Embarrassing Story

lilqt3929 · July 2014

In an effort to make some more reading material, I thought I'd start an Embarrassing Story thread. So air out one of the most embarrassing things that's happened to you, new or old. We could all use a good laugh now and then!

lilqt3929 · July 2014

I hope mine is not TMI. Anyways, when I was younger and had just started to get my period I had no clue how to use tampons. Even reading the directions did not help, I mean I clearly saw how you were supposed to use them but I just couldn't wrap my mind around putting something in your body like that. I also did not have that conversation with my Mom or anyone else, at that time I was embarrassed to talk about it.

One day I went to a beach with my Mom, my friend and her Mom and I had just started on my period so I thought I'd "try" to use a tampon since I'd be in a bathing suit. Well let's just say since I didn't put it in properly, or actually not at all, it fell out of my bathing suit bottoms as I was lifting my leg over this little wooden fence, right in front of everyone! My friends Mom quickly got a tissue out of her purse and handed it to me so that I could pick it up off the ground. Every summer I think about this story when I have to be in a bathing suit while having my period. It haunts me but at the same time I get a good chuckle out of it!

ETA : make paragraphs

smilingeyes2308 · July 2014

@CurlingRocks LOL! "You have Gina" hahaha so cute

bermybabe68 · July 2014

I don't have a good one of my own so I'll tell two of my brothers ex girlfriend that I thought were hysterical. The first one, she was in the locker room before or after gym class getting changed. The fire alarm went of so all the girls threw on their clothes really fast and ran out to the school field (the schools assembly area). Turns out there was an (unused) maxi pad stuck to her back and the whole school saw. The other, she was 19 or so and just lost a LOT of weight. She decided to show off her sexy self in a black mini skirt and go shopping at the mall. She was looking at makeup when a lady came up and tapped her on the arm and then dropped her eyes to Kyms lower half. Kym look down at herself and saw her entire mini skirt has rolled up around her waist! She literally was walking around in a top and undies for who knows how long.

jlp0528 · July 2014

I have a few, mostly about me falling. Here are the two best...

1. I used to live and work downtown in Pittsburgh. I happened to literally live half a block from my work and would push it till the last minute to get there on time. This being said I was speed walking PAST my work to try and get Starbucks before I went in and my heel got stuck in a divot in the sidewalk and my body kept going but my leg was stuck and my bag flew and scattered and I fell down into a puddle. A younger teenage boy if you will came running up to me and said, "ma'am, ma'-am are you alright?" As he lifted me up off the ground and I was only like 23 or 24 at the time and I cried immediately and was so embarrassed all I could say was, "I'M NOT A MA'AM! I'm not even 25!!" And proceeded to run to Starbucks without even thanking him like a huge jerk.

smilingeyes2308 · July 2014

It's not that bad but for me, it was.

I was so excited to go to Best Buy to get my H the Kinect & a few games for his Xbox as a surprise (this was over a year ago) and I was walking super fast and I guess I didn't lift my foot up high enough to clear the curb so I tripped on the front of my flip flop. I fell super. slow. motion. I did one of those "I'm going to fall, try to run it off, never mind, I can't because my body is diving forward" type of maneuvers. It was so embarrassing. Also, I guess I figured if I just laid there, acting like I was hurt, it would make it go away? People started rushing up to me to ask if I need help. Yeah. I realize I made it 10x worse for myself in that moment.

Fml.

jlp0528 · July 2014

2. The second story also involves me falling in downtown Pittsburgh. At the time I didn't live downtown but worked there and I was basically sprinting in the rain to catch a bus to get home. Well I slipped on a grate and went flying directly into the corner of the street like I was sliding into a home base and I ran into this very large woman stepping up onto the curb at that exact moment. I took her ass out and she was on top of me, her shirt had rolled up over her head exposing her stomach and literally about 100 people witnessed this as there was a bus next to as at a red light and all these commuters waiting for buses.

These 2 guys picked her up off of me and then helped me up and asked if I was alright. All I could say was, "I hurt my butt." And then ran across the street to exit said embarrassing scenario and also catch my bus. I almost got hit by a car, never apologized and the proceeded to make it to my bus just in time. I get on soaking wet, sit down and then laugh my head off at how ridiculous that all was as strangers looked at me as if I were crazy. I literally laughed so hard I cried. Then I cried cause I was hurting.... Only me.

smilingeyes2308 · July 2014

lindszachary said:

I have two. The first one was in middle school in 6th grade. It was my third or fourth period and I had forgotten an extra pad. I was too scared to go to the nurse to ask for one so I thought I could use toilet paper until I got home (had an hour left of school). After school let out I was talking to some friends, and another girl came up behind me and pulled the toilet paper out of my pants. Apparently, some had been sticking out of my pants.

TMI alert. I'm not going into details, but due to H handling me in a weird way, I ended up having a loud queef in the middle of sex on Sunday. That was my first queef ever and H wouldnt stop laughing at me.

Is it wrong that I imagined a queef post only coming from you? I mean that in the nicest way possible.

blond1230 · July 2014

I once failed a driving road test because I put my hair in a pony tail in the middle of it. We were at a red light and I wanted it out of my face. Automatic failure because I took my hands off the wheel. Had to go into school and explain to everyone why I failed.

jackdaniels13 · July 2014

Back in the day I used to do those Passion Party things for women. I would get shipment's in all the time in huge boxes with foam things and during Christmas I figured I could use some of them for gifts. I had bought my at the time boyfriends mother a set of 3 containers for like sugar, flour etc and they were glass. I put them in the big box with all the little popcorn foam things and headed to their house. So fast forward to ALL of us around the Christmas tree opening gifts and I see her pull out a tiny bottle of something and she could not read it (didn't have her glasses next to her) and she just put it on the cabinet with her jars. I walk over there only to find I had left a bottle of LUBE in her gift. Yeah I gave my future MIL lube called "Good Head" for XMAS!!! My SIL saw it and was dying laughing and I told her I would kill her if she ever told. I threw it in my purse and told DH we would have to break up b/c how could I ever face her again. Til this day I've never told her what I did but OMFG was I mortified!

jackdaniels13 · July 2014

I don't think she was trying to start shit, maybe just the way you read it.

smilingeyes2308 · July 2014

jackdaniels13 said:

I don't think she was trying to start shit, maybe just the way you read it.

This. Wasn't trying to start shit st all. Damn.

lilqt3929 · July 2014

Can I just say, I am loving all these stories. LOL

jackdaniels13 · July 2014

triplea598 said:

And omg @jackdaniels13‌ I'm glad she didn't find out, lol.

And I know! I'm sitting here thinking who cares about a twat fart I gave LUBE to my MIL!!!!

Meganbryn · July 2014

I was almost 9 months pregnant when I went for a hair cut. Well after I go to pay and their machine is down. So I walked over to the gas station, which is right on across from the hair salon on the same side of the street. As I'm walking back instead of going around and walking on the curb I take the little short cut which you have to step up and over this cement landing ( hard to picture unless you have seen it ) Well my balance was shit and I ended up falling forward over on it as I was stepping onto it. Cash went flying I skinned my palm and knees. Two ladies who witnessed it came running to help me up and make sure I was okay. Everyone from the salon witnessed it. I walked in there to pay with bloody ripped in half bills. I was so embarressed. At least baby was okay though!
I once fell down a flight of concrete stairs when I was drinking too. The doctor told me it was a good thing I was so intoxicated because I was like a rag doll going down them. Otherwise I would have had some broken bones. I'm general pretty clumsy. Its safe to say that walking isn't my forte.

smilingeyes2308 · July 2014

@jackdaniels13‌ hahaha, wow. I'm glad she didn't find out. I'm not even sure if my MIL would care tbh. Last night, my H was fscetiming with his parents and him and his Dad were talking about how my H went to school with this girl that knew how to smoke a cig with her vagina and shoot ping pong balls out of it. Such talent. How they got on that topic? I have no idea. His mom didn't seem to care though.

smilingeyes2308 · July 2014

And thank you @triplea598‌! You're such a sweetheart! I definitely didn't intend to insult.

krose0713 · July 2014

When I was maybe 21, my friend had set me up with a guy. We were out on our date, and I went to get into his truck. He had opened to door for me, and I climbed into the truck and sat down, but then somehow fell out of the truck literally onto his feet. I still have no idea how I ended up falling out. He just stood there and said "wow, that's embarrassing." The date totally sucked and he was an asshat, so by the end of the night I couldn't have cared less.

AlejandraN2 · July 2014

Argh I have so many falling stories, I'm not even embarrassed by falling in public anymore. So I won't go there.

So i'll give you two others.

1. When I was in high school, we wore uniforms; ugly pleated gray skirts and white button down shirts with maybe a blue sweater if it got cold (it rarely did). Well one day i guess my pad leaked, and it leaked all over the seat. So i had a big red blotch on my gray skirt and on the chair. I got up and my best friend who sat behind me smacked me back down and told me. So i ended up wrapping a sweater around my waist, going to the school's phone booth and calling my mom to bring me a change of clothes. And um... i never went back for that chair.

2. My first serious bf and always used to joke about "purtus" (colloquial greek term for farts), and how mine were silent but deadly. In all honestly i never felt comfortable doing that in front of him and i took pride in the fact that my purtus were neither stinky or loud. Well one time we were joking and i was like oh oh here's one coming thinking it's another silent one. Well it was one of the loudest ones i ever did and it stunk up the room...Needless to say my face was horrified and he couldn't stop laughing.

munchkinsmama · July 2014

Meganbryn said:

I once fell down a flight of concrete stairs when I was drinking too. The doctor told me it was a good thing I was so intoxicated because I was like a rag doll going down them. Otherwise I would have had some broken bones. I'm general pretty clumsy. Its safe to say that walking isn't my forte.

I did this exact same thing, I still don't know how i didn't break anything!

My most embarrassing mommy story happened when DS was 3 months old. My lil guy has always pooped 3+ times a day and usually pretty stinky. We were out Christmas shopping and I smelled something awful as we were waiting to pay the cashier. I went to the closet rest room, of course the changing table is out in the open, I hoist him up on the changing table and start to pull down his pants, only to uncover the worst poopplosion he has ever had. He's all smiling and giggling as I frantically try to devise a plan. I grabbed an extra disposable changing table pad and threw in on the floor, his pants were beyond saving so i threw them on the pad on the floor (there was no garbage in arms reach) as i pull off his onsie he grabs it, gets poop on his hands and head. I realize no amount of wipes (not that i had enough) will help. I make the decision to put him in the sink to rinse him down. Of course the sinks are at the other end of the bathroom. BTW it's a Saturday 2 weeks before Christmas and the bathroom has a line, as people come in they are commenting on an awful smell, I admit it is coming from my child but they all seem to stare at me in disbelief something so tiny can smell so bad. As i carry my tiny baby across the bathroom butt naked with my arms all the way extended and head to a public bathroom sink, I vow to never judge a new mother again. All said and done he had a great time in the sink, I dried him off with hand towels and changed him, put on his extra set of clothes and finished shopping. I can still hear those women smiling and saying "ohh no child, that little one couldn't have caused such a smell." I can't wait to tell his future wife this story

Burrberrymum · July 2014

I typed this all out last night in long form but the app closed due to maintenance right before I could post. So in short form... New Year's Eve one year I was realllllllly into this guy from work and we got tickets to this really classy loft bar, it was all inclusive drinks so when I was walking up to the bar to grab both of our drinks he was right behind me and I turned around and accidentally did a pivot thing on my heels. The floors were wet and slippery so I twisted my ankle really bad, fell backwards hit my head off the bar and one shoe flew off. Both drinks landed on me and I was sooo embarrassed. When he helped me up I couldn't even walk on that one foot so he had to help me limp to get my coat 2 floors down and help me get into a cab. I missed the countdown and spent the rest of the night alone in my hotel room because he went back to the bar.

jackdaniels13 · July 2014

Burrberrymum said:

I typed this all out last night in long form but the app closed due to maintenance right before I could post. So in short form... New Year's Eve one year I was realllllllly into this guy from work and we got tickets to this really classy loft bar, it was all inclusive drinks so when I was walking up to the bar to grab both of our drinks he was right behind me and I turned around and accidentally did a pivot thing on my heels. The floors were wet and slippery so I twisted my ankle really bad, fell backwards hit my head off the bar and one shoe flew off. Both drinks landed on me and I was sooo embarrassed. When he helped me up I couldn't even walk on that one foot so he had to help me limp to get my coat 2 floors down and help me get into a cab. I missed the countdown and spent the rest of the night alone in my hotel room because he went back to the bar.

Sounds like you dodged a bullet not ending up with that douche canoe! I can't believe he just left you by yourself for NYE. I hope you had an awesome NYE the following year.

jlp0528 · July 2014

LOL @jenny5o5‌ at farting with your headphones on! I'm so glad you're back, I've missed ya!

UpsideDownFrown · July 2014

I peed my pants on an 8th grade field trip. We were in Washington DC at Arlington national cemetery, it was april, chilly and rainy. I had to pee soooo freaking bad and of course there are very few bathrooms. We ended up at the tomb of the unknown soldier (I think, I was so preoccupied with having to go to the bathroom) anyway they were doing the changing of the guard. This is very formal and you're supposed to be very quiet and respectful but there I am doing the pee pee dance. I told the chaperone who was trying wothout luck to find me a place. Finally she said we could just make our way back to the tour bus but it was too late, I peed. Thank god nobody seemed to notice, I have no idea how!

smilingeyes2308 · July 2014

@CurlingRocks - aww! I think that's sweet

Burrberrymum · July 2014

jackdaniels13 said:

Burrberrymum said:

I typed this all out last night in long form but the app closed due to maintenance right before I could post. So in short form... New Year's Eve one year I was realllllllly into this guy from work and we got tickets to this really classy loft bar, it was all inclusive drinks so when I was walking up to the bar to grab both of our drinks he was right behind me and I turned around and accidentally did a pivot thing on my heels. The floors were wet and slippery so I twisted my ankle really bad, fell backwards hit my head off the bar and one shoe flew off. Both drinks landed on me and I was sooo embarrassed. When he helped me up I couldn't even walk on that one foot so he had to help me limp to get my coat 2 floors down and help me get into a cab. I missed the countdown and spent the rest of the night alone in my hotel room because he went back to the bar.

Sounds like you dodged a bullet not ending up with that douche canoe! I can't believe he just left you by yourself for NYE. I hope you had an awesome NYE the following year.

I definitely did dodge a bullet!! To be honest I wasn't even surprised he left me there.. I'm kind of glad he did because if he stayed I'm sure the only reason would have been to try and sleep with me, which wasn't going to happen.

To top it all off he was actually mad at me the next day! Like it was my fault I almost broke my ankle, it was literally so swollen the next day I was nearly in tears trying to make my way out of the hotel, if anyone should have been mad it should have been me for wasting at least 350$ to sit alone in a hotel room.

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