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More dating advice... WDPT?

MamatoA2010MamatoA2010 member
in Parenting
So I've had 4 dates in the past 2 weeks with my new man. He's super sweet, gentle, loving, kind, patient, understanding and funny. But he comes with multiple red flags. He's a divorced dad in his early 40's, overweight, has legal issues, health issues and is unemployed. At my family and friends urging I broke it off with him this week and told him I wasn't ready to be dating. I can't stop thinking about this guy though. I sent him a text yesterday asking him if its okay if we communicate via text or if that's too confusing because I certainly don't want to lead him on. I told him I was cool with remaining friends and if the time is right down the road we can explore dating. He wrote back that he needs a few weeks to clear his head and we can start communicating again sometime next month. I'm cool with that. I know I'm not 17 anymore but I cried in the car after ending things with him. We had chemistry and really clicked from the first date. I realize I don't know him well yet but I want to give the guy a chance. Thoughts anyone?
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Re: More dating advice... WDPT?

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  • MamatoA2010MamatoA2010 member
    @PrivacyWanted- NO criminal charges! Legal issues regarding his former employer
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  • MamatoA2010MamatoA2010 member
    @PrivacyWanted- yes, he is actively looking and has had multiple interviews which is a good sign...
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  • MamatoA2010MamatoA2010 member
    @aditigirl- I wasn't saying that divorce, having kids and being overweight was a red flag. I was just explaining more about him. I'm not passing judgment. I too am overweight, divorced and have a kid.
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  • MamatoA2010MamatoA2010 member

    Unemployed for about 5-6 months... @CourtandNate

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  • MamatoA2010MamatoA2010 member
    @AuburnGirlSC- oh, I am definitely ready!
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  • jesuisfatigueejesuisfatiguee member
    I wouldn't start a relationship with someone who is unemployed. 



    image
    image

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  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    jesuisfatiguee said:

    I wouldn't start a relationship with someone who is unemployed. 

    This. Ive dated to many 'fixer uper' guys and they were all partiers who were unemployed and couldnt hold a job
    image
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  • ShakeyJakeyShakeyJakey member
    Listen to your gut. I'm sure you're lonely and the attention feels better but if you think they're red flags, they are. Hold out for someone better.

    Harry Styles = Life Ruiner

    image

    There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
    Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
    Without you I'll never make it out alive
    But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing 
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  • ShakeyJakeyShakeyJakey member
    jesuisfatiguee said:

    I wouldn't start a relationship with someone who is unemployed. 

    If it wasn't their fault, like a lay off, I would. But someone isn't likely to tell the truth about why they're unemployed to someone they're interested in.

    Harry Styles = Life Ruiner

    image

    There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
    Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
    Without you I'll never make it out alive
    But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing 
    Report Reply
  • MamatoA2010MamatoA2010 member
    Thanks everyone for the feedback- both positive and negative. Looks like I have a lot of thinking to do...
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  • ShakeyJakeyShakeyJakey member
    edited July 2014
    MinnesotaMomma91 said:

    jesuisfatiguee said:

    I wouldn't start a relationship with someone who is unemployed. 

    This. Ive dated to many 'fixer uper' guys and they were all partiers who were unemployed and couldnt hold a job
    Ftr I don't mean lonely as a bad thing. I'm lonely when SO works nights for a week. I just mean don't settle. You deserve an equal, someone who has the same goals as you.

    I didn't mean to quote @MInnesotaMama‌91 but I'm too lazy to fix if.

    Eta fixed tag. Sorry @minnesoatamama I meant to tag @MinnesotaMomma91‌

    Harry Styles = Life Ruiner

    image

    There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
    Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
    Without you I'll never make it out alive
    But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing 
    Report Reply
  • spotco2spotco2 member
    I would need more details about the legal trouble before I could pass judgement on someone.

    Texting and wanting to stay friends is leading him on in my opinion.
    Proud 40 year old, first time daddy!
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