Learning to Talk

jamizipp · July 2014

My 17 month old is getting frustrated that he can't say words to tell us what he wants. He's started yelling and throwing temper tantrums. I feel like I'm not doing enough to help him learn to say words. I was thinking about asking daycare what they're trying to teach him, so I can do the same at home. Am I worrying too much? Will this come in time?

mb314 · July 2014

How many words does your LO know? Does he know at least a few? DS had a word explosion around that time, but even then, many of his words were things like "Doggy" and "Car" and "Airplane" that weren't helpful in communicating things he may want. It's a hard age - DS' tantrums started about that age.

Your LO doesn't sound behind so long as he has at least some words. This sounds like total normal toddler behavior. One option is to work on some basic signs with him - like signs for "More" "Help" or "All Done". And then focusing on teaching them to say these words as well. Like when DS would scream out of frustrations for not being able to climb up on something or because a toy came apart and he couldn't fix it, I would tell him "say 'help. Help. Help.'" and he began to repeat "Help." Even now at 22 months, if he's frustrated and he starts to scream for attention, I tell him "say 'help'" and he stops screaming and says "help."

I think as long as you're talking to LO a lot, reading to him, singing to him, etc, you're good. Kids all develop at different rates, and boys tend to talk later than girls.

I would make sure that you and daycare are using the same words for consistency. For instance, make sure you're not teaching him to say "all done" while they're teaching him "finished" or another word. Kids can learn more than one word/language, but it will just mean they'll learn it slower/later.

jamizipp · July 2014

Thanks for the advice. He does say some words, like CHOO CHOO, BEEP BEEP, BALL, BYE, DADA. Seems like things come and go. A couple months ago he would say MAMA, not at all now.

vvvvvfee · July 2014

great advice above.

here's a helpful list of thinks you can do to help encourage your child's language development: https://www.asha.org/public/speech/development/parent-stim-activities.htm

also READ to your LO!

the american academy of pediatrics released a statement recently recommending that doctors encourage all caregivers to read to their LO's daily from infancy:
https://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/childrens/childrens-industry-news/article/63008-american-academy-of-pediatrics-backs-reading-aloud-from-infancy.html

nikkisun54 · July 2014

Your little one sounds a lot like mine, who will be 17m next week. It's frustrating when they have developed the receptive communication skills but just can't express them. DS knows about 10 words but only uses 5-6 regularly; and rest assured, Ma and Da aren't ones he uses regularly, only when he wants us to pick him up!

But either way, I've found that utilizing gestures (mainly pointing) and a couple basis signs really helps us a lot. DS knows signs for eat, more, please, thank you, done, and has essentially developed his own for hot and shake (based on the unintentional hand motions we always use to correspond with those words, he now thinks they're signs). Pairing those with pointing, I can typically figure out what he wants.

I've also found our other issue is now that I CAN figure out what he wants, I have to say no and he understands my response, but can't reason it. For instance, "What is it that you want? Are you trying to tell me you want <insert breakable/dangerous object>?" -DS smiles and giggles. "I'm sorry, we do not play with that." - DS throws himself on the ground in a fit of anger. Those types of things I do not have the answer for, lol!

pb_bride · July 2014

As PPs said, it sounds normal for a 17 month old. My DS had no words at 15m, and only 5 words at 18m. His "explosion" didn't start until around 19m and he is now learning 1 new word a day. Despite that, we still get plenty of tantrums... no amount of words at this age is adequate for them to express their desires/anger/needs/wants etc.

Having said that, I had a feeling DS was going to be a late talker, so around 15m I started teaching him sign language. We were doing the basics before 15m, but I revved up the teaching. He quickly learned 30 signs in a month. It doesn't necessarily help with tantrums, but at least he can "talk." He knows about 50-60 signs and just recently he started to speak the words that he already knew the signs.

GL.

nikkisun54 · July 2014

For what it's worth to piggyback off @pb_ bride I've also found recently that the signs I've taught DS have actually helped encourage those specific words, not discourage them. He recently started saying "bye" and "thank you" (sounds more like "than") and picked up "please" shortly after he learned the sign. For us, linking a sign to a word has been a beneficial tool in helping him connect his verbal expressiveness. Your daycare likely utilizes some basic signs; if not, now is a great time to start - It will make life easier for you both!

Crequito · July 2014

We just had a language explosion but I understand your frustration at not being able to respond to LOs needs/wants because he can't verbalize. Do you let him point to things? That helped us before DD was using words. I would even open the fridge and ask what she wanted and she'd usually point to applesauce or yogurt or milk or whatever.

Keep referring to things when you give them to him and enunciate and exaggerate the word. I'd always say "does Vivi want some milk" and draw out the word milk. Now she uses the word. Same for a lot of her words. Another thing I do on a regular basis is just go through the words she already knows, "can Vivi say agua? can Vivi say ball" etc and then I'll tack on a new word I've been trying to teach her and she'll usually be on such a roll that she'll mimic the new word and then we practice that one for a while. It takes time. Also, build off the sounds he uses already. I noticed in the beginning all of Vivi's words were b or d words or began with a sound where her tongue would have to hit the back of her teeth so I tried to work on as many words that started with those sounds as possible.

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