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Restrictions

chicagobride_07chicagobride_07 member
in Third-Party Reproduction
Did any of you have restrictions in your donor contracts? We found the perfect donor and she is ready to start as soon as AF comes. She meets all of our requirements, however, insists that any left over embryos from this cycle be either frozen or destroyed. She specifically restricts donation to another couple or to research. We did not have this with donor # 1, so I am wondering if this is common. We want one more child. I've lost hope that it will be as simple as one transfer to get there based on past history, but if we did have any embryos leftover we were planning on donating them. It's really hard to think of destroying them, and we can't afford to keep them frozen forever at $800 a year. What to do!

image
DOR and AMA
2/12-5/12: 4 IUI cycles = all BFN;
7/12: DE IVF # 1 (with ICSI)- 20R, 16M, 14F, 5DT of 2 blasts; 6 frosties = BFN;
Lupus anticoagulant initially high, then found to be normal on hematology consult;
Follow up testing in September all clear;
Started synthroid for "high normal" TSH;
FET # 1- late October 2012- BFP on FRER; beta # 1- 21(low), beta # 2- 48 (still low), beta # 3- 132, beta # 4- 1,293; beta # 5- 5,606; last beta- over 100,000. First u/s 11/21- heard heartbeat
12/12- Officially an OB patient!
Level 2 ultrasound at 20 weeks shows vasa previa and VCI
Referral to MFM and mandatory c section for delivery
Beautiful baby girl born at 34 weeks
Finally home after 15 day NICU stay!
Trying for sibling: FET # 2- May 2014; beta 5/31, BFN
FET #3, early July 2014; beta 7/14, BFN
DE IVF # 2- August 2014; 14R, 13M, 11F, 5dt of 2 blasts (3 AA), 5 frosties = BFN
FET #4- December 2014, yet another BFN

Dr. KK work up shows borderline uterine blood flow, elevated NK cells, and MTHFR mutation (homozygous for c677t)

Added baby aspirin, prednisone, supplements, Metanx, and intralipids

Switched to large clinic for final attempt; had endometrial receptivity testing in January; FET March 2015 = yet another BFN

Likely OAD- NBC

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Re: Restrictions

  • datingbettyboopdatingbettyboop member
    No restrictions with our donor. Could you counter somehow with a timeline? Technically once she has had the eggs retrieved they are no longer hers. Wish I could be of more help.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    edited July 2014
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  • brooklynesquebrooklynesque member
    edited July 2014
    Donors are free to require that this restriction be in the contract (though I'm not sure how enforceable it is).*  This was a real item of negotiation in my donor contract and we finally convinced her to let us donate to another couple, with some restrictions.  If we wouldn't have been allowed to donate it would have been a no-go, despite the fact that we loved the donor and finding yet another one would have been really painful.

    *Even if this provision weren't enforceable I would never pretend to agree to something I didn't intend to abide by in a donor contract -- it's bad faith and does not respect the donor.  
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  • ArgyleBrideArgyleBride member
    I don't think that's fair, @JimBobCooter You have to remember that while IPs get to choose a donor, and choose based on maybe a little or maybe a lot of information on her, donors often get essentially no say or information on who is choosing them, and we rarely learn even close to as much about you as you do about us.  If this donor has moral qualms with research or is worried about the embryos going to multiple families, it is totally fair for her to donate only to people who either share her beliefs or are willing to respect them.  

    Yes, once we donate they're your eggs, but this negotiation is happening before the donation.  It's not like she's blindsiding the OP.
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  • ArgyleBrideArgyleBride member
    To be fair, what you're describing is a failure of the clinic or agency, not the donor.  Presumably her preference didn't suddenly surface.  The clinic/agency are responsible for getting that info to you when it is relevant, not the donor (unless it's a known donor or other special case). 
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  • ArgyleBrideArgyleBride member
    Yes, I definitely agree that it is sloppy and could cause a lot of distress that could be easily avoided upfront.  My disagreement was only with it being boundary-crossing on the donor's part.

    Sorry for derailing things a bit, OP.  Did you already pay for medical for the donor etc?  An option I vaguely remember is transferring remaining embryos at a time in the cycle when they couldn't implant.  This feels better to some couples than outright discarding.  I hope you find a good solution that works for you.  Maybe you can negotiate, like Brooklynesque? 
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  • chicagobride_07chicagobride_07 member
    Thanks, ladies, for all the opinions and advice. Yes, we are working through this with a lawyer and hopefully can come to an agreeable solution for all soon. That is an interesting option, argyle, transferring them when they wouldn't be likely to implant. I am going to run that by my RE. I know that this is all hypothetical now (and given my last two failures, I am starting to question if this would be successful at all), but I really appreciate you ladies taking the time to chime in.

    image
    DOR and AMA
    2/12-5/12: 4 IUI cycles = all BFN;
    7/12: DE IVF # 1 (with ICSI)- 20R, 16M, 14F, 5DT of 2 blasts; 6 frosties = BFN;
    Lupus anticoagulant initially high, then found to be normal on hematology consult;
    Follow up testing in September all clear;
    Started synthroid for "high normal" TSH;
    FET # 1- late October 2012- BFP on FRER; beta # 1- 21(low), beta # 2- 48 (still low), beta # 3- 132, beta # 4- 1,293; beta # 5- 5,606; last beta- over 100,000. First u/s 11/21- heard heartbeat
    12/12- Officially an OB patient!
    Level 2 ultrasound at 20 weeks shows vasa previa and VCI
    Referral to MFM and mandatory c section for delivery
    Beautiful baby girl born at 34 weeks
    Finally home after 15 day NICU stay!
    Trying for sibling: FET # 2- May 2014; beta 5/31, BFN
    FET #3, early July 2014; beta 7/14, BFN
    DE IVF # 2- August 2014; 14R, 13M, 11F, 5dt of 2 blasts (3 AA), 5 frosties = BFN
    FET #4- December 2014, yet another BFN

    Dr. KK work up shows borderline uterine blood flow, elevated NK cells, and MTHFR mutation (homozygous for c677t)

    Added baby aspirin, prednisone, supplements, Metanx, and intralipids

    Switched to large clinic for final attempt; had endometrial receptivity testing in January; FET March 2015 = yet another BFN

    Likely OAD- NBC

    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
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