Stretching vagina for childbirth?

hellopartyof5 · July 2014

A friend was telling me that she would get her husband to use coconut oil and push down inside her vagina. It apparently helped with minimal tearing during childbirth. I thought it sounded a bit loopy, but I just did a quick google search and apparently it's an actual thing. Any STMs have experience with this? When did you start doing the "massages"? Am I insane for considering this? Lol

https://www.birth.com.au/preparing-for-birth/6-ways-to-reduce-tearing#.U9GBaim9Kc0

ebl2 · July 2014

I remember people talking about it on my last BMB but I never did it. Like you, I thought it did sound a little crazy. So I'm sorry I have no experience with if it helped or not. I didn't do the messages and got a second degree tear. Honestly, that sounds worse than what it really was. My doctor did a great job stitching me up and I had little discomfort while everything healed. Just my two cents.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

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bowlwoman · July 2014

Perineal massage. My OB said it was a great idea when I asked about it before DD1 was born. He said olive oil was the best lubricant for it, in his opinion. Coconut oil would work just as well, though. Just be sure to put a towel down first if you do it, as it can get messy.

DH and I just found some instructions online and did it a few times in the third trimester. I only tore a bit during delivery, so maybe it helped.

LaxMOM44 · July 2014

Ya it's called perineal massage we didn't do it, and I didn't tear. Maybe I just have a huge loose vagina naturally.

hellopartyof5 · July 2014

LaxMOM44 said:

Ya it's called perineal massage we didn't do it, and I didn't tear. Maybe I just have a huge loose vagina naturally.

Ha! It's not my fault I have a heavy flow and a widset vagina!

BankerBSN · July 2014

I have had a friend that did it once and said it was uncomfortable and stopped. I think my vag is loose enough.

AngelSong76 · July 2014

AJIrishMama said:
I remember a troll on my last BMB talking about how she was having DH fist her to stretch her out for delivery. It got quite interesting lol.

I didn't do anything special and probably won't this time around.

ETA: I had the same experience as @ebl2‌. Second degree tear that I never felt. I honestly don't think I would have known if they hadn't told me.

O12?

LadyRoarsome · July 2014

Haha, wtf. Who comes up with this shit?

racheldiaries · July 2014

Nope. I'm good.... :-O

Manateearmz · July 2014

I didn't do anything to help stretch me. I pushed for 2 1/2 hours gave birth to a 7lb baby and ended up with only a minimal internal tear requiring 1 stitch. I'm not too worried about stretching my vag out, either I'm elastic or my promiscuous 20's paid off.

lucymcgillicudy1010 · July 2014

This makes me think of that fisting thread a few years ago on ttgp. Anyone else?

AngelSong76 · July 2014

I remember a troll on my last BMB talking about how she was having DH fist her to stretch her out for delivery. It got quite interesting lol. I didn't do anything special and probably won't this time around. ETA: I had the same experience as @ebl2‌. Second degree tear that I never felt. I honestly don't think I would have known if they hadn't told me.

O12?
It was actually on Aug12 but she probably posted there too lol! She was also the one who posted about how her DHs penis was too big for her.

lol, crazy fisting troll clearly got around.

agsgrrl · July 2014

This thread is as fabulous as I was hoping it would be from the title! I don't think I want my guy down there fiddling around while I've got prego hemorrhoids. Honestly I hope he doesn't dare look near the area until there's a child halfway out. I don't know if thats an image I need him to have!

ambuchick · July 2014

I did it a little by myself I was a little to self conscious to do it with DH but I did it with the evening primrose oil. I also took evening primrose oil orally and vaginally from 36 wks on as well as red raspberry tea and I believe all of it is what helped give me my 2 hr and 46 min labor and I was a FTM then so I will be doing it again!

Cryssteen · July 2014

This is incredibly odd.

drpayne · July 2014

Nope nope nope. I've had 2 babies close to 9 lbs. Few stitches the first time. The second time the tear was so mild I didn't need stitches. No pre-stretching for me. And there's no science behind it.

AnonnAni · July 2014

I didn't do it with either kid. 1 stitch with DS and none with DD so hoping to be so lucky this time. *woooohoooo for loose vaginas*.... (SN the nurse actually said to me soon as my DD came out "oh your so good at birthing babies" all I could say was "B!tch did you just say I had a big vagina" needless to say DH was mortified lol)

MissMeegs · July 2014

chayshay1408 said:

When I was in labor with DS the nurse sat there giving me one of those massages. I didn't feel it obv but my ex was super weirded out.

The nurse did this to me too! I couldn't feel it but after I asked DH, "was the nurse fingering me repeatedly while I was pushing?" and he confirmed that she was indeed.

I had a second degree tear with a few stitches, but it wasn't that bad. However my taint area still does kind of hurt despite being all healed, but I chalk this up to getting pregnant again immediately. I bet if I wasn't pregnant, I wouldn't still be sore six months later.

I asked my OB if my vag was basically going to explode open like the reverse bear trap in the saw movies, giving birth again 11 months after the first time. She said it would not, and that she actually expected me to tear less this time, because I'm already all stretched out. I guess?

byrne15 · July 2014

ummm heck no.

I had an episiotomy with #1

rshamos · July 2014

I'm just going to spray a little Pam down there before birth.

AngelSong76 · July 2014

PugLife5869 said:

I remember a troll on my last BMB talking about how she was having DH fist her to stretch her out for delivery. It got quite interesting lol. I didn't do anything special and probably won't this time around. ETA: I had the same experience as @ebl2‌. Second degree tear that I never felt. I honestly don't think I would have known if they hadn't told me.
O12?
It was actually on Aug12 but she probably posted there too lol! She was also the one who posted about how her DHs penis was too big for her.
lol, crazy fisting troll clearly got around.

I'm pretty sure she made a stop at March 13 as well!

ETA: The bump is drunk and keeps showing these twice.

Heehee... go home Bump, you're drunk.

avonleaC · July 2014

rshamos said:
I'm just going to spray a little Pam down there before birth.

My thoughts exactly

marriedinaugust · July 2014

Our birthing class recommended perineal massage last time and my OB had been recommending it for years because of issues I had down there. It weirded me out so I never did it. I tore quite badly and ended up having to have surgery postpartum that has made everything much more comfortable since my last birth. Maybe I should have done it but hindsight is 20/20.

LaxMOM44 · July 2014

I'm just going to get a bigger vibrator

Cheekers2010 · July 2014

gradschoolmom1234 said:

I'm just going to spray a little Pam down there before birth.
My thoughts exactly
My ob said she slathers olive oil down there when it's time. I'm pretty sure she was serious...

she was serious. I've never seen an OB or MW who DIDN'T do this. It's a thing, yo.

Cheekers2010 · July 2014

I'm fairly certain that perineal massage is not evidence bases but I need to do some research. My brain isn't holding onto anything scientific lately. I figure if it makes you feel proactive, do it. If not, don't. The thing that is evidence based is that tearing is much better for you then getting an episiotomy.

bowlwoman · July 2014

chayshay1408 said:

I showed DH this discussion. He immediately got the coconut oil and said spread 'em. Apparently the idea of playing with my crotch for another 4 months is really exciting. He then offered to buy an industrial sized dildo to aid in the stretching.

LaxMOM44 said:

I'm just going to get a bigger vibrator

chayshay1408 That was pretty much DH's response too. He went and bought an industrial-sized bottle of olive oil.

LaxMOM44 DH would totally be on board with that too. :P

agsgrrl · July 2014

Cheekers2010 said:
I'm fairly certain that perineal massage is not evidence bases but I need to do some research. My brain isn't holding onto anything scientific lately. I figure if it makes you feel proactive, do it. If not, don't. The thing that is evidence based is that tearing is much better for you then getting an episiotomy.

See everyone I've talked to about the episiotomy/vs tearing thing looks at me like I'm a crazy hippie or an idiot FTM

rshamos · July 2014

MissChristineMarie said:

Like Amy Poehler says in "Baby Mama", I think right before the baby comes out, I will just spray a little Pam down there.

ETA: Awww man! Someone said it before me! **lame**

Cheekers2010 · July 2014

agsgrrl said:

I'm fairly certain that perineal massage is not evidence bases but I need to do some research. My brain isn't holding onto anything scientific lately. I figure if it makes you feel proactive, do it. If not, don't. The thing that is evidence based is that tearing is much better for you then getting an episiotomy.
See everyone I've talked to about the episiotomy/vs tearing thing looks at me like I'm a crazy hippie or an idiot FTM

crazy! There's plenty of supporting evidence for this.

saltsandwater · July 2014

My DH read about it in a book and is very gung ho about massaging my taint in the name of science. It hasn't happened yet, but it's on his to do list. *shrug*

GradSchoolPrincess · July 2014

It's not the weirdest thing I've heard of to prepare for birth, and ive heard it from multiple sources: my OB, birthing books, birth class and other moms. I haven't done a search for peer reviewed articles, but I think it might be worth a go. Anything that me helps me slip this watermelon out of the keyhole.

Abeja1226 · July 2014

How did you ladies with 2nd degree tears not feel anything?! I had no tears the first time, awesome. Second time my son was huge and I had a 2nd degree tear. It was terrible, I felt it, the recovery was awful, sitting down was awful, pooping was awful etc etc. I'm going to look into this. Tbh idk if any oil and massage will help when you birth big babies (which apparently I do, I didn't tear the first time because my DD was a preemie but still 5 lbs 11 oz at 35 weeks!).

Abeja1226 · July 2014

I should add it was only awful for a few days, maybe 5-7 post birth. Not weeks long so I guess it's not that bad. I'm also going to start stool softeners before delivery, learned that the hard time last time.

LinziLoo09 · July 2014

After that frightening labor story thread a few months ago, I will be taking whatever weird precautions I may need to in order to at all possibly avoid some of the before-mentioned labor and delivery horrors. Massaging my cooch with olive oil? Sure, what can it hurt to have a silky smooth and hopefully stretchy vag? Oh, and that thread also lead to me google "how to avoid pooping during labor"...words I thought I'd never type.

calibeargirl · July 2014

I didn't do this with my first and won't with my second! It sounds weird and gross! I pushed for 15 minutes with my first baby & needed one stitch!

your body knows what its doing without all the weird stuff!

jessinaround · July 2014

My midwife massaged the area between pushes to help it stretch. I barely tore and required no stitches.

I also took evening primrose oil orally and vaginally from 36 weeks on and drank Earth Mama Angel Baby 3rd trimester tea daily. My water broke on my due date and everything went smoothly. I will being doing it all that over again.

krystrist2014 · July 2014

I was wondering about this too since I've heard about it and read about it in pregnancy books / online. Glad you asked the question and glad so many women responded

Thanks Ladies!

Abeja1226 · July 2014

LadyThrice said:

Cheekers2010 said:

agsgrrl said:

Cheekers2010 said:
I'm fairly certain that perineal massage is not evidence bases but I need to do some research. My brain isn't holding onto anything scientific lately. I figure if it makes you feel proactive, do it. If not, don't. The thing that is evidence based is that tearing is much better for you then getting an episiotomy.
See everyone I've talked to about the episiotomy/vs tearing thing looks at me like I'm a crazy hippie or an idiot FTM

crazy! There's plenty of supporting evidence for this.

I didn't know you could choose one way or the other! Sometimes I feel so dumb at this whole pregnancy-will-be-taking-care-of-another-human-being-soon thing.

So, from a FTM, do docs generally ask you if you want an episiotomy or if you want to tear naturally?

The doctors I know would never do an episiotomy for the hell of it. It's only when it's medically necessary I.e. The baby is not coming out.

lynseyadamson · July 2014

If never heard if this till now and although I probably won't try it, each to their own! I had an episiotomy with DS even though he was tiny (6lb and I was induced at 37 weeks) he got his head stuck. He had his head facing sideways with the cord round his neck. I was totally oblivious (gas and air is amazing stuff - it's all I had!) and kept yelling "it's a stubborn bugger this one!" Much to OHs and the midwifes amusement. I don't recall the doctors rushing in as things got scary and one telling me I needed the episiotomy. oH says it's a good job as it looked god awful as she numbed my bits and sliced it. First I knew was when the local wore off and I was yelling at her "what the fuck are you doing?!!!" As she stitched me up. I wish I could have been filmed during my labour and birth as apparently aside from the scariness that he was stuck and I needed a ventouse delivery as well as sliced, it was comical. I was away with the fairies! X

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