Sh** not to say to pregnant women....

MissMandyD · July 2014

I was having dinner with my girlfriend who is 25 weeks last night. She told me about this middle aged receptionist at her work that has been saying such incredibly rude things to her that I just had to share.

1. She asked when my friend was due and when she told her November 1st the woman said..."really?!...but you are SO HUGE already....you must have an enormous baby in there...are you sure there aren't 2 or 3?"

2. The next day she saw my friend on a working lunch and cornered her in front a co-worker and started making more comments about how much she was eating...how huge she looked...how the baby must be enormous and on and on and on. Finally my friend had enough so she sent her an email saying there is no need for you and I to discuss my pregnancy since you clearly can't do so without being rude.

3. The woman then proceeds to send her a fake apology email and bitch to everyone in the office who will listen about how my friend shouldn't have gotten pregnant if she didn't want to talk about it and how dare she be so bitchy and not want to discuss her pregnancy.

What is your favorite sh** never to say to pregnant people?

AmandaJean12 · July 2014

Yesterday we were with acquaintances that have a 3 month old. She would ask me a question, and then tell me my how I knew nothing. "You're going to try breastdfeeding? It's so much worse than you think." "You're not going to cloth diaper? Disposables are so bad for your baby and the environment." "You're not planning an epidural? You'll totally ask for it anyway."

I wish throwing your drink in someone's face was a socially acceptable way to respond to mom bitchery.

swizz09 · July 2014

That is awful and really goes beyond just a comment and becomes harassment. I have zero patience for that crap. My favorite sayings are:
1) "Are you ready for this baby?" (To which I reply well we think so) then they reply with " Oh no, you have no idea what it's like."

2) My husband and I are both rather loud people. So the next person that tells me my kid is going to be loud might just get punched in the face.

3) Most unwarranted advice. If I ask, then great, but if I make a comment about something I plan to do that is not permission for you to tell me how wrong I am and what I should do.

Pregnancy hormones are making me more and more annoyed with people in general. :P

asarem93 · July 2014

Wow.... some people just have no boundaries!

I hate when people tell me I'm going to give up on cloth diapers after a week/month. And when I say I'm having a natural birth they say "good luck with that" like they know I can't do it. Have a little faith please!

I really hate the cliches people say:
Sleep now
Your sex life will be over
Enjoy life while you can
Etc....
People make it sound like having a baby is the WORST thing you could possibly put yourself through!

Aarg · July 2014

Holy hell! You ladies know some rude ass people!!

I get the occasional "wow! You're huge! You sure it's only 1?" Which I usually respond with "maybe! I guess we'll wait and see!" (I know we're only having one! Lol) by the time they react to my comment, I have already walked away! Haha

I just ignore all the other comments people say. I usually try and say something witty.

MissMandyD · July 2014

asarem93 said:

Wow.... some people just have no boundaries! I hate when people tell me I'm going to give up on cloth diapers after a week/month. And when I say I'm having a natural birth they say "good luck with that" like they know I can't do it. Have a little faith please! I really hate the cliches people say: Sleep now Your sex life will be over Enjoy life while you can Etc.... People make it sound like having a baby is the WORST thing you could possibly put yourself through!

Ditto all this! After a struggle to get to this point nothing gets under my skin faster than...

1. Comments that imply having a baby is the worst thing ever.

2. Anything that seems like they are routing for you to fail.

Littledeer84 · July 2014

I keep getting comments about how small I am. I think people are trying to be nice...but I just don't know what to say each time I hear "are your sure there is a baby in there?" or "at least you are showing a little now" among other things.

Aarg · July 2014

I just thought of something that I hate...
I don't think it's very nice to ask a pregnant woman if she's "ready" to have a baby.
I have been asked this a few times when we announced and I just slap them with the facts about how my husband and I have been TTCing for 3 years, I miscarried during my first pregancy, and we were blessed that we were able to conceive a second time without medication.

Yeah... That usually leaves them with their jaw dropped for a few minutes and stuttering trying to figure out what to say to apologize. lol I always leave the conversation cracking up!

golfingdarwinfish · July 2014

Wow.... I've had no unsolicited comments, inquiries, or advice. Granted I don't discuss my pregnancy at all at work, but still, I'm now impressed that my colleagues perhaps understand boundaries better than others. Two women have told me I look adorable, but beyond that, nada....

I feel very lucky right now and if this continues will thank my colleagues with cake.

victoria+james · July 2014

My most hated comments always start with "How far along are you?" No matter how far along I am the next comment is always "Oh, my friend lost her baby 2 weeks later than that..."

angeltennis3 · July 2014

victoria+james said:
My most hated comments always start with "How far along are you?" No matter how far along I am the next comment is always "Oh, my friend lost her baby 2 weeks later than that..."

OMG that is just terrible.

I mostly hate a belly toucher (mostly my mom - whose house I am on my way to now with DH.) I purposely wear my cross body purse so it hangs awkwardly in front of my stomach so she can't touch it. The next time she tries I am just going to tell her to back off.

ladybug0088 · July 2014

My mom told me today that the minister's daughter at our church had her baby on Monday. My mom had seen the daughter out and about this past Friday and had commented that she must've not had the baby yet because she was out walking around with her mom and still looked huge. She was shocked to find out that she had actually had the baby 4 days earlier.

Her next comment (thankfully to just me) was that she still looked really huge I had to explain to her that it's not like your stomach just deflates the day after you have a baby.

She was like, well, I don't remember being that big 4 days after having either of my babies.

I hope she doesn't have any expectation as to how fast I will lose weight because that is NOT going to be on my radar a few days after giving birth.

I nicely reminded her that she probably just didn't remember her size a few days after birth because she was busy enjoying her newborn baby.

KariAnnM 23 · July 2014

"Should you really be eating that?" I have my glucose tomorrow morning and for the past week my mom has visited my room and looked at my stash of snacks asking me if I should be eating certain things. Should I? No, but I don't need you pointing it out to me. Im tired of hospital food and want Cheeze-Its!!!!

MrsL2B · July 2014

Nearly every time someone asks, I tell them I'm doing great, just because I don't really want to get into that discussion again. And if i give them two seconds to respond, they say "just you wait!" and proceed to tell me something shitty about their or their spouse's pregnancy. I'm pretty quick now about redirecting (following up with asking how something specific in their life is going) or just getting the hell out of there.

People also seem to love to tell me stories about the dangerous accidents and certain deaths that their children narrowly avoided.

Sockgnome78 · July 2014

I have not gotten a lot of rude comments.

I did get something a little strange on Friday. One of DH's coworkers let me in the building and knew who I was. But I did not remember her. So we are chatting as she lets me in. And she tells me that she did not know that we were expecting and heard it from someone else. We had already posted it on FB, which she does not have an account. I was not sure what to say.

I just felt bad. But not really knowing her am I going to walk around DH's off telling everyone I see that we are expecting. So I just let it go and changed the subject.

rosalie12 · July 2014

Mine is the same as others have mentioned. When they complain about their babies keeping them up throughout the night and say that my husband and I are never going to sleep and say we have no idea what's coming. Well I might not know exactly what's coming (no one does) but we are both adults who decided that we wanted a baby and then tried for several months. Can't they just be happy that we are expecting and keep their negativity to themselves? Because them telling me that I have no idea what's coming and having a baby will change my life forever in a negative way isn't helping anyone.

shelly2314 · July 2014

Let's see, I have gotten the random old woman at WalGreens that told me approximate 15 times how HUGE I was. When I finally said I'm having twins, her response "Well that makes sense b/c they take up all the room. It explains why you are so big." Awesome, thanks, hadn't realized I was---thanks for pointing it out.

***you can't give them pacifiers, how lazy of a parent you will be for that

**you have a pitbull! You will have to get rid of him! (excuse me?? I've had him for 6 years and he is around babies and kids all the time.) I wouldn't get rid of my children if I decided to get a dog in a few years

***Just you wait....." and that is followed by a plethora of how much life is going to suck for us once the twins get here.

Rickaroo922 · July 2014

My son (2.5) said "Wow Mommy, your tummy is big even bigger than the moon!" Kid is lucky I love him.

Emerald27 · July 2014

I haven't received many comments regarding my pregnancy/size, but I have heard a lot (especially from my mom...ugh!) about how I'm turning my toddler's world upside down, how jealous he'll be of his baby brother, how much of an adjustment this will be for DS...it's like giving him a sibling in some ways ruins his life!!! Grr X(

I've also heard some comments, mostly from the same people, about how hard life with two will be. I thought one was hard, well think again! How am I going to manage xyz scenarios?!

kaniela17 · July 2014

Emerald27 said:

I haven't received many comments regarding my pregnancy/size, but I have heard a lot (especially from my mom...ugh!) about how I'm turning my toddler's world upside down, how jealous he'll be of his baby brother, how much of an adjustment this will be for DS...it's like giving him a sibling in some ways ruins his life!!! Grr X( I've also heard some comments, mostly from the same people, about how hard life with two will be. I thought one was hard, well think again! How am I going to manage xyz scenarios?!

I got the jealousy thing too from my brother. Apparently since I'm still breast feeding my 2.5yo, he's gonna be super jealous of the baby having his "bahbahs" and it's just going to get worse as they get older. I guess because that's how his kids are, that'll be exactly how my kids will be. Oh and my mom too, she tells me there won't be enough milk for both the baby and my toddler so I really need to wean my toddler before the baby is born.

jenndub · July 2014

I get a lot of "That's definitely a boy!" And then I tell them it's a girl and they almost always tell me about a friend they have that thought they were having a girl and it was really a boy. This has happened with all of my girls. I just carry low and all in front, that doesn't mean it's a boy.

I also don't appreciate anyone that tells me 4 kids is too many.

meggiev123 · July 2014

Wow, I feel so lucky that in Ukraine no one says a word about pregnancy (it's considered bad luck). DH did tell me the other day though that he thought I was gaining a little bit of weight in my butt. Thanks hon.

victoria+james · July 2014

Today was another "wear heels day" at work. The dress I was wearing made me look even more pregnant than I actually am. Upon asking DH if the outfit I was wearing looked ok he refused to comment until I promised I wouldn't get upset... then he said "You have to wear flats. You look like the Hindenberg right before it went down which is what will happen if you wear those." Luckily I thought it was too funny to be offended by it.

Aarg · July 2014

People are always commenting on how we are Team Green and we dont want to know the sex until LO is born.
The convo always ends up:

"So do you know what you're having?"
"Nope!"
"... :-< well are you gonna find out?!"
"Nope!"
"... :-< That's stupid! Why would you wait? I want to know!"

Bitch I don't care if you want to know! And thank you for calling me stupid!

Aarg · July 2014

jalara48 said:
After telling a friend, who is due the first week of October, about how we have to take EVERYTHING we could possibly need to India with us, she laughed and said wouldn't it be funny if they lost your luggage.

No. No it wouldn't. Why would you say that? Bitch. Do you seriously not understand how incredibly stressful it is to know that we have to be that prepared and that we'll be absolutely alone? If she would have been in front of me I would of told her off. Instead I hung up.

What is wrong with people thinking things like that are funny?!?!

MrsL2B · July 2014

Emerald27 said:
I haven't received many comments regarding my pregnancy/size, but I have heard a lot (especially from my mom...ugh!) about how I'm turning my toddler's world upside down, how jealous he'll be of his baby brother, how much of an adjustment this will be for DS...it's like giving him a sibling in some ways ruins his life!!! Grr X(

I've also heard some comments, mostly from the same people, about how hard life with two will be. I thought one was hard, well think again! How am I going to manage xyz scenarios?!

I've gotten some comments along this line lately, but strangely about my dog. He's got a good life, but he's not even close to spoiled. His life is most certainly not about to be ruined by the arrival of a baby.

Firemanswife11 · July 2014

This one guy at work is f-king RUDE, rude, rude! (I'll preface this with saying he's in his 50s and still lives with mama because he could never find someone to put up with his smelly [literally!] ass.)

On the way to my 20 week scan, you know, to make sure baby had all of his parts in working order, he said he hoped my baby had a head. He went on to say, "Oh, God, what if it has TWO HEADS? I hope your baby isn't some mutant thing with TWO HEADS."

WTF?

Anyway, people at work have finally stopped asking me questions because I've gotten rather snarky. They ask how I am and I tell them, "awful." They ask if I'm ready and I tell them, "No, not hardly prepared." My favorite is when someone asks me, "Are you sure your pit bull won't eat your baby?" ... I'm just tired of it. Being pregnant is not an invitation for everyone to pry on your every move and thought.

bumpuser10309732 · July 2014

@Emerald27 Ok- I get the jealousy thing but ruin your kids life by having a sibling. WTF?! I've been told one kid is the hard part! 2+ is easy! :-)

I've also had people ask what I'm having and then they go hmm...I'm pretty sure you only carry boys that way. Oh really? I didn't know you knew how I carried babies since A you don't know me and B this is my first. I've also had the are you sure there's not twins in there? Yup, pretty sure it's not twins thanks. Why don't people just keep their mouth shut unless it's to say You look great!

nightowl1989 · July 2014

All of this. I've only personally experienced the horror stories and then there was this guy who had the nerve to say I would beg for an epidural when I said I was going to use the Bradley Method. Did his wife use it? No? Shut the f*** up then.

hotdot28 · July 2014

@jenndub my husbands step mother has told me this at least 3 times that we are having a boy and not a girl. All because 8 years ago it happened to her daughter. Thankfully we are not in anyway close to this women and I have just stopped talking to her but for a while she really had me upset because that was the only thing she could say to me. I'm not dumb I know there is a chance that this little girl could be a little boy and we will love our little baby no matter what, but we are excited to be having a little girl and I don't need you shoving your stupid story in my face every time I see you! It was 8 years ago times and equipment have changed! All that ranting to say I know how you feel!

ss265 · July 2014

I was at a birthday party a few weeks ago and a guest at the party saw me with my bump and DS who is 20 months and made a comment that my husband and I were very brave to be adding a second child to our family when my son was so young. She hadn't even met us yet and this was the first thing she said. She also asked if DS was premature because in her opinion, he seemed small compared to the other toddler who was there who is a couple of months younger than him. I was ready to slug her!

ADH0906 · July 2014

jalara48 said:
After telling a friend, who is due the first week of October, about how we have to take EVERYTHING we could possibly need to India with us, she laughed and said wouldn't it be funny if they lost your luggage.

No. No it wouldn't. Why would you say that? Bitch. Do you seriously not understand how incredibly stressful it is to know that we have to be that prepared and that we'll be absolutely alone? If she would have been in front of me I would of told her off. Instead I hung up.

Holy shit, what a terrible thing to make you worry about. My heart races just thinking about losing every piece of baby gear you've brought with you...who the fuck would bring that up?

rae76 · July 2014

I haven't had any extremely rude comments other than "Are you sure you are ready for two?" My DS is 5..I've lost 2 since him. Yes I'm ready! But most people don't know that.

What bothers me the most is that really no one says anything to me at all to even acknowledge my pregnancy both at work or in my albeit very small circle of "friends". At work I understand why....there are 2 of us pregnant and the other one won't quit talking about her baby/pregnancy all day every day so pretty much everyone is sick of hearing about babies. So I feel like I shouldn't say a word about mine at work. It's been months since any of my friends even said a word to me about how things are going or asked how I am, so I just don't bring it up with them either. My sister and DH are the only people that I talk to and usually my sister asks before I say anything on my own.

atraveller · July 2014

golfingdarwinfish said:

Wow.... I've had no unsolicited comments, inquiries, or advice. Granted I don't discuss my pregnancy at all at work, but still, I'm now impressed that my colleagues perhaps understand boundaries better than others. Two women have told me I look adorable, but beyond that, nada....

I feel very lucky right now and if this continues will thank my colleagues with cake.

I've been lucky in that respect too. My colleagues ( I work remote) just keep asking for pictures and when I send them they all tell me how adorable I am. I feel very lucky to have very little to none of the unsolicted stuff I just read from all of you. I agree with other PP's that people need to learn boundaries and whether they have kids or don't have kids learn to be a bit more circumspect and sensitive in what they say. OP - the woman who inspired the start of this post is in my opinion - a jealous bitter bitch and good for you for putting her in her place.

I'd say the only comments I've gotten that get under my skin in the least - is the occasional (as other PP's have mentioned) - live it up now, as once the baby comes your life won't be your own. Though the person who has said that the most is my BIL and well, he's got one of those kinds of sense of humors and my sister is a high maintenance pain in the ass - so for him it might be true - as she basically hands him a daily honey do list... my DH would laugh at me if I did that.

LaDyBostonRN · July 2014

@‌AmandaJean12

W-O-W that shit annoys me to no end. I absolutely hate these comments. It's the same as the "Oh you think you're ready for a baby, you have no idea". It's like first off, you really don't know my life, it my experiences, etc. Second, you're kind of ruining all the excitement. Third, why don't you just STFU. Like now.

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