Let's talk libido

babybarnes87 · July 2014

I miss mine! I'm 15 weeks PP and we tried having sex today. It was a no-go for me. Too much burning. Granted, the baby started crying and the conditions were definitely not ideal.

Any STM's out there want to share when your sex drive came back? These BF hormones are a bitch! Am I doomed until I wean LO?

Also, to any of you who are having amazing sex right now: I have nothing but hate and jealousy towards you

Guess we'll continue with lube and a couple glasses of wine from here on out. At least I tried, right?

RedDawnsRevenge · July 2014

Porn. But my DH does not believe in foreplay and never has.

ambarnett1 · July 2014

Why no foreplay? That's can be the best part.

jenskurn · July 2014

Not like I'm having all the sex, but I find if I kinda force myself (that sounds bad) I always end up really enjoying it.

Bluebird2318 · July 2014

RedDawnsRevenge said:

Porn. But my DH does not believe in foreplay and never has.

Tell him blow jobs are against your religion.

RedDawnsRevenge · July 2014

Bluebird2318 said:

RedDawnsRevenge said:

Porn. But my DH does not believe in foreplay and never has.

Tell him blow jobs are against your religion.

They are.

Bluebird2318 · July 2014

babybarnes87 said:

I miss mine! I'm 15 weeks PP and we tried having sex today. It was a no-go for me. Too much burning. Granted, the baby started crying and the conditions were definitely not ideal. Any STM's out there want to share when your sex drive came back? These BF hormones are a bitch! Am I doomed until I wean LO? Also, to any of you who are having amazing sex right now: I have nothing but hate and jealousy towards you Guess we'll continue with lube and a couple glasses of wine from here on out. At least I tried, right?

I'll let you know when that happens. X_X

Rogue237 · July 2014

RedDawnsRevenge said:

Porn. But my DH does not believe in foreplay and never has.

I didn't realize that foreplay was a belief. I second what @Bluebird2318 said.

Bluebird2318 · July 2014

RedDawnsRevenge said:

RedDawnsRevenge said:

Porn. But my DH does not believe in foreplay and never has.

Tell him blow jobs are against your religion.
They are.

Truly? In that case there's always putting him on dish duty, diaper duty, or laundry duty.

Serenla · July 2014

Sex?

Elf2718 · July 2014

I want it but it hurts.sometimes. Damn.

babylove4414 · July 2014

Blow job is against religion but porn isn't?

RedDawnsRevenge · July 2014

babylove4414 said:
Blow job is against religion but porn isn't?

Amish porn
:P

nicole mackenzie · July 2014

FTM... Also with a DH who is lacking in the foreplay department.

I normally have a higher libido than him but since birth I'm either uninterested, dry/it hurts, or baby needs me.

This had actually forced DH to do more foreplay... I'm hoping that sticks.

I'm 13weeks pp btw

WifeofaComposer · July 2014

With my first, I actually suffered from Sexual Aversion Disorder (diagnosed when Skippy was 2), but it was a result of complications from the Mirena I had put in at 6wpp. I was in therapy for a year. I wasn't in a relationship at the time so it wasn't a huge deal, but I was struggling with regular adult contact - I couldn't even hug my parents - it was so weird. Within 4 months of going to therapy, I was able to get intimate with a guy I had been seeing. He was so wonderfully patient with me, and he's still one of my best friends, we just didn't have that "click". My husband also stayed patient with me, and once I reached my full comfort level with him, we've always had amazing sex. With this baby, I didn't have any PP anxiety, and we started having sex again at 5wpp. It feels great every time, and we manage to do it 2-3 times per week, which (I think) is pretty good for having a 3-month-old and a 7-year-old who finds reasons to wander around the house 3 hours after he's sent to bed...

juniper75 · July 2014

My DH skips foreplay too - its very sad.

Still that isn't what's stopping me. With 2U2 it hasn't been that long since I had to get back on the horse again after DD1. I remember too much what that was like to jump right back in again. I know it gets better but it really wasn't fun in the beginning. Never mind the discomfort and burning, the first two times we did it my bladder let go during without me even knowing. DH didn't really even notice but it was pretty humiliating all the same....

AcaAwkward · July 2014

My libido is horrible and it was with DD as well -- BFing makes me super duper dry and just generally not in the mood. I do kind of force myself just to be close to DH and because I know it's important to him.

But he also believes in foreplay...

ambarnett1 · July 2014

I guess i'm one of the few that's sex life is better now then before.

Serenla · July 2014

Look all of you ladies that have SOs who don't like foreplay need to go on a sex strike until they become believers!

edoliesmom · July 2014

Serenla said:
Look all of you ladies that have SOs who don't like foreplay need to go on a sex strike until they become believers!

Yes. My husband would not be getting sex if he refused foreplay. I've only ever been with 2 men, but they loved foreplay just as much as I did.

RedDawnsRevenge · July 2014

@serenla we've been married 11years. DH was deployed for 3 years of that. The man has no issues with using his hand.

@Jessieann1020‌ there was a study done about what men find sexy. Well what is sexy depends on your culture. So the rare glimpse of a ladies ankles is supposed to be very erotic to Amish men (according to the writer/researchers). It became a big inside joke here. But I've met others who know about the "Amish porn"

babybarnes87 · July 2014

I should say we do foreplay and DH is really supportive and patient. I just hate not feeling like myself. Dried up and dull! But luckily we can both make each other happy other ways. I know he misses sex. I do too, but I'm just not interested.

babybarnes87 · July 2014

Thank for your responses. Some of them really crack me up! Glad I'm not alone.

Abcollins57 · July 2014

ambarnett1 said:
I guess i'm one of the few that's sex life is better now then before.

Nope, not alone. My hormones kicked into overdrive and I wear poor hubby out. Probably won't have sex for a year once they straighten out.

allyandmike24 · July 2014

I think the problem right now is the tiredness is overriding any libido for both DH and I. He's working 12 hour days on a huge project and I'm home with the baby and trying to get all of my curriculum ready for September. By the end of the day, we're cooked and just zonk out in front of the TV.

bacorrea · July 2014

Any suggestions on helping it not burn? DH is deploying and I really want to be able to have sex with him before he leaves...we tried last week but it was so painful that we had to stop. I'm only 12 weeks postpartum and I had 2 second degree tears.

cnbean · July 2014

I found that as DS1 got older and we started getting more sleep and he was less physically needy it got easier to want sex again. Its hard to want to have DH all over me when I just finished a whole day of the baby being all over me. But it got better as time went on. It wasn't something that changed overnight, but more of a gradual shift.

From the physical side of things, last time I didn't enjoy it really until after I stopped BFing. This time it's still a little uncomfortable initially, but once I get over that its better than before!

Serenla · July 2014

@bacorrea said:
Any suggestions on helping it not burn? DH is deploying and I really want to be able to have sex with him before he leaves...we tried last week but it was so painful that we had to stop. I'm only 12 weeks postpartum and I had 2 second degree tears.

So. Much. Lube.

moonsparkles · July 2014

bacorrea said:

Any suggestions on helping it not burn? DH is deploying and I really want to be able to have sex with him before he leaves...we tried last week but it was so painful that we had to stop. I'm only 12 weeks postpartum and I had 2 second degree tears.

oOlive Oil, which we've been using. Midwife suggested coconut oil, which we have yet to try.

Why don't you try being on top? That way you can control everything.

BreeShipman · July 2014

Coconut oil does work really well. I use it for a diaper cream as well so it's in a easy sqeeze tube and always nearby

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