Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: **Third-Party Reproduction Check-In - July 21st**
Hi ladies,
Hope all is well.
I am STILL waiting for my biopsy results; I'm getting more impatient and anxious everyday.
Definitely leaning towards transferring the last 2 in August, despite the results. I don't see the benefit of "verifying" the window of implantation. It either will be and I will waste another month, be on meds for another month and have to repeat the biopsy...wait 3 weeks for the results. I don't think so. I think we need to just do the transfer on the recommended window of receptivity. It either is or it's not. The idea of being stuck in this limbo much longer will make me lose my mind.
Other than that, still looking into our next steps after this FET.
Qotw - I actually don't like to travel. I like to be at home or only go away for a weekend and even then I get homesick
Hope I get my results and they are favorable and I hope everyone else has a good week!!!
Me (32) DOR, elevated NK Cells/ 2 copies of MTHFR mutation/ MH (35) azoo/high DFI (TTC#1 since 2009)
IVFs#1-4: (4/10-2/12) all BFN
Surprise Bfp (9/11) - c/p
DS IUI#1-2 (9/12, 10/12) - BFN
DS IVF: (11/12) - BFN
DE/DS IVF#1: (10/13) - 2 day 3 embies transferred-BFFN
FET of 2 day 6 blasts: (12/13) - c/p
DE/DS IVF #2: (4/14) - 1 day 5 blast transferred...BFFN...again.
FET 5/14: 1 day 5 hatching blast transferred...another BFFN
Repeat SHG 6/14-normal / Endometrial Receptivity Array biopsy 7/14-Receptive Uterus
New RE, additional testing reveals elevated NK Cells
FET of 1 day 5 blast (RE recommends transferring 1 due to elevated NK cells) with lovenox, steroids & intralipids in October
TTC since April 2010

BFP #1 – March 2011, missed m/c April 2011
BFP #2 – October 2011, m/c November 2011
Surprise BFP #3 – December 2011, diagnosed as cornual, terminated January 2012
BFP #4 – June 2012, m/c July 2012
Diagnosed with bicornuate ute and MTHR gene mutation
BFP #5 – October 2012, missed m/c November 2012
BFP #6 – January 2013, m/c March 2013
No longer TTC. Diagnosis: Hostile ute. Heartbroken and bitter. Pursuing surrogacy.
June 2013 - Carrier found! Could this really happen?!
~All AL always welcome~
@JimBobCooter FX for great CD 3 tests from your donor!
AFM: 24 days until our consult with Dr. KK. I can't remember if I updated here, but we decided to focus on one last cycle with my eggs and put off donor eggs. DH is still adament that we use donor sperm (he thinks we need to try something different, that obviously my eggs + his sperm doesn't work for us). I have a consult with the other RE at my clinic the end of September and I am excited about switching docs. I feel like we need a fresh start with a doc that hasn't given up on us. Right now I am just focusing on losing some weight (I'm almost down 10lbs, so off to a good start) and getting healthier to give my crappy eggs the best shot they have. Right now I am feeling positive about our treatment plan.
QOTW: The furthest I have traveled is to the UK for a work trip. Our UK office is in a tiny town about an hour outside of London. We spent a few days there working out of that office (mostly meeting with our CEO). It's definitely culture shock traveling outside of the US, but it was a great experience. We ended up staying in London over the weekend and doing some tourist stuff. While I would never want to live in London, it was a great place to visit.
TTC #1 since August 2011
My Blog
September 2012: Start IF testing
DH (32): SA is ok, slightly low morph, normal SCSA Me (32): Slightly low progesterone, hostile CM, carrier for CF, Moderately high NKC, High TNFa, heterozyogous mutated Factor XIII, and +APA
October 2012-May 2014: 4 failed IUIs, 3 failed IVFs, and 1 failed FETw/donor embryos
November 2014: IVF w/ICSI #4 Agonist/Antagonist with EPP and Prednisone, Baby Aspirin, Lovenox, and IVIG for immune issues. Converted to freeze all due to lining issues. 2 blasts frozen on day 6!
January 2015: FET #2 Cancelled due to lining issues
April 2015: FET #2.1
PAIF/SAIF Welcome!
************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************

Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
DH: Severe MFI
12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN
8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)
My ovaries are just for decoration
12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts.
2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.
6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!
9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d.
11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522 Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373
6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!
Snowflake baby is a girl!
Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!
My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
AFM 9 weeks today! Still feeling yucky. My boss called this morning and said they decided not to take me to Nantucket with them in 2 wks. As much as I whine going with them it is beautiful there and I figured this would be my last time and I was going to enjoy it.
They realize pg people do travel but they are being so protective of me. They said god forbid something did happen and weather is so unpredictable there that they worry I couldn't get off the island if needed. Oh well sounds silly but guess they are just keeping my best interest in mind
QOTD: I traveled to Croatia and toured while in a junior tamburtizan group back in high school. Beautiful!! Been to Serbia twice to visit family. Both my parents are from there so all my aunts and uncles and cousins live there. It makes me sad
Oh and that's a 9/10 hr flight. No idea how some stay on a plane longer than that!! I'm too antsy but wish I had opportunities to travel more.
ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive. Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)
DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!
AFM, I officially graduated from the endocronologist this week (11 weeks along) - they were all really wonderful as I was a patient that was there longer than most given my medical history and the procedures that I was required to have before they would move forward with me. This Friday we have the integrated scan/nuchal translucency test and then the following Friday I see my ob. We're heading to out of town this weekend and I couldn't more excited for a little getaway.
The farthest I've been is to Greece for our honeymoon - it was an incredible trip! I've also been very lucky and have the opportunity to travel to France, Italy, Monaco, London, Germany, Switzerland, and Austria, not to mention about half the US states. I love, love, love to travel.
Me: Diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2013, underwent fertility sparing surgery which left low ovarian reserve, no tubes, partial ovary | DH: perfectly normal
BFP: 5/30/2014 via donor eggs | EDD: 2/6/2015
Hi everyone! It sounds like everyone is doing pretty well. I'm so happy for all of you.
Check-in: I started BCP's on Friday. I haven't gotten my FET calendar yet, but it should be in about 6 weeks.
QOTW: The furthest I've traveled is to Mexico (Zhijuatenejo). I hope everyone has a great week!
ETA: Just got a call that my FET is scheduled for September 5th!
TTC #1 since May 2010
OE IVF #1 9/2/13 Cancelled- poor response
DE IVF #1 3/12/14- BFP 3/17/14- ectopic, right tube removed 4/11/14 @ 7 weeks
DE FET #1 7/3/14-Transferred 2 5AA 6 day embryos Beta 7/13/14 BFN
DE FET #2 9/5/14-Transferred 2 4BB 5 day embryos Beta 9/15/14 BFN
DE FET #3 in December- Cancelled, didn't respond to meds
DE FET #3 (2nd try) 2/13/15- Transferred 1 4BB and 1 4BA 5 day embryos Beta 2/23/15 BFN again (CP)
DE FET #4 - last 2 frosties....5/22/15- Transferred 1 4BA embryo...only one frostie thawed properly. Beta scheduled for 6/1- BFN (beta 2, 2.81, 6, 23, 49.4) 6/15/15 Discovered ectopic in left tube. Methotrexate given. Moving on to a new donor. Hoping to transfer by the end of the year.
Cant find a donor that is healthy and available. Looking at being happy with just the two of us.
Praying unceasingly for a miracle. ALL welcome!
12/2011: Finished chemo
5/2013: Cleared for DE IVF
11/13: DEgg IVF#1
8/5/14: Grace was born!
::: Married June 2003:::

TTC #1 since: Aug. 2008
Me: 34, DOR, MTHFR-A1298C (heterozygous), decreased blood flow to uterus, Mild Endo
DH: 38, Balanced translocation 5&10, unexplained MFI, normal SA and SCSA
Tx History: IUI 1&2= BFN
IVF# 1 W/ICSI= BFN
IVF# 2: cancelled d/t no response
IVF# 3= 1 egg retrieved=immature/not viable
IVF# 4= c/p
***CCRM ODWU***
Found DHs BT and Me-decreased blood flow to uterus
Recommended DE IVF w/PGD, incorporate electro-acupuncture. Decided to cycle locally
***New RE***
DE IVF# 1(cycle #6) w/pgd, (freeze all): 30R, 23M, 15F, slow/poor embryo development, 4 biopsied, 1 Normal "Norm"; DE IVF w/PGD, incorporate electro-acupuncture.
IVF# 6: (OE/DS) cancelled
IVF# 7: (OE/DS) 1R, 1M, 1F, arrested day 5
Plan-DE IVF# 2 (cycle #8): DE/DS in May 2015
http://icanhazbabyz.blogspot.com/
@liz4paws GL today
@Km672 hoping results are in soon
@Twinkie0612 keep us posted w Dr. KK consult
@Jessarab Yay for graduating to OB
Congratulations on milestones and BFPs. Hugs to those who need them.
Grateful to report that biopsy results are in and uterus us receptive. Waiting for AF to start new transfer. RE wants to be aggressive and transfer 3! This will be my third transfer so hoping that third time's a charm!
QOTW: for our honeymoon we went to Northern NZ, Sydney & Cairns in Australia.
TTC #1 since August 2011
My Blog
September 2012: Start IF testing
DH (32): SA is ok, slightly low morph, normal SCSA Me (32): Slightly low progesterone, hostile CM, carrier for CF, Moderately high NKC, High TNFa, heterozyogous mutated Factor XIII, and +APA
October 2012-May 2014: 4 failed IUIs, 3 failed IVFs, and 1 failed FETw/donor embryos
November 2014: IVF w/ICSI #4 Agonist/Antagonist with EPP and Prednisone, Baby Aspirin, Lovenox, and IVIG for immune issues. Converted to freeze all due to lining issues. 2 blasts frozen on day 6!
January 2015: FET #2 Cancelled due to lining issues
April 2015: FET #2.1
PAIF/SAIF Welcome!
Uterus is receptive! Transfer next cycle!
I'm so relieved... But scared because we are still unexplained
Me (32) DOR, elevated NK Cells/ 2 copies of MTHFR mutation/ MH (35) azoo/high DFI (TTC#1 since 2009)
IVFs#1-4: (4/10-2/12) all BFN
Surprise Bfp (9/11) - c/p
DS IUI#1-2 (9/12, 10/12) - BFN
DS IVF: (11/12) - BFN
DE/DS IVF#1: (10/13) - 2 day 3 embies transferred-BFFN
FET of 2 day 6 blasts: (12/13) - c/p
DE/DS IVF #2: (4/14) - 1 day 5 blast transferred...BFFN...again.
FET 5/14: 1 day 5 hatching blast transferred...another BFFN
Repeat SHG 6/14-normal / Endometrial Receptivity Array biopsy 7/14-Receptive Uterus
New RE, additional testing reveals elevated NK Cells
FET of 1 day 5 blast (RE recommends transferring 1 due to elevated NK cells) with lovenox, steroids & intralipids in October
Sept '11-April '13 ~ Testing, failed multiple MFI treatments, saving & TONS of praying
January 2014 ~ IVF/ICSI & PGS ~ no response to stims ~ converted to IUI ~ BFN
February 2014 ~ On to donor embyros ~ 5 blasts!!!
March 2014 ~ FET #1 ~ Transferred 2 blasts ~ BFN
July 2014 ~ Kliman's mock cycle with endometrial function test
Sample too small for EFT, HE slide showed immature cells
New protocol planned, saving for another biopsy for EFT
January 2015 ~ Considering adoption options
April 2015 ~ Privately arranged adoption of planned pregnancy
DD#1 ~ Lillyana Violet Marie born 6/15/16, Finalized adoption 12/20/16
July 13, 2018 ~ BFP....WTF?!?!
7/16 Beta #1 ~ 466...7/18 Beta #2 ~ 1,077...7/23 Beta #3 ~ 5,291
7/23 US #1 ~ 1 gestational sac seen and yolk sac
7/30 US #2 and 1st OB appt ~ 1 perfectly round gestational sac, 1 perfect yolk sac and 1 teeny tiny heart beat seen!!!
We had the anatomy scan yesterday and both girls are perfect! They are 14 and 15 ounces or "2 beer cans" per the MFM. So happy! Still not feeling movement yet....
Furthest trip was Europe-- it was a 3 week tour after law school.
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
All is well here.. BCP are kicking my butt as usual in extra hormonal on them but my skin looks great lol.
Lupron shot is in aug and then the fun begins. FET is sept 11th!!
Loved seeing all your updates ladies... It's been a busy summer for most of you and soon to be a hopefully successful fall for all of us still here waiting for our little miracles to happen!
IVF#1 Oct 2009 (CCRM) - BFN
IVF#2 March 2010 - Poor response/cancelled
DE IVF#1 Aug 2010 - BFN
DE IVF#2 Dec 2010 - Transferred 1, 2 frozen - BFP!
TTC#2 FET Jan 2013 - Transferred 1 - BFP!
PAIF response below:
I had my 28 week MFM appointment last week and everything is still looking good and on track. I actually just found out Friday that I PASSED my 1 hour GD test, so I'm very happy about that!
I was nervous because at my 24 week appointment, the MFM said baby boy was measuring on the "higher end" (which I thought could be a sign of GD). At 28 weeks, he's right smack in the middle of "normal" which is a relief, although I know measurements can and will change as we get closer. I also signed up for a childbirth class (in August), so that just makes things feel more real.
Sending hugs to anyone that needs them this week! I often think of those still cycling and struggling, so please know you're in my T&P's.
Finally, shout outs to some of the recent rainbow babies that have arrived, including @DoublePortion, congrats on your twins, @Liz4Paws, congrats on little Sammy and @brooklynesque, I hope all went well this week!
Me: AMA, DOR, undetectable AMH, carrier of SMA, MTHFR homozygous C677T, high cytokines, low IGg B cells, Factor XIII V34l mutation, High Anti-Phosphatidylethanolmine, borderline hypothyroid and mildly insulin resistant.
MH: No known issues, aside from MTHFR.
Recommendations from RI: LIT, Humira, IVIG, Lovenox, Baby Aspirin, Folic Acid, Low-dose synthroid and Metformin.
Currently taking: Pre-Natal vitamins, Foltanx, Low-dose synthroid and Metformin.
When cycling also taking: Baby Aspirin, Lovenox, Humira and IVIG.
TTC since 7/11/09..with medical intervention starting in 2010, including 4 failed IVF's and 6 failed IUI's...only "success" was a chemical pregnancy in 11/2012 (credited to use of DE).
FET #1 (11th cycle) on 8/23/13 = BFN.
FET #2 (12th cycle) Transfer of last two (day 6) donor egg blasts on 1/22/14 = BFP, EDD = 10/10/14 (please stick little BOY!)
My favorite breed:
***PAIF/SAIF always welcome***
ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive. Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)
DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!
SAIF Always Welcome
TTC #1 since Fall 2008
High FSH, Sertoli Cell Only Syndrome
Unsuccessful with my OE, moving to DE + DS
DE + DS IVF #1: Dec 2012 - BFP, nothing at first u/s
DE + DS IVF #3: 7/12/13 - BFP! Finally! No heartbeat at 7w1d.
ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive. Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)
DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!
SAIF Always Welcome
TTC #1 since Fall 2008
High FSH, Sertoli Cell Only Syndrome
Unsuccessful with my OE, moving to DE + DS
DE + DS IVF #1: Dec 2012 - BFP, nothing at first u/s
DE + DS IVF #3: 7/12/13 - BFP! Finally! No heartbeat at 7w1d.