Leaving kids in the car - what age is ok?

caranichole · July 2014

I was just thinkin about all the news lately and I saw a suburban at the store that looked like it had two older elm. aged boys in it. Just got me thinking...What do you think is an appropriate age to leave a kid in the car? I know several states but not all states have specific laws about leaving children in the car but I didn't see any that specified an age limit - I didn't research that thoroughly though.

JessAnnJ · July 2014

Was the car running? I haven't really thought about it, but it seems like I would make my kids get out of the car. I'm guessing they were in there playing some sort of video games. It's not even a purely safety thing for me, which I think is still a concern, but my mom dragged my butt in the store and I think it's a good life lesson that sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do.

caranichole · July 2014

Yes, the car was running. There were two of them and I imagine they are friends but could've been brothers. They were just talking or whatever I suppose but I didn't peer in the windows or anything.

I probably didn't get left alone in the car till I was about 12. I don't remember exactly but my parents had a 6th grade rule for nearly everything! Home alone, walking home from school (but I had to walk with friends), unsupervised mall visits, etc.

Lindzoid · July 2014

No age in my opinion. What if someone got in and stole the car?!?!? Especially if the car is running....it would be an easy target for a thief. I am always a worst scenario kind of person so I just wouldn't be able to think of doing it!

IrishHoney123 · July 2014

Hmmm...I don't think any child should be left in a car at any age.

DaniGrace89 · July 2014

I would say not until the kid is old enough to get out of the car, make a phone call, etc. meaning they are a teen, not a child.

Emerald27 · July 2014

Never ever. Running or not. Kids could be kidnapped, car could be stolen, or any number of other bad things could happen while you're not there.

AmandaJean12 · July 2014

Ok, I can't say never. Your kids going to learn to drive eventually... I'd say Jr. High-ish? I think it depends on the kid, but would I be concerned about a 12-13+ kid sitting in a car? No. An elementary school kid would probably still concern me a little.

megaroo64 · July 2014

There was an article awhile back about this posted on my other BMB about kids left in cars (not hot cars) and how statistically, something happening like a kidnapping, carjacking was super super slim. When I get off mobile and on a real computer, I'll hunt the article down.

That being said I would be comfortable leaving my kid for a short period of time (like to run in to pick up dry cleaning or something) when the kid was like 10 or so.

Emerald27 · July 2014

AmandaJean12 said:
Ok, I can't say never. Your kids going to learn to drive eventually... I'd say Jr. High-ish? I think it depends on the kid, but would I be concerned about a 12-13+ kid sitting in a car? No. An elementary school kid would probably still concern me a little.

I'm not 100% sure because I'm just not there yet, but I'd guess that DS would have to be at least 13, have to promise to keep the doors locked and windows up (with car running for AC, of course), and I would keep my trip really short.

...why can't my teenager just come into the store with me again?

AmandaJean12 · July 2014

Emerald27 said:

AmandaJean12 said:
Ok, I can't say never. Your kids going to learn to drive eventually... I'd say Jr. High-ish? I think it depends on the kid, but would I be concerned about a 12-13+ kid sitting in a car? No. An elementary school kid would probably still concern me a little.
I'm not 100% sure because I'm just not there yet, but I'd guess that DS would have to be at least 13, have to promise to keep the doors locked and windows up (with car running for AC, of course), and I would keep my trip really short.

...why can't my teenager just come into the store with me again?

Obviously they can. But I guess it also depends where you live. I grew up in a small rural town where kids drove tractors and farm equipment by jr high. To say no you can't wait in the car when I run in for milk at that age, just feels silly to me.

Would I feel different if my kid didn't know how to operate a vehicle and we were in downtown Minneapolis? Absolutely.

lrobi13 · July 2014

I know it is a different world but I was left in the car all the time as a kid if my parents were paying for gas (before pay at pump) or running in the store for one item. I was probably 8 or older but I don't know if there would ever be a reason for me to leave them.

MrMrsandBaby · July 2014

So...I dream about being able to leave DD in the car when I just need to run in to a store quickly to grab something. Gone are the days of stopping at a gas station for a snack and drink because it sucks to pull her out of the carseat, go in for two minutes and then put her back in just for a candy bar! But in reality, I would NEVER leave a toddler in the car alone for any length of time.

As she gets older, it depends on several things. While, clearly, she is physically capable of coming into stores with me, sometimes it is just not worth the fight or if I'm going to be quick I don't want to bring in the kids to delay the process. The example of running in to get dry cleaning, or a prescription, it isn't going to kill them or me to sit in the car for 5 minutes. But I don't know what age that will be...it will be more a maturity thing I think.

Either way, I won't know until I know!

roundabout2 · July 2014

I will leave my 12 year old in the car alone while I quick run in the gas station. Otherwise, he's coming with me. I will also leave him alone with the 10 and 8 yr old but if he's not there, those 2 are coming with me. And if it's super hot out, they come in with me because I will never leave the keys in the car cause I fear someone driving off. I started leaving my 12 yr old home alone this summer while I work (3 days a week) since he is mature enough and has taken a safety course, and I leave him with chores to do around the house. He is not to go outside or answer the door and is really good about it.

Next year my almost 11 yr old will be almost 12 but there's no way in heck I'd leave him alone in a car or at home. He's super immature. So, I guess it would depend on age and maturity level.

Syllessa · July 2014

I leave my kids in the car (running for a/c if hot) for quick stops. Specifically, I will leave all 3 (ages 11, almost 10, and 5) together or I will leave the 2 oldest if it's going to be slightly longer. They know how to turn on/off the car, get out, make phone call if needed. They also know to NEVER open the door for anyone except me or FI for any reason.

I also am starting to let them stay alone in the house together for a couple of hours twice a week. Both ds1 and dd1 have taken and passed a CPR and safety course this summer, and with a few set rules, I feel comfortable with this. Always as a group though.

bumpuser10309732 · July 2014

Yes I agree it depends on the kid and also where you live. Where I live nothing like that would ever happen. It's a really slim chance. I could probably (not saying I would!!) leave a baby in there with a flat screen TV and a thousand dollars in the seat with the car running and someone would probably stop to entertain my baby. I live in a really small town. Everyone knows everyone and they're all overly helpful and friendly. So I would probably leave a 10 year old in the car with it running and tell him/her to lock the door until I get back (which is probably even a stretch lets be honest). I grew up in a big city and my mom would not hesitate to leave me in front of the grocery store with the doors locked.

Syllessa · July 2014

FamousEa said:

I do it. My oldest is 12 and I trust her, I wouldn't do it if the kids were younger since young children could mess with the gear shift or steering wheel. I think it depends on where you live really. I live in a small town, I'm not all like "oh nothing bad can happen to me" but if I have to pick up one thing at the pharmacy and it's raining I'm not lugging every one inside for a 3 minute transaction. I also let my oldest babysit if I have to run to the store, we have 2 grocery stores 5 minutes away so I can just go grab a few things and come home. To each their own, it's really what you are comfortable with as the parent.

Things like this are why I'm so happy you are my labor buddy. You and I are totally riding the same wave on stuff like this...most of the time. >:D<

TheOtherJacobsons · July 2014

I think CA allows kids to be left home alone watching another kid at age 11. I would feel safe leaving my kid alone on their own or with another kid 11 or older. I think never is a bit extreme. I was left in the car with my brother at that age with the keys and the doors locked and I survived. It probably also helped that I was old enough to understand stranger danger, know where my mom was going, and had the choice to go with her or not. Sometimes I just didn't want to go.

caranichole · July 2014

I really wanted to hear all the different perspectives. I think it's totally situational with all sorts of factors involved. Quick stops vs Long stops, can you see the car from where you're going to be, age and maturity of the kid. We don't really know what life and crime is going to be like in 10 years buts it's something to think about and consider since we hear about it often and form opinions on the matter anyway.

I appreciate the way my parents did things. If it was a short trip, I was probably 12, sometimes they'd leave me with their cell phones until I got my first one at 13 or so, windows were up, a/c was on, panic button was accessible. We lived in a nice suburb. If were near home they'd leave me for quicker trips but if we were in the city or somewhere we didn't know well, I came in with them.

trisharenee0316 · July 2014

I definitely remember being left in the car with my sister when we were younger--maybe I was in 4th and she was in 3rd grade? That was also the same age when we walked home from school together and were latchkey kids. Windows were cracked to permit air, but the car was off. Never was an issue. I honestly don't know at what age I would do it now, but I wouldn't judge another parent for doing it.

MorganWP · July 2014

I think I was about 8 or 9 when I got the option to wait in the car.

I've left DD in car while I've paid for gas, I can still see her and it doesnt take more than two minutes. I think 9 or 10 is a good age to leave them for longer periods. It does depend on the child but I would feel comfortable leaving them at that age if I just had to run in somewhere. If I knew beforehand that it was going to be a long trip, I would bring them in with me or just leave them at home.

persephonerose · July 2014

Texas actually has it outlined very specifically when children can be left in the car alone. Anyone under the age of seven must be monitored by a person 14yrs or older.

Even with that I don't foresee leaving my 7 year old alone in the car. Besides the heat, I would never leave a child who did not know how to operate a vehicle in a running car.

MrsL2B · July 2014

On one hand, I was left alone in the car at a young age (definitely before 7) while my parents ran into the store or the bank, and I loved every second of it. On the other hand, it's super hot here, I feel it's wasteful to leave the car idling, and there are too many people who get up in your business about everything these days.

victoria+james · July 2014

Just this morning the 8 year old I nanny begged me to leave her in the car while I ran down to the pool to pick up her brother. It would have only been a few minutes and even if I didn't think she would have gotten into any trouble (knocking my car into neutral, etc.) I told her there was no way I'd leave her. I also wouldn't leave her 11 year old brother (very immature) or even her 13 year old sister (very mature)... Truthfully, I'm terrified that someone would call and report me for child abuse even if that was far from the truth!

I don't want to risk being hauled off to jail for some stupid misunderstanding. I wish this was different though...

Klavanga74 · July 2014

I agree that it's situational and geographic. I will leave my 12-year-old in the car only in certain areas of where we live, and never with the car running unless I'm in someone's driveway in a neighborhood. There are certain shopping areas that are in areas where I just don't feel safe leaving them. Te places where I do feel safe, I'd leave them both to run into the store quickly. This week I've been leaving my 10-yo in the car while dropping the older one off at camp, but we're in a church parking lot with tons of parents coming and cpgoing and I just walk her to the door. Otherwise, I don't leave him alone.

BreandMikewedding · July 2014

25? Lol. I guess depending on the child maybe around 13. I worry too much about the car being stolen. There was recently a car stolen with a 12 year old in it very close to us. She luckily jumped out and was safe, but it's still scary.

Emerald27 · July 2014

@theresat858‌ Child locks on back doors can make it really hard to get out of the back seat of a car. Even an adult can't unlock and open a child-locked read door, because the child lock is on the part of the door that's exposed when you open it. And a kid in a car seat or booster seat would have to be able to unbuckle him/herself (some can. DS definitely can't...even I think his car seat is hard to unbuckle) and climb into the front to unlock a door and get out.

So technically you can't lock someone in by locking all 4 doors, but you can definitely lock them into the back.

krysngreg · July 2014

With a newer vehicle, I leave mine in it running with it locked. If I just have to run in. She knows not to unlock it for any one but me, and it also helps to have a keyless entry option. At first I was more concerned with her getting in the front seat and knocking it out of park. But we have talked about that enough for her to know how bad the consequences would be if she did. I haven't had any problems, and now when I keep my niece she stays in the car with my oldest. Makes it so easy to just run in and grab milk and bread.... Or just dog food! But never ever in a hot car or an unlocked running car even.... My worse nightmare is a kidnapper getting there hands on my children!

krysngreg · July 2014

I forgot to mention she is six and yes we have been it routinely for a couple years at least...

krysngreg · July 2014

I should also add that we live in a very small town in Texas .... Every one knows every one kinda thing. So this is just us personally I guess I wouldn't do it if I lived in a city or somewhere wit a high population of people.

Want a personalized experience?

Leaving kids in the car - what age is ok?

Re: Leaving kids in the car - what age is ok?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards