Return to work not as smooth as I thought.

*sparky* · July 2014

Prior to ML I was on a 24-hr a week schedule. That was three days/wk leaving at 4 pm. While I was out I spoke to my boss about my schedule when I return and he was surprisingly cool about it.

He said he understood I had new demands on my time and that if I needed to cut back my hours or change anything we could work it out. He wanted to talk in person once I came back to work out details.

So I came with two different proposals for him. He responds by saying that not only do I need to stick with the three days/week I was working, I can no longer leave at 4 because too many things come up and there is no one here to deal with them. So now he is talking about me working more hours.

There are several people who work remotely, as in they don't live anywhere near here and work remotely all the time, only
Traveling here occasionally, but he won't let me WAH even one day a week for an interim period. I explained I will still have my nanny when I am at home and I can actually put in more hours on those days than the days I am in the office.

He has a new boss and they are apparently doing an organizational review and he wants me to wait until that is complete to figure out my schedule. In the meantime he wants me to do it his way.

So I am at a loss as to how to handle it. I am salaried so he is certainly entitled to tell me I have to stay late but to tell me I have to plan on staying around every day in case something comes up seems ridiculous. I have a laptop and cell phone and can be reached when I am not here.

How would you deal with this? I am ok playing hardball because ultimately if this is what I have to do I will have to quit anyway.

bumpuser10331514 · July 2014

If he's been reasonable and reliable in the past, I'd take him at his word to wait it out - assuming you can swing it. Just try to commit him to a timeframe (like 3 weeks), so you have the opportunity to reevaluate where things are with his new boss and the reorg.

VOR · July 2014

He has a new boss- he's feeling pressure from above, it seems. He probably wants actual people in the office so that the new boss SEES this.

As such, I agree w/ the PP. I'd try to work with him for a short period and see what happens.

summererobinson · July 2014

I would tell him your willing to do it for a few weeks till things get settled and then in a few weeks bring it up again

SunAndRain · July 2014

He has a new boss? I'd step it up, be the best team player possible, and give him all the support he needs. Now isn't the time to scale back. New bosses can mean reorgs or assessing staffing. You may find that you have to prove your worth all over again. So I'd plan on working more hours. And hope that the dust settles before long.

*sparky* · July 2014

Thanks for the advice. I know you are all correct, but the problem is I am not able to do what he is asking me to. My DH is out of town and/or commuting a long distance Mon-Thu, so he is gone from 6 am until whenever. He usually gets home as the kids are going to bed. I have to be able to leave the office early or it just doesn't work for our family. I can't have neither parent home in the evening ever, or at least neither of us reliably home in the evening.

So that is why I said I am okay playing hardball. If I can't leave early I have to quit. I really don't have a choice.

potbellypig · July 2014

It sounds as though doing what your boss is asking you to do would be stretching you/your family thin. If this is indeed the case, your options are to either play hardball and look for something else, or to do as others suggested and do the longer hours for a limited time frame hoping it gets better while looking for something else in case it doesn't.

ss265 · July 2014

potbellypig said:

It sounds as though doing what your boss is asking you to do would be stretching you/your family thin. If this is indeed the case, your options are to either play hardball and look for something else, or to do as others suggested and do the longer hours for a limited time frame hoping it gets better while looking for something else in case it doesn't.

This! How late is he asking you to stay? Would you still be able to get home at a reasonable hour to feed your kids and get them to bed? If that's true, then it might be worth it to work the extra hours for a short time period. If he comes back and says that this needs to be a long term thing though, then it might be time to look for something else.

bumpuser10331514 · July 2014

I don't think you even have to play hardball. I think it's just communicating your limitations and trying to find a middleground that works for both of you. And if you can't find it, then you go your separate ways.

I suppose I would just tell him that you can commit to the schedule you had before and then also be available from home in the evenings via phone and email. I'm sure he would find it more helpful to have you some than not at all.

Or maybe you could suggest that you be allowed to get your kids and bring them to work with you on a temporary basis, if in 3 weeks (or whatever), you could go back to something similar to your old schedule. In this event, you might want to think of what you would need to make this more accommodating for you since having your kids at work is going to be crazy and horrible. Maybe an office for them to play in, an office for you (if you don't have one), access to TV or netflix or something, and/or "light duty" - so you don't have to work on any of your regular stuff, but just the stuff that comes up after 4pm. I'd also reiterate the need for maximum flexibility unless he would prefer to find someone else.

KayteeGee · July 2014

*sparky* said:

Thanks for the advice. I know you are all correct, but the problem is I am not able to do what he is asking me to. My DH is out of town and/or commuting a long distance Mon-Thu, so he is gone from 6 am until whenever. He usually gets home as the kids are going to bed. I have to be able to leave the office early or it just doesn't work for our family. I can't have neither parent home in the evening ever, or at least neither of us reliably home in the evening.

So that is why I said I am okay playing hardball. If I can't leave early I have to quit. I really don't have a choice.

So it sounds like you know what you have to do. Tell him that you can't commit to what he's asking because it doesn't work for your family.
Not being snarky, but if you really have no other option than to do the schedule you had pre-ML or quit then I'm not entirely sure what you're asking?
My advice is just to be honest: This won't work for my family, the best I can give you is XXX. If that doesn't work, I totally understand and respect that, but in that case I would have to give notice.

SunAndRain · July 2014

OK, your follow up really does change my answer then. But I agree with PP: have a conversation with him about your time limitations. Look for ways to give a little. Hopefully it won't come down to you having to quit over a few hours per week disconnect.

Beevol · July 2014

If you are willing to quit, then I'd just sit down with your boss and say "I don't think that working 3 days a week from 8am to 6 pm (or whatever) will work for me, these are my constraints (childcare, etc etc, lay it out for him/her). I want to do what is best for our team, and I'm sure you have constraints that I'm not aware of in play as well. How can we come to a compromise that allows me to stay in this position?"

Be up front and honest - if s/he can't or wont budge and you don't need the money/can't afford the childcare to cover that extra time, then you can walk away with no hard feelings. If s/he is under a lot of pressure from their new boss and just isn't thinking like a leader, you can help bring it back to "what's best for the team" with you being part of that team and nudge them back into a leadership mode of thinking (which to me means one that allows for compromise).

*sparky* · July 2014

@KayteeGee‌ - that is not snarky - it is a valid question. I am not sure what I am looking for. I am just disappointed because just a week before I came back he was all "whatever you need, I understand you have more demands on your time, we can cut your hours back if we need to, blah, blah, blah." Then he hits me with the opposite on my first day back after I thought he was going to work with me.

I am guessing he is getting pressure from his new boss but there are so many people who work remotely, work non-standard hours, etc. we all have cell phones and laptops so we can be reached in off hours.

I don't want to burn bridges and I don't want to be one of those people who quits right after ML after they have held my job open for me. So I don't want to be obnoxious about it but at the same time I may end up having to quit.

I think the advice of @Beevol‌ is good - I need to lay out my constraints again and see if we can find a middle ground. If not I need to just quit in the most amicable way possible.

emberlee3 · July 2014

I understand being stressed because this was thrown on you when you got back from ML. But you work 24 hrs/week. So even if you add a few hours or shift your schedule a bit, you're still going to have the vast majority of your time for your family. I would try to find a compromise, unless you have other reasons to quit. I know you have a school aged son. Can the nanny bring him to activities, so you just meet them there instead of coming home first? This is what we plan to have our nanny do when DS starts school.

snicksnack · July 2014

I have a couple of questions is he paying you for 24 hours and expecting you to work more on a regular basis? You mentioned you were salary, and while I do that as a full-time employee I would not be cool with it has a part-time employee. The second is more of an observation than a question I know it seems unfair that others are remote etc… but I am a remote employee I work at a satelight office and my boss is cool with it as I live 85 miles from our headquarters but he just announced his retirement and we have no idea who is coming in and if he or she will be cool with two of us being remote. He may just be trying to protect the jobs of others showing the office runs great even with flext schedules etc. and while it sucks for you talk to him and find out if he is just waiting for the dust to settle. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

*sparky* · July 2014

@snicksnack - yes, he wants me to be available to stay in he evenings but is not changing my pay or giving me my benefits back.

The nanny is picking DS up from school at 3. She would drive him to practice if she needed to but the problem I am having is I don't know when I'll be getting home in the evenings if I do things my boss's way and even if I only work til 4 the kids are already with he nanny for 10 hours because I have an hour commute each way. So let's say I have to stay til 7 - then they're with the nanny for close to 13 hours a day. I know it's just 3 days a week but I am not okay with that for my infant.

Hopefully I am not offending anyone by saying that - it is just my preference.

emberlee3 · July 2014

I totally understand not wanting to be away for 13 hrs/day. And I also get the frustration of having plans and expectations, making child care arrangements accordingly, then being asked by your boss to change everything. Similar thing happened to me after I had DD.

I just thought maybe if you could appease the boss by working until 5, it might be ok temporarily. But 3 extra hours, that's crazy.

An hour commute each way sucks. That would definitely go in my "reasons to quit column."

*sparky* · July 2014

@emberlee3‌ - thank you. I feel like a PITA with all of my demands. The commute does suck, esp since DH works so far away. But they have worked with me until now so it was ok. I am talking to him again next week and will update.

snicksnack · July 2014

Good luck I feel for you. I have had bad commutes that is why I work at a satellite office now and go to headquarters one day a week.

kikimeemee · July 2014

If you are salaried at 24 hrs and more often than not are working more than 24 hrs/week with no pay increase, the employer is "benefitting" over you as the employee and this violates the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA). You can try that angle to try to get your hours back to 24 more consistently.

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Return to work not as smooth as I thought.

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