AW: OB/GYN appt today

Km380 · July 2014

I'm sorry ladies can I be an AW? I had my annual a few weeks ago and it came back irregular, which means I need to go back and have an uncomfortable appointment so they can do a biopsy. My appt is today. MH has been less than supportive about this. When I told him the test came back irregular I told him I hate my body. I forget what he said but his reaction was just annoyed. I have a long history of going through these tests and have already had 1 surgery as a result. After that surgery we had to wait 1 year before ttc. Last year my annual was right before my first bfp and I had a regular pap. I thought this was behind us. Now its back and I'm scared of what it means. I already talked to the RE and he assured me if the tests come back low grade abnormality nothing changes. If it comes back more serious…he wants to move to IVF so we can do FET down the road once this is taken care of. I haven't even told MH that part. All I've told him is its possible this doesn't change anything. He has this attitude like I've done something on purpose to have this happen. So on top of dealing with my own health mh is not being helpful. I know he is acting this way bc this whole situation is so shitty and this is just one more obstacle it seems no one else has to deal with (although I'm told its common by the drs) but I feel like I have no one to confide in bc he just gets annoyed. We were talking about it last night and I could just feel him tensing up and getting mad. I got no sleep last night. So here I am exhausted, stressed out and a wee bit scared.

Thanks for letting me be an AW here.

BookishMomma · July 2014

I'm sorry your DH isn't being as supportive as you need. I honestly think men have no clue sometimes what we go through with all this crap.

Was it your pap that came back abnormal? If so, I have a history of abnormal paps and HPV, so have had many colposcopys over the years (which is what it sounds like you're having done today). Feel free to hit me up with a PM if you have questions about what to expect.

edit: clarity

rslh10 · July 2014

Big hugs to you. I am so sorry that your dh isn't being supportive like you need him to be. We're all here in your corner, on your side! I hope it goes great today

FX for you, love!!

Km380 · July 2014

BookishMomma said:

I'm sorry your DH isn't being as supportive as you need. I honestly think men have no clue sometimes what we go through with all this crap.

Was it your pap that came back abnormal? If so, I have a history of abnormal paps and HPV, so have had many colposcopys over the years (which is what it sounds like you're having done today). Feel free to hit me up with a PM if you have questions about what to expect.

edit: clarity

Yep. I can't even count the number of colpo's I've had over the years. Thank you for sharing, feeling a little less alone now.

Km380 · July 2014

@sarcaztic10 Thank you for sharing. No one talks about this irl so I really don't know anyone that has gone through this. Men really do not understand sometimes.

TVLily · July 2014

Sending you so many good vibes for today Hun.

I'm so sorry YH isn't being supportive, I hope he comes around today to give you the support you deserve. Big ((hugs)).

goldengirl84 · July 2014

One of my best friends IRL is going through this right now and has to have surgery for other issues as well, so I completely understand your worries and concerns. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this and I really hope and pray it comes back mild. Someone told me recently that men don't worry until there is actually something to worry about and I have really found that to be true. Just because he's not as worried as you doesn't mean he doesn't care. It may be his way of not showing his fear. I think they just assume we're always irrational. Big (((hugs)))!!! Let us know when you get the results.

Lesliem0901 · July 2014

I'm sorry you feel alone and YH is being a poop head. I've been there and I try to tell myself that he just doesn't get it. It still sucks. I hope everything goes OK. Big ole hugs to you.

MrsKush1014 · July 2014

Sending positive vibes for you today KM! I'm so sorry your husband isn't more supportive. I know that men don't understand what it's like to be a woman and deal with the things we have to deal with, but it really stinks that he gets annoyed over something that is completely out of your control. So many {{hugs}}.

ashlee113085 · July 2014

((hugs)) T&P to you. Sending over positive vibes your way!

mrsjg2013 · July 2014

Big ((HUGS)) to you! I'm so sorry you're going through this

Sometimes MH gets frustrated at the time and money spent on doctor's appointments, testing, etc. He views it as "wasted" because it hasn't led to any way to "fix" whatever may be wrong and/or hasn't resulted in a healthy pregnancy thus far. As PP's have said, men just don't completely understand. I think deep down they feel helpless, but they don't know how to express that. I hope that your appointment goes well today. Please know that we're here to listen and support you

MrsG80inTN · July 2014

FX that things go ok today. I'm sorry your hubby isn't being supportive... I completely understand and plan to probably post an AW post today too to get some things off my chest and get some understanding from other ladies as well. I've had an abnormal pap and the extra fun that it brings so I don't envy you - take it easy today.

Feegan · July 2014

I'm sorry hubs isn't being supportive, maybe you should take him with you to an appointment sometime so he actually sees what you are going through. My hubs wasn't getting how overwhelming and frustrating my RE appointments were so finally I dragged him to one where they pulled out the wand for a vaginal ultrasound and suddenly it all clicked and he was much more sympathetic to the process. Sending you hugs for today and keeping my fingers crossed everything goes well.

Km380 · July 2014

Thank you ladies. I just got home from the appt and will have the results in a week or so. He did say from what he sees he's optimistic it will be low grade and I'll just have to have a pap in 6 months. Then again, he tends to be a pretty optimistic doctor until things go wrong and I'm not sure he can "see" anything. My last gyno never had any input until the lab results came back. I think part of mh's problem is there is no fix and he doesn't know what to do. We all know men need to fix the problem.

Thank you all again for the support. It truly does help me.

kath16 · July 2014

Hi I just wanted to tell you that I'm going through something similar. I had an abnormal pap at my first pregnancy appointment and then after my D&C found out I also had some abnormalities/HPV. It just seemed like piling on at that point, right?

Next week I have an appointment for a LEEP. I am hoping that I won't be benched more than a couple of weeks after that, but that of course is if he "gets" everything that he needs to get on a LEEP.

I hope everything turns out great for you! And just wanted to let you know that you can PM me if you need to vent or whatever.

Hugs

mpiemont · July 2014

I'm sorry your H isn't giving you the support you need. I feel like men just deal with all of this stuff differently. I too have gone through the abnormal pap, colposcopy, cone biopsy surgery. Maybe your H just doesn't realize how common it is because it's not something you usually know about someone else. Big hugs. Hope your appointment goes well.

alm288 · July 2014

I hope your results are good and that YH comes around. I think this process can be frustrating and overwhelming for everyone involved. Hopefully YH just needs a little time to digest everything. (((Hugs)))

BackstreetPixie · July 2014

I hope everything comes back okay. Sorry he isn't being as supportive. =-/ ::HUGS:: and fx for you!

MSU_Girl1202 · July 2014

I'm so sorry you're going through this lady! Wishing you an easy appointment with normal results! Big ((hugs))

shandorfml2 · July 2014

Sending (((hugs)))) hope your biopsy went smoothy and fx for good results

Km380 · July 2014

Thank you again for the support today. I know we all have crap to deal with so I just want to say how much I appreciate the kind words and support.

Mh and I had a chat tonight and he did say he gets mad bc he hates I have to go through this and he just gets frustrated that no one else does. (Which they do, but let's be serious the topic of ones cervix doesn't come up much in everyday conversation.) For those of you with experience with this, I'm so sorry you have to deal with it too.
(((Hugs))) to everyone, you ladies rock.

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