over 35 to have different needs in terms of fertility and pregnancy, I'm glad that the Bump has as well.

DebbieMc · January 2009

I love having this board. Knowing that there are woman my age that I can talk to is wonderful. I mostly lurk on the other boards because of the snarkiness.

cbidt*sgirl · January 2009

i won't go near BOTB or a tri board due to the snarkiness and the cliques on there. it is nice to have a place to express anxiety about my pregnancy, ask a question, or just obsess about the new baby with women who may have a more similar perspective to some a decade or more younger. i don't consider myself a freak for being AMA, most of my IRL friends are having kids in their 30's too. In my life, it's way less common to have kids in your 20's.

dk72 · January 2009

I think this is great. I agree, there's so much drama on some of the other boards. And not that there is anything 'freakish' about being over 35, but the issues we're dealing with can be different. Not just medically, but where we are in our lives. I only found the TTC after 35 board right before I got pregnant and thought it would be nice if there was a similar board once we WERE pregnant (at the time there was not).

mrsbrustobe · January 2009

I'm new here, but I have to say that this was the first board that looked at. As so many of the posters above have said, it's very nice to see honest, non-snarky comments and questions from peers that understand what you're going through.

I have to admit when I saw "elderly pregnancy" marked on my form at the dr's office I laughed so hard that I nearly peed my pants. I'm 35, for goodness sakes! Anyway, I really do like this board and feel that it's very worthwhile.

busybea · January 2009

I love this board, like all the other comments, it's just nice to know that you can ask an intelligent (or dumb) question and get an intelligent honest answer. For some of us, this is the first time we are pregnant and we are brand new at this and it's nice to get a bunch of different opinions from educated and adult ladies without having to "get shot down" by stupid responses/comments as mentioned above. I too, was "marked" as "late" pregnancy by my doc, but she is actually pretty cool and before I even got the chance to get offended, she explained she did that just so I could get more U/S and more testing that let's say a 20yr old would get...it reassured me somehow. I'm sure some feel the same way I do when I say that although i'm extremely excited to become a mom, i'm also terrified in the same way and although I do have plenty of girlfriends, they have their own lives with their own kids and I'm just glad I can "talk" to some of you about these things....so thank you ladies for all of us and from all of us for being just plain normal and sweet! Smile

JasonsMauiMama · January 2009

I enjoy the other boards, but I feel more at home here. I feel like an older sister on the other boards, and fortunately haven't been flamed for anything I've said. I do tend to be careful about what I post.

The best way I can explain it is that it's like the difference between work friends and real friends. Relationships at work can be filled with politics and gossip, and, as much as I love my work friends, I always have a bit of my guard up. Real friends, though, are the people I trust heart and soul.

Pesky · January 2009

Necessary? No. Desired? Yes. For the exact reasons GoldieLocks spelled out.

roaringrock · January 2009

of course! I certainly don't need advice (or thoughts) from a 23 year old concerning my decision to have an amnio.

and the drama? we don't have that here. now THAT is necessary.

gibs · January 2009

Great points! ? I really didn't mean to offend with my question. ?Thanks, everyone!

trixiebelden · January 2009

It is more common to have babies in your 30's where I live than in your 20's, so I do not feel like a freak. This is my second pregnancy and I don't have all of the questions that I did first time around, but it is nice to not have to deal with some of the immaturity on the tri boards.

wilberta2006 · January 2009

I don't know. The snarkiness on the tri boards can be pretty fun.

mnnative · January 2009

I totally agree with other posts for a number of reasons. Thankfully I have been lucky & not really had any infertility issues (on that part I don't relate to many of the women here) since it took less than a year amd no intervention to get PG.

But I am PG with 1st. Waiting to have kids for whatever the reason does give you a different perspective. I have been with my DH since mid 20's but waited to get married. I don't even look at other boards much, other than local ones, because I feel most comfortable here. Though I don't feel old at all 36, and many of my friends my age are having kids, my life is so different now than it was in my 20's. And I know that to many people that age I am "old". Here I feel like I have more in common with the women (other than just the fact that we are pregnant) than I would on other boards.

And since many women here are/have starting their families at an older age I feel their life experiences are more like mine than some one else having a 2,3,4th child in 30's that started families when they were younger. I'm sure there are women like that here too (and they offer us their own valuable experiences) it seems many more are women who came to the decision to have kids a bit later in life.

thatgirlang · January 2009

I just came to this board for the first time out of curiosity. This post is interesting. I bet it is nice to get away from the "kids!" I am 30 and pregnant with #2 so I don't always feel like I fit in on the other boards either. Makes me wish there was a board called "Pregant before 35 but mature." LOL.

dk72 · January 2009

I saw a post on I think the 2nd tri board the other day where someone was upset because she bought beer for her husband at the store and now that she's 21 they haven't carded her. Not to say anything bad about the thread because at that age it IS exciting to be carded. But it made me laugh and think....yes, this board is necessary.

trixiebelden · January 2009

After seeing the VFBB list on 2nd tri, I would have to say again that this board is a relief from all of that.

sharrow · January 2009

trixiebelden:
After seeing the VFBB list on 2nd tri, I would have to say again that this board is a relief from all of that.

Amen...

peeper72 · January 2009

Ditto what everyone else said.

I'm not a freak at 36 but my life circumstances, responsibilities, experience,and goals are dramatically different now than they were 10 years ago. I'm not here much but when I do stop in I can digest the posts in one sitting without the drama or extraneous commentary. I don't mind those things when I have the time to wade through it but that time is hard to come by.

PoundCake · January 2009

Ditto everyone else.

Babyluv09 · January 2009

I agree with the majority of the women who responded. I just realized this board existed this morning and am so glad I found it. I am 37 turing 38 this month and like to chat with women my own age going through the same as I. LOVE IT. THANKS THEBUMP GODS.

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