Tummy Touching

Irishm2b · July 2014

So now that everyone around us knows that we are expecting and many have adorable baby bumps... how do you all feel about people touching your belly? I personally find it very uncomfortable! I have to see my MIL today and I know she is going to want to touch my stomach but I don't know how to tell her not to.

jlamb1206 · July 2014

I've only had one person do it and I was mostly still blump so I was more, "Hey, dont touch my fat" self-conscious than anything else but I def hear what you're saying. I feel like your MIL should know your level of physical touchyfeely-ness by now and respect it, but I guess they just get so excited. I wish I could say I have the balls to rub their poochy tummy or just casually reach up and cup their breast while maintaining conversation to give them a taste of their own medicine but I probably won't. Maybe just try to intercept and hold their hand as they reach out for you?

pregnantinstyle · July 2014

My husbands side of the family does this all the time at family gatherings. The death stare does not work on them. My MIL would never touch my belly but all of our cousins and aunts and some uncles have no problem grabbing me mid sentence and think it's totally normal. I wish there was a nice way to tell them to gtf off and don't touch but no matter what I do they always revert back to rubbing my belly and calling me buddabelly. I guess they think it's good luck or something. I think today I am going to tell them to kindly not do that anymore. I doubt they will listen but at least I will be able to express myself. Maybe if i do it back to them they'll start to get it. It's just rude!

LilnNimoy · July 2014

I have decided that I don't care at all. People are excited and touching let's them feel a part of it. I am not cuddly, huggy... In general I'm not a toucher/don't like being touched but since getting pregnant I just see its not all about me. I don't care who it is. (I do think its silly now BC you can't feel anything but hey! They like it and it doesn't hurt me, though not letting them might hurt them. Not worth it!) #handsonpregnancy

path75 · July 2014

I am kind of dreading this as well. I don't think there is much you can do. Maybe you can distract them by passing gas or belching. LOL

JulieSC81 · July 2014

I cant stand it. My MIL used to RUB my belly and put her face ON my belly to talk to my DS when i was pregnant with him. I hated it but put up with it...i think i put up with it because he was the first grand child. This time i flat out told her that i didn't like it then and I'm not doing it this time. Such a relief! No one touches me. And just to be safe, i bought a shirt that says "If you didn't put it in here, don't touch it". Classy I know. But desperate measures call for desperate actions.

OhBaby+2013 · July 2014

I'm not above smacking someone's hand. I do and jokingly say "get". It's your body, and soon to be your baby. It's time to start practicing boundaries. If you think belly touching is bad just wait until strangers start pinching cheeks!

NELSMD · July 2014

Yeah, I'm generally fine with it, too. I can understand why some aren't, though.

taylojade57 · July 2014

Right now I'm not really showing, so only people that actually know, touch me... But that makes me feel uncomfortable because they are just touching pudge. But when I start showing, people I know, people that ask, and old ladies get a free pass. Anybody else, I will touch them in whatever manner they touch me.

Lizzieg888 · July 2014

I have a lot of male coworkers and one of the like to touch my belly. It's super uncomfortable. I don't want to sound bitch but I'm like personal space please.

JulieSC81 · July 2014

@MegN914‌, just tell her what i told my MIL. My SO told me to just let her. I asked him "so are you asking me to continue to be uncomfortable just to make your mother happy about rubbing my body?". That shut him up. Just tell her you dont want her to. My MIL will seriously look at my belly and give me a sad face. I pretend I dont notice. Nope. No. Not happening.

Cheekers2010 · July 2014

Honestly it doesn't really bother me unless it's a complete stranger. Then I'm taken aback but friends are ok. I did have one woman just sit there and rub my belly with my son. That was awkward and invasive.

EmuTavi · July 2014

Hufflepuff42 said:
I'm usually chill with it if a good friend or an immediate family member b/c I know they are excited. Not so close, but I've met you. Ask first. If you're a relative stranger? Nuh-uh!

This!

racheldiaries · July 2014

I don't mind close family and friends touching so much. I would prefer they ask first otherwise it catches me off guard. However, I don't like it when they are all up in my business for several minutes though. A nice little rub for a second is fine but sitting there petting my tummy for several minutes is awkward. It's happened to me by one specific person on multiple occasions... in the same night. As for strangers? They better prepare for a hand on their stomach right back.

*Edited for clarity.

Annya26 · July 2014

I don't mind as long as I know them. Strangers is a no go. I feel protective of my belly in public, like someone could hurt the baby or something. Not likely and pretty irrational but it makes for a strong reaction when a stranger tries to touch.

Last time I had a woman LIFT MY SHIRT in a store and try to touch my belly. It took everything in me not to clock her.

BankerBSN · July 2014

Only two people have touched my belly. One is my mentally disabled brother who starting holding my belly as soon as we told (8 weeks) and my 80yo colleague that is retiring the 31st of this month. I tend to step back if I feel a hand coming my way.

dianeg1017 · July 2014

I'm not a touchy feely person or a hugger but for some reason this doesn't bother me much. I have never had a complete stranger touch me not even with dd I'm not sure how I would feel but with family I think it's totally fine.

nesenotes · July 2014

I kind of cringe because I feel like right now there are no outside kicks so they are feeling nothing. But i just suck it up. This is my last pregnancy so I'm just letting people have at it. I'm never going to do this again in my life.

esr9435 · July 2014

No one has touched yet without asking, so it hasn't really bothered me. While it's early and a little awkward, it's just been close friends and family and I know they are just really excited.

It makes me happy to know they love our baby, even if it means right now their way of showing it is they are rubbing my fat. Lol

Strangers, absolutely not!

emp156 · July 2014

not into it - at. all.

that said, i think it's totally different when the baby is kicking/moving and i INVITE people to feel if they'd like. at the moment i think it's especially uncomfortable bc it's not like i have a big obvious bump.

it's happened a few times so far. death stare and/or open-mouth response didn't convey as much displeasure as i'd hoped, haha. two things did (i wouldn't do these with everyone, but it worked with some friends/acquaintances):

- touch the other person's belly. haha. my friend laughed and thought it was totally weird when i did it back to her (um, it is) and completely got the point

- when i politely discouraged an acquaintance from doing so, she said "but doesn't your DH get to touch your belly?" to which i replied "yes, but he also gets to touch a lot of thins that are off-limits to everyone else, haha" message received.

*ETA: anyone who is remotely close to me knows that i have a very large range of personal space (not really a touchy/huggy person). seems odd to assume that suddenly pregnancy would have changed this. if anything, i think i'm even more protective of my personal space...

RosieB0514 · July 2014

I have only had a couple people do this so far, one being my super annoying step MIL. She went in for a feel but landed on my left boob and kept patting it for a good 5 seconds and then she realized it wasn't the bump. Awkward! Another family friend came in for a feel and my husband joking shouted "if you didn't put it there, don't touch it!" Which was pretty comical. Generally I'm ok with close friends and family, I'm not sure what I will do if a stranger touches it!

beachy6 · July 2014

I told my DH that I wanted the shirt that says, "If you didn't put it here, don't touch it", but he didn't think it was fair since technically, he didn't put it there either

I'm okay with DH and my mom. But, even my mom asks before she touches my bloated uterus. I have had people I work with touch it and it made me freeze. For the first time in my life I was speechless. I just avoided them for the rest of the school year. When school starts back up, I'm gonna have to let them know to keep their hands to themselves.

Eora3 · July 2014

Why not just say "That makes me uncomfortable"? We are all grown women! We have big girl words!!! Tell people to keep their hands off!

BrideLinds · July 2014

I really don't mind the touching. A random stranger would definitely not be cool, but friends, family, and coworkers I'm cool with. It's nice to know that they are excited about the baby too.

feeshah · July 2014

DONT TOUCH ME!
I say that pretty darn loud.

If they do make contact I just touch their bellys back and make direct eye contact and ask "You like that shit?"
Usually gets them to back off.

StopTheRWord · July 2014

I am okay with it, although the only people who have done it so far are family and close friends. Now I don't know what I will do if one of my students tries, that would be beyond weird.

agsgrrl · July 2014

My fiancées cousin did that to me when I was like 6 weeks. I literally outweigh her by 100lb, I just jumped and said "whoa that's still just burgers and beer!" My family won't do it but my MIL will. She's about the only one I will allow

ebilbao · July 2014

Close friends and people I like are okay. Otherwise, keep your grubby mitts off my bump.

LadyRoarsome · July 2014

MIL would never touch my belly. Hell, she's never around. It's actually sad that H's family doesn't care enough to be around and SIL only calls when she needs money. The people who would touch my belly though, I don't care. If you don't like it just tell her.

mightymango · July 2014

It depends on who it is for me, family is fine, my mother in law is all over it which is...ok. My coworkers...only if I'm friendly with them. I have a couple of people at work that are ok but if you've crossed me...dont effing touch me.

Don't forget, if you have bad touch you can always yell "I NEED AN ADULT!!!"

vintagejjane · July 2014

I like my personal bubble. I don't like when people touch my stomach unless it's DD or DH. No one has tried so far this pregnancy. Last pregnancy, I was "overdue", tired, hormonal, and cranky and I swatted someone's hand away from touching my bump.

wdraper32 · July 2014

It doesn't bother me as long as they don't linger around rubbing my belly. I have had a stranger touch mine and it caught me off guard but didn't bother me. To each their own though.

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