Community› The Bump Month Clubs› June 2013 Moms
June 2013 Moms
New Discussion

When have you been judged? (stolen from May '13)

BC&LMBC&LM member
in June 2013 Moms
I saw this on the May board and thought it was a pretty interesting discussion topic.

When have you been judged (in the real world) for a choice you made as a parent?
Report Reply to Post

Re: When have you been judged? (stolen from May '13)

  • BC&LMBC&LM member
    This one's not too recent, but people always used to judge me if I didn't have LO super bundled up in 50 degree weather. It drove me nuts because my son runs warm, and if I had him in hat, mittens, and a winter coat at that temperature, he would be covered in sweat. A hoodie was usually warm enough for him at that temperature.

    I am pretty sure people have judged me before because my son goes to a daycare center. I don't remember the specific comments, but they were something that implied that I should have tried to have a grandparent or family friend watch him.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • BC&LMBC&LM member
    Pitchslap said:

    Do you mean by normal people or my ILs? Vastly different answers.

    Either/or! I expect a lot might be in-laws ;-)
    Report Reply
  • BC&LMBC&LM member
    Speaking of in-laws, my SIL judged me because LO was still using a pacifier when he was cranky around 7-8 months. My FIL did too, calling it his mute button or something snarky like that. (He still uses one for bedtime, but they don't know that.)

    I am pretty sure my SIL also judged me for not putting LO in shoes before he learned how to walk. (Of course I kind of judged her for telling me that I must buy hard-soled shoes so that he could walk well. ;-) )
    Report Reply
  • BC&LMBC&LM member
    Oh I have yet another. Been judged by many people because we are taking LO to Disney at 1.5 years.
    Report Reply
  • BunnyLove416BunnyLove416 member
    A guy I work with had a baby a couple of weeks after L was born, my first week back to work he asked me what we were doing with the baby and I said he was in daycare (he was 8 weeks old) he got the most horrified look on his face and said 'oh, he seems so little to do that...' I could have sucker punched him. Now I brush that shit right off but my very first week back to work not so much. 

    My Mom also makes fun of pretty much everything I do with this kid, she thinks I'm too uptight in general so she just assumes all my choices for him (signing, breastfeeding, RFing, not giving him a ton of sweets, trying to limit the pacifier etc.)  are coming from an uptight place. I feel a large sense of victory every time one of those things works, like when he signs at her. HA.
    Report Reply
  • peachnectarinepeachnectarine member
    Many months ago, my MIL asked when we were going to give him rice cereal. We said we weren't going to and we were going to give him oatmeal instead because it was healthier. She couldn't believe us and kept asking when we were going to give him rice cereal everytime she saw us. She even bought us rice cereal and gave it to us. She told DH to "stop trying to reinvent the wheel" and kept telling everyone (while we were standing there) that we refused to give him rice cereal and rolling her eyes. I felt judged for being healthier!
    image
    image

    Report Reply
  • numbersgirl08numbersgirl08 member
    edited July 2014

    MH and I went on a vacation for my 30th bday when N was about 8 months old.  Hubby's aunt made a comment to his cousin (whom we see on a regular basis) that she "couldn't believe I would be willing to leave N" and she "had no idea how I could possibly stand to be away for 5 days" and "there was no way she would have ever left her babies" and other comments insinuating I was a bad mom to be leaving her.  I let that get to me for a little while, thinking everyone was like "she's a terrible mom" but not saying anything.

    We mentioned to MIL on facetime awhile back that N might go to daycare this year instead of having a nanny and she got this truly aghast look on her face and said something like "My baby can't go to DAYCARE!"  I'm not sure what she thinks they do at daycare, but apparently it's something akin to beating babies.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • numbersgirl08numbersgirl08 member
    subliminalrabbit said:
    ^^^Totally fair.
    And I definitely do it too.  I think it's just natural human tendency.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • momofcatanmomofcatan member
    @Bleachy14 Cream cheese sandwich for lunch every.single.day (with a side of veggies). I honestly can't think of anything else to send that I wouldn't need to worry about her refusing it and starving.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • DaisyDuck40DaisyDuck40 member
    A girl judged me because I didn't breastfeed Joseph.

    imageimageimage
    image


    image
    Report Reply
  • ColieAnn31ColieAnn31 member
    I'm judged all the time by my family because we cosleep. He refused to sleep in his crib and cosleeping was the only way any of us would get any sleep. Both of our families are very firm on their beliefs of CIO. The night Grayson was born A's dad told us that it's ok if we let him cry for a little bit before picking him up :-O he was only 2 hours old!!!

    I'm sure I got judged last night. We went out to dinner and Grayson would only eat strawberries so that's what he had for dinner.
    image imageimageimage
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • LaBellaVidaLaBellaVida member
    I'm sure I'm judged allot. I don't GAF though. I do my best.
    image
    image


    Report Reply
  • ilovemarfailovemarfa member
    I know I've been judged for things but I really don't care. Ds1 is 3 and still sleeps in his crib. We tried putting him in a twin bed when he turned 2, right before ds2 was born, and it was a nightmare. He wouldn't stay in the bed and my sleep at the time was more important that him sleeping in a twin bed. Our pediatrician said as long as he's not jumping out and fits in it, he's fine. My parents always make comments about it as have my friends. I just smile and shake my head. He's still content in there and we have his big boy bed set up in the room so when he's ready he can sleep in it.
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • WasNotWasWasNotWas member
    @trutru127 I have zero issue with the judgment of your SIL (I have a soon-to-be SIL that I'm saving up for, she's going to be a mess), it's the jump to the "all they eat is fries" conclusion that I wanted to clear up
    image
                                                                  #Bodymber14 #Bodygate #itsMillerTime

     

                                                                       Bradley 05-04-11 & Tyler 06-18-13
    Report Reply
  • WasNotWasWasNotWas member

    @trutru127 not making fun of you, just thought this was funny and apropos

    funny-How-Met-Mother-allergic-bacon-Ted 

    image
                                                                  #Bodymber14 #Bodygate #itsMillerTime

     

                                                                       Bradley 05-04-11 & Tyler 06-18-13
    Report Reply
  • kelseypiekelseypie member
    I have a good friend who passively judges me for bed sharing. She's sent me articles about the dangers of bed sharing like, "what do you think about this?"

    I've been judged for babywearing. "Poor baby!" "Can it breathe!?!"

    I often feel judged by moms I come into contact with at work FOR vaxxing, if it's a topic that comes up. Fucking nit wits.



    image

    image

    image 

    Report Reply
  • WasNotWasWasNotWas member
    @kelseypie I remember you bringing that up when you first started working there. I work with like a hardcore republican that I can't piss off so I just smile and nod when they (not giving away if girl or boy) start rambling on...but I do speak up if they get out of line or just piss me off :)
    image
                                                                  #Bodymber14 #Bodygate #itsMillerTime

     

                                                                       Bradley 05-04-11 & Tyler 06-18-13
    Report Reply
  • momofcatanmomofcatan member
    @sympkin I told DH E's name and he LOVES it (he is into everything fantasy/sci fi, so I thought he would).

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • GalLauraGalLaura member
    -Judged for breast feeding still by family and friends at home. One friend said "will you be that mom whose kid asks for it."

    - judged because he still sleeps in our room in his own cot. Our place isn't that large and there isn't internal heat. So I like him near me until the spring. Why do I need to explain this to family who have never even seen my home?

    -judged by family for the cereal vs. oatmeal too!

    -judged because I didn't come back to the USA to have the baby even though I had no insurance. This was by my aunt who is a labor nurse. She said it takes a village to raise a baby. I said even if I lived in the USA i would be doing it on my own!
    Report Reply
  • KittenGatorKittenGator member
    @honeyb1993

    I'm glad to hear that you've never had rude comments directed at you before, especially given the amount of dirty looks I received. A few of my closest friends were teen moms and they were/are fabulous. It's unfair to assume that just because of someone's age or how old they look they are destined to be a crummy parent. When I see a mom your age I always think "good for her- I wish I met my husband and had my ish together at that age enough to have children." 

    When I was pregnant a woman working at Macy's assumed that I was going to be a single mom, even though I had a wedding ring and mentioned my husband several times. She said to me sternly "you have a very long and hard road ahead of you, being a single mom." It ticked me off because for one it was none of her business and she shouldn't care if I was a single mom and for two I was married. I can't imagine how I would have felt if I WAS a single mom- rude.

    I get defensive when judgment comes up, too ;)
    image DD and I. DD: 6/22/2008. DS: 6/22/2013
    Report Reply
  • Nix55Nix55 member
    @nykkolaughs‌, aren't you worried about the kernels that don't pop all the way or the casings that get stuck in your throat sometimes? I don't think your child will die, but it can be an uncomfortable snack for an adult sometimes let alone a LO. At least I know to spit out the uncooked ones or how to clear my throat.
    Report Reply
  • Lizzybizzy80Lizzybizzy80 member
    @wasnotwas love you too, hot stuff!

    image

    Report Reply
  • BunnyLove416BunnyLove416 member
    Monkeybutt80 said:
    @sympkin it's a beautiful name! when I first learned what your lo's name was I even told my husband about it because I liked it so much. 

    Me too! It's my favorite girl name I've seen yet.
    Report Reply
  • Nix55Nix55 member
    @nykkolaughs‌ If you're breaking it up, then NBD. I was just envisioning Ella chomping on a handful of popcorn.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"