Nursing to sleep moms

Zoly1103 · July 2014

Do you have a plan for stopping this? Are you planning to BF past a year?

I'm getting nervous about what to do since he will be a year old September 12th and I only plan to BF for a year. In fact, I have a work conference at the end of September so I definitely need to be done by then since I don't want to carry a pump with me.

Ugh, I wish I had stopped this a few months ago. But it's just so easy!

Zoly1103 · July 2014

Zembits said:

DS's pediatrician sure has plans for me to stop. Haha.
I will be stopping pumping at work at a year. However, I'm not going to stop the nursing to sleep cold turkey at a year. I think it'll be a transition of a few months and I'm not going to set a date for it.
How long is the work conference for?

Lol, yes our Pedi doesn't know we do this still so I haven't gotten the lecture.

I will be gone Sunday - Thursday.

I've thought about trying to transition away now, but he's dealing with a nasty ear infection and teething so I hate to do that to him. I've actually even resorted to nursing in the middle of he night, which we haven't done since he was about 6 months old. But being tired makes you do drastic things.

smilingeyes2308 · July 2014

I don't nurse to sleep but I nurse her back to sleep for MOTN wakings. I don't mind at all. We started sleep training 4 months ago and haven't looked back and it took us a while to figure out what worked for us. What works for us is we will put her down drowsy at bedtime and she puts herself to sleep with minimal tears and then for MOTN wakings, it works best for us if I sit in the glider and nurse her (she falls back asleep immediately) and then I put her down in her crib and she usually will just roll over and go to sleep.

I don't plan on stopping anytime soon - we had to start formula at 7.5mo because of supply issues but BFing for MOTN wakings is okay with me. I figure she will eventually grow out of it and start STTN and then will naturally ween herself. I haven't told her ped because she would tell me to stop immediately, lol.

HisChamaoleGirl · July 2014

I'm commenting on this bc I am currently separated from my LO and nursing. Our separation is Sunday evening to Friday evening.

DH said that the first two nights took her a little while longer to fall asleep on her own, but now she'll drink a bottle of breastmilk, play and sleep on her own.

I think it has a lot to do with the fact I am not there to allow her to nurse to sleep. When I came home the first weekend she was interested in nursing to sleep, but the second weekend I came home she was already used to her new routine of bath, bottle, play, sleep.

Unknown · July 2014

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Zoly1103 · July 2014

I should also add that he can fall asleep without me. My MIL was watching him a couple of weekends ago and gave him a bottle and he fell asleep drinking that. So I don't think he necessarily has to have me but is used to eating at bedtime. I might need to involve my H in the routine more.

Thanks for sharing everyone; it's nice to hear others plans. I am probably over thinking this. My brain is tired from getting up in the middle of the night so I could be making this into a bigger deal than it actually is.

Burrberrymum · July 2014

I'm still nursing to sleep for naps and all through the night (bedsharing). I'm so scared for the transition, it's going to be so hard.

I haven't got a plan yet but I've been thinking about it a lot. I might just keep nursing for naps and bed.

Eta: I'm hoping she weans herself once she gets used to WCM.

blond1230 · July 2014

Pretty much what @lindszachary‌ said for us too.

I've been really trying tho to not be the sole person getting him to sleep tho so my DH got him to sleep rocking him last night for the first time in 10 months- I can't even believe it took so long lol. I think it helped that I've been trying to rock him and sing to him after nursing as opposed to falling asleep on the boob.

VitaLuna · July 2014

I nurse to sleep at night and have no plans to wean unless she's still nursing to sleep past the age of 2+. I agree that that's usually the last feed to go. My supply has been terrible for a long time, so I wouldn't be surprised if I slowly dried up before too much longer and the weaning comes naturally.

VitaLuna · July 2014

I should add... LO has to nurse back to sleep at night when I'm there (bed share), but after I get up for work at 4:45, she'll go back to sleep with him just shushing/patting her after she notices I'm not there.

AshleyPT · July 2014

I nursed both kids to sleep. My daughter nursed to sleep until she was over two. She was/is a champion sleeper and other people could put her down just fine when I wasn't around so it wasn't a habit I ever tried to break. I have no clue why a pediatrician would have an opinion on nursing your baby to sleep. Babies are very adaptable. If you aren't around then they get a different routine with the person watching them. I left for a week when my daughter was 13 months and it was the best thing I ever did for my husband finding his groove with her.

amy11401 · July 2014

I usually nurse my LO to sleep at night and for naps. When he goes to daycare he can go to sleep without nursing. But he is not at daycare currently since I am a teacher. Some nights he is not quite asleep when I put him down and he makes alittle cry turns and then goes to sleep. When he is put down at home without being nursed he does go to sleep but cries for awhile. My pedi said that I really should not nurse him to sleep since he is using it as a way to soothe himself. He will go through a few weeks where he sleeps through the night, then a week where he wakes up for some reason. We have been doing CIO for middle of the night wake ups but it still takes him awhile to go back to sleep. I planned to wean at a year (well not right on his 1st birthday!) I am worried about it though.

ejb23 · July 2014

I nurse to sleep at night, for motn wake ups and for naps on the weekends my dd goes down just fine with the bottle and awake during the 1 night a week I work late and every day at daycare. No plans to stop at 1.

OliveMom3 · July 2014

I nurse to sleep for all naps and bedtime. He can fall back asleep without nursing now, when my husband goes in to comfort him in the motn. I don't believe that your pedi should be giving you a hard time about this. You baby will learn how to sleep on his/her own when he or she is ready. The worst part of it is having milk in their mouth while they sleep and that it can cause cavities, but they will lose these teeth anyway. I'm not concerned.

Af1004 · July 2014

We nurse to sleep and most naps and motn. I'm getting a little worried because like you I wanted to wean at 1 but I think I've moved the motn weaning to 18mo. I'll give her until then to wean herself and cross my fingers. But I will cut out nursing to sleep for naps 1st then right before bed at around 1.

lilqt3929 · July 2014

We nurse to sleep for naps and bedtime. We did try sleep training which was going really well around 7 months til we went on a week long vacation and LO began teething. We need to do something soon because LO will not go to sleep unless attached to the boob and I would really like for other people to be able to put her down for naps when needed. I do plan on BFing til at least a year, LO would probably prefer til at least 5;).

ETA : posted too soon.

Zoly1103 · July 2014

Regarding the pediatrician's opinion: that's part of what I pay him for. He is more educated on child development so I do actually value what he says. Now, that doesn't mean I do everything he says.

He told us at 6 months that E wasn't waking up in the middle of the night because he was hungry and that we should try getting him back to sleep without nursing. Which is something I suspected but needed to hear from him. So we tried just rubbing his back and soothing him in other ways and it worked! E actually stopped waking up in the middle of the night not long after that.

He also told us to CIO, which I did very briefly and it didn't work for me so we stopped. So I listen to what he says but go with my gut. Mostly I just suspect that he would tell me that I shouldn't be nursing E to sleep, but I guess I don't know for sure.

After getting a little more sleep and reading everyone's responses, I think I'm going to worry about this less and maybe in about a month work on changing up our bedtime routine. I appreciate everyone's responses. If there are any others, feel free to share.

Salemkitty13 · July 2014

@AbbyMMM‌ We did No Cry Sleep Solution to get LO into his crib also. It worked for us too.

I sleep in the nursery in a twin near the crib. We had to tweak our nighttime routine. He still nurses to sleep a lot though. It seems to be going well. FX that it continues once I go back to work. I hope it continues to work for you!

NNGnome · July 2014

I wouldn't worry about it, DS1 BF'd to sleep and was up once a night until I got PG with DS2 when he was 13 months, then I was too tired to get up at night so DH went, and DS1 started sleeping through the night within the week. My milk dried up and he weaned himself by 14 1/2 months. He never had any trouble going to sleep on his own.

If your baby is only getting up to feed once a night, then they can probably get to sleep on their own as they usually still wake up during the night just put themselves back to sleep.

Babies are very adaptable and so long as you are consistent when you make changes they will do just fine, DS1 had WCM before bed until he was coming up for 2 yrs, but it was out of a straw cup (he never took a bottle), and he did just fine.

HisChamaoleGirl · July 2014

AbbyMMM said:
We are still nursing to sleep for both bedtime and naps and back to sleep in the MOTN, but we do not plan to wean for more than a year from now. My biggest concern, like PP, is that I would like for others to be able to put LO to bed for the night so that I can stay out later every once in a while. It's really nice to hear from this thread that that is an option for a lot of moms.

We didn't know how to gently stop bedsharing, so I finally read "The no cry sleep solution." We are a few days into a new sleep plan that is inspired by Pantley's suggestion for a "mini family bed" and I already see improvement.

We sidecar-ed the crib (IKEA gulliver) to a twin mattress on the floor. That is, we took one side of the crib off and tightly secured the crib and mattress - like a big arm's reach cosleeper. We covered the little gap between the mattresses with egg crate foam, then tucked a king sized mattress cover and king fitted sheet tightly over the whole mattress conglomeration. This way I can side lying nurse him to sleep and slip away and he's (mostly) in his crib but with a familiar amount of space to roll around.

I wouldn't try it with a younger baby, bc there is the chance that he could roll all the way onto the twin mattress and onto the floor. We do have the long side of the twin against the wall, but he could do a fancy roll and fall off the two short ends. At 10 months and 20lbs, this does not scare me.

We have a video monitor and we've childproofed his room, so we see it as an early toddler bed situation.

So far, he sleeps much longer stretches at the beginning of the night. He has also stopped being so upset when he wakes. He just sits up and asks for me with some babbling. If I'm tired, I just stay asleep on the twin next to him for the rest of the night. Eventually, I hope to sleep the whole night in my room, only feeding him once a night.

Another thing we've done is really beefed up our bedtime routine. Per the book's suggestion, we really keep things calm, dim and quiet for a full hour before bedtime. We also sing the same simple lullaby after sleepy storytime, and he is already quick to rub his eyes when he hears that song - he knows it's bedtime. I've started rubbing his back when I start to nurse him to sleep. I think/hope these associations will help him transition to letting other people put him down. In about a week, we want to try all of these rituals with just DH and a bottle and see how it goes.

It's always reassuring to hear that you're not the only one still struggling with sleep! Good luck S13

Can you post a pic of the sleep arrangement you wrote about ?

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