2nd baby.. How long did your spouse get/take off work?

blgills · July 2014

My husband has up to 9 months of usable paid parental leave but wants to take only 3 weeks off due to a career limbo he's in right now. He doesn't want to be off work and out of the loop for a military course he's waiting for.
Ugh. With our daughter he took 7 months!
I will have a just-turned-2-year old and a newborn. Feeling stressed!
How long did your spouses take/get off work?

heart_of_virginia · July 2014

With our first, H was in the marines and got 10 days. Our second was born on a Saturday night, he went back to work the following Monday. With this one, if I don't go into labor before, I'll be induced on a Saturday and he'll go back to work the following Monday.

Edited to add: My kids are 3 and almost 18 months. And even if I were to have a c-section, H would be back to work the day I was out of the hospital.

dixielee05 · July 2014

12 days last time and 6-9 days this time depending on when the newbie decides to show up. I also have a 3.5 year old.

blgills · July 2014

dixielee05 said:
12 days last time and 6-9 days this time depending on when the newbie decides to show up. I also have a 3.5 year old.

So how did you find that?! My last birth recovery was good. Vagina birth, no tears. So I'm not too worried about that. These days it's hard to just get a shower while home alone with my toddler (unless I want living room destruction when I get out) so I'm worried about nursing a newborn and keeping my toddler occupied. And just.. living.. lol

Jennicillin · July 2014

My husband is military, so he gets a 10 day leave either within the first 90 days of life or within the first 90 days of returning home from deployment depending on the circumstance.

GinnyJ2012 · July 2014

With our first he took two days off, the Thursday he was born and Friday after. This time he will take 2 weeks maybe. DS1 will be 22 months so I understand the worry with a newborn and 2 year old. Where do you live and what does he do that your H gets 9 months paid leave?

Gr8ful_m0m · July 2014

DH is taking a week off after kiddo is born, I have a 3 year old. She will still be going to daycare 4 days a week, and DH has Fridays off. You are lucky you have the option of months of paternity leave, even 3 weeks seems like a long time to me!

reb84 · July 2014

My DH is also military and gets 10 days. I have to go back to work at 8 weeks and would love for him to use his leave to get DD#2 to 12 weeks before starting daycare.....but I doubt he can take a full month off right now. Since my leave will all be used up, he gets to do the girls doc appts and the like after I go back to work so I can start accumulating leave again.

dixielee05 · July 2014

blgills said:

dixielee05 said:
12 days last time and 6-9 days this time depending on when the newbie decides to show up. I also have a 3.5 year old.
So how did you find that?! My last birth recovery was good. Vagina birth, no tears. So I'm not too worried about that. These days it's hard to just get a shower while home alone with my toddler (unless I want living room destruction when I get out) so I'm worried about nursing a newborn and keeping my toddler occupied. And just.. living.. lol

How did I find what?

We baby proofed the playroom so I'll be able to breastfeed/make lunch/go to the bathroom and know my DS is OK. I plan on babywearing most of the time, that's the only way I got anything done with DS as a newborn. If I need to shower while DS is awake I pull the highchair into the bathroom and give him a snack. When he was an itty bitty I would put him in the swing and sing songs or play peek a boo.

ungraceful13 · July 2014

DH took off 2 weeks with DD and he will do the same this time. He has to use his PTO to get paid so while he could take 12 weeks off we can't afford for them to be unpaid so he is going back as soon as his PTO is out.

marathonmommy82 · July 2014

He'll probably take 2 weeks to stay home with me and the baby, then go back to work.

When I return to work after 12 weeks, he'll take 4 weeks to stay home with the baby (and then we'll send the baby to daycare when she's 4 mo old)

caybeh · July 2014

With our first, he took 1.5 weeks off. This one he'll take 2 weeks off. My oldest is almost 2.5.

blgphotography · July 2014

Thanks for the responses guys! I guess we are spoiled with so much time allowed off, so 3 weeks is looking like nothing to me and it's making me freak out. But it looks like a lot of you do it.

We are Canadian military

I am self employed so my husband can use the whole 9 months off if he wanted to at 98% of his wages. He does have to pay into his pension when he goes back (monthly payments or one lump sum) so that hurt us a bit after he returned from his last 7 months off.

But all in all we are really thankful for the large amount of time. Especially since family time is already always put on the back burner with the military! That's why I am thinking he is crazy for not just taking it.. but I understand his career priorities.

I guess in the US it's totally different!

IvyMagic828 · July 2014

H will probably only be able to take 1-2 weeks, but we'll see if baby comes late or not. H teaches college and grad-level engineering and classes start up late August. If need be someone could fill in for him temporarily but ideally he'd be there to make sure the semester starts off well. It's going to be a busy time!

ebp913 · July 2014

OMG 9 months is like comical to me. That's awesome for you but most people don't get nearly that long. DH took um 2 or 3 days off both times. Then my mom was here for a couple weeks.

novameh · July 2014

DH took Monday (baby day) through Thursday off with DS. I really had a handle on things and didn't need constant help at that point. I'm starting to worry reading these responses because we chose to use a lot of his PTO for family vacation early in summer. We have a two year old and DH will stay home as long as we need him (up to ten days lol) but between help from my mom and FIL, I doubt he'll take more than a week.

pmpkn219 · July 2014

My son was born Tuesday, H was in the hospital with me all that day, and after delivery, and home that week. He went back to work Monday

this job is pretty flexible about work from home, though not on a FT basis, so he'll probably stay out a little longer but be on his laptop. J will still be in 5days DC

missmiss307 · July 2014

With our first, DH took a week, and DS1 was in the NICU that entire week. This time he plans to take 2 weeks at the beginning, then an additional 3 weeks after I return to work.

happylady07 · July 2014

My DH is military as well, he gets 10 days. He took a little more leave than that last time but kind of drove me crazy towards the end, as there wasn't a whole lot for him to do since I was breastfeeding and my mom was there (he's hopeless when it comes to cooking). This time he will have more duties as we have a 2.5 year old to deal with as well. He's planning on taking his 10 days and that's it, his office is stretched pretty thin right when I'm due as several guys are gone on deployment and they also have a big inspection that ends ON my due date. (So he's jokingly said I can go into labor 10 days prior so that he'll conveniently not have to deal with the entire thing!)

Cat&S · July 2014

2 weeks.

kmontem · July 2014

RCS here - DH is planning on 3 personal days (while I'm physically in the hospital) and then a week of vacation time. If baby comes beforehand and on a weekend/end of the week, it'll really just be the week off. After that he'll be back full time and I'll be home with my 4 and 2 year old.

Venus04 · July 2014

Not a STM, but DH will be taking off three weeks for our first.

Pinkalana · July 2014

Wow. Big hugs to all the mamas having to fend for themselves so quickly after birth and with other kids too! Thankfully, DH gets 2 weeks paid paternity leave from his bank. Anytime in the first year of life. So with our daughter he didn't qualify for it until she was 6 months old, but he took it then, and we did a Roadtrip to Texas to see his family. He can also use sick time to come to appts with me, so like last Friday he had to leave 2 hours early to take me to the hospital for montitoring and he just took 2 hrs sick time. I'm so thankful for that flexibility. I know 2 weeks is not a lot but with having csections and not being able to drive myself in that time, it's the minimum time I need him to be home. He's so ready to have this baby and I know it's hard going to work knowing he's about to get 2 weeks off... Just not yet. One more week til my scheduled csection

BeachM · July 2014

10 days last time and this time. Also military. Luckily #2 decided to make his appearance before the ship gets underway next!

shevaCC · July 2014

@flip_flops, I was really glad to hear you mention your DH being there in your birth story! It really seemed like he could maybe miss your DS2's birth for a while there!

DH took a week off when DD was born, but 2 of those days we were at the hospital so it felt like hardly any time at all. Luckily, my mom came to stay with us for 2 weeks and she was an amazing help. This time he gets 2 weeks paid paternity leave and my mom will be here too, which will be really nice. I'm a little dreading that 3rd week when he goes back to work and my mom goes home, but luckily DD will be in daycare and I know we'll manage.

Valancyy · July 2014

My husband took 2 weeks with both our boys. He'll take 2 weeks again this time (it's PTO time, not paternity leave).

Plus...he works from home. So, he'll physically be in the house with us when he does go back. I'm secretly hoping maybe he'll let me sneak in a nap once in a while during his lunch break : ).

This is the first time I've been a SAHM while pregnant. Last time DS1 went to daycare during the day, so it was just me and the baby. This time around I'll have to juggle my 4 and 2 year old at the same time.

If my husband had to return to work sooner I'd probably have my MIL or mother stay with me for a few days, or at least come over for some time during the day during those first 2 weeks.

Jenrileysmom · July 2014

My husband took 2 days when DD was born and then the weekend so he was with me for 4 days before he headed back to work. This time it will depend on what day of the week it falls on because he works away and will likely just take the rest of the week off.

9 months seems like an eternity to miss work.

MamaBovs · July 2014

He's planning to take 3 weeks - 2 weeks of paid paternity leave + 1 week of vacation.

tamarar5 · July 2014

Wow, I'm envious of the time some of your so's get! Dh has left it flexible with his work. If I have another vaginal delivery, it will probably only be 2 or 3 days. However, the c/s possibility was brought up at my last apt, so he told work if that happened, he would be out a while week. We're REALLY in limbo.

Weezy2012 · July 2014

Not a STM but DH is taking a week or so off when DS is born and then his job allows 8 weeks fully paid paternity leave which he'll take when I am returning to work. His job actually offers better benefits than mine! I'd say any paid time off for DH is pretty lucky.