Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
first miscarriage, help
i just found out i few days ago that i miscarried. i didn't even know that i was pregnant...i'm on bc and we aren't trying. i'm kind of at a loss. how is it that i can be grieving so much over a situation i didn't even know i was in until it was over? my heart is broken and i don't even know to begin.
how long does it take to go back to normal?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: first miscarriage, help
I was about 4 weeks along when we found out I had m/c...we didn't even know I was pregnant either as I was on the mirena IUC when it happened...I passed some 'tissue' that was actually the forming of the fetus...I went into the dr's the next day and the blood test confirmed that we were in fact pregnant...I had to go back and have follow up blood work to make sure that the HCG levels were going back down...
Long story short is that I think about this often...the loss of something that we didn't even know was there/happening...it does get easier with time...it was a mix of emotions from shock to sadness to thought of 'what could have been'...it does get easier with time...
first off, thanks for the kind words.
i think the hardest part right now is that i haven't even been able to wrap my head around the whole thing yet. how did i not know i was pregnant? did i loose it because of something i did, or is this a sign that i am going to have problems trying to have children in the future?
i'm so sad right now and my husband has now idea how to handle it. he ended up telling one of our friends and his wife, and now they're bugging me. i know that they're just trying to be there for me, but i just want to be left alone. i don't like that they're trying to be supper careful with me, like i'm broken or something. they don't seem to understand that they just need to let me be sad right now.
I know what you mean, I hate that MIL looks at me like I'm a broken person too. ? ?
?It's hard to grieve something like this, and its even harder to grieve since you didn't know until it was too late. ?Just know that there's wonderful women on here to talk to and to take the time you need to figure things out.?
I've been through this twice. Once at 10 weeks 2 years ago and again at 11 weeks this past summer. The grieving is different for each person. I still can't look at a pg girl withough thinking about what I would have looked like if my baby had stuck. I lost my last pg in July. I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling. But you can't expect us to tell you when it will go away, b/c we can't do that. I am still grieving months later. I want to be pg more than anything. DH and I are ready to bring a baby into this world and it hurts me more than anything. I will pray for you. I hope you try again, especially since this is something that you didn't think that you wanted and are hurting so badly over now that it is too late. GL, and I hope you find happiness through the storm.
thanks again ladies for you kind words, thoughts and prayers. having the chance to talk to others that are feeling what i am feeling helps. i just want you to know that i am grateful for you taking the time to respond to me and let me know that there are others out there that can understand my situation.
i'm going to try to get some sleep. take care and my thoughts are with you too.
It never really goes back to normal-at least not for me. I think about it less and less every day but something brings it up if not every day-every few. You see someone with a baby and even if the sadness doesnt come you wonder what it would have been like.
It will get better.
There is nothing that you did do or could have done to prevent what happened...in terms of having future children I wouldn't say that this has a bearing on having more children exactly...I had m/c in July '07 and kept the mirena in until Sept. 5, '08 and believe it or not, we were pregnant that same day...miracles do happen.