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STM- guilty feelings for wanting another?

littledaisieslittledaisies member
in Babies on the Brain
My H and I are planning to TTC in the next few months. We have one child, a 14 month old son.  My husband and I both want a big family (3 or 4 kids) and we would like them closer in age.  This first year has been much more than I expected but in a good way and it  made me excited to have more. Now that we are seriously thinking about having more, my excitement has been fading and I'm feeling guilty. I know these are ridiculous questions but I can't get them out of my head, will I be able to love another child like my first? Will I have time for both? Will my son feel neglected? I'm sure these are normal feelings but I'm wondering how STM's dealt with it.  Did you're feelings change once you were pregnant or after you had your baby?

My son loves being with other kids. He lights up as soon as he sees other children. Of course this might not be the case when it's his sibliing but I try to focus that inside of the negative thoughts. 
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Re: STM- guilty feelings for wanting another?

  • Monicagail1Monicagail1 member
    I think that's a natural feeling. I was gung-ho to have our second, and it wasn't until I was in the dregs of m/s and exhaustion that I started freaking out about being able to care for and love a second baby, lol. But it worked out, they are each unique little individuals that I love and appreciate on their own, and as sisters :)
    Love: 8.10.99
    Marriage: 12.18.04
    DD1: 5.19.10
    DD2: 4.11.12
    #3 EDD 4.23.16

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  • sweetsyrupsweetsyrup member
    I'm having the same questions! I don't have any suggestions, but from what my friends with more then one child have said, it's natural to feel that way.
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  • littledaisieslittledaisies member
    Thanks everyone. I feel a little better knowing it's normal. I know I will love any other children we have but it's hard getting over that guilty feeling. 
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  • ASmallWonderASmallWonder member
    I think most people have that fear and I've yet to hear of someone not loving their second as much. The love grows. The time not so much but you make it work. Your child may struggle at first but he won't be neglected so you will teach him about not acting as though he is :)
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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