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April 2014 Moms
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Give me some perspective

RoufiRoufi member
in April 2014 Moms
I'm fuming mad right now and could use some help putting this into perspective and brushing it off.

Before Shea was born, my SIL's just kept lobbing their baby hand-me-downs our way, some of which were gross/dirty/worn out, and many of which have been awesome.

However I have always found that hand-me-downs come with strings and are more trouble than they are worth.

So when SIL1 told us not to buy a pnp because she had a nearly new one passed to her by SIL2 that SIL only used twice with her 2 yr old, we said "Great!" and LO sleeps in it in our room all night every night.
SIL just called H this morning saying that she needs the pnp back for a few days (presumably for a trip or a stay at the grandparents) and can we have it ready to go tomorrow morning? To which H says "ok, we'll make it work. After all it is hers."

Am I being unreasonable to think that it is really inconsiderate of her
to expect us to uproot our 2.5 month old and his sleep routine when she insisted that we shouldn't buy our own pnp since she never used it? Probably. The whole situation just rubs me the wrong way.

Sorry for the novel :S
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Re: Give me some perspective

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  • ricekezricekez member
    I'd be mad, too. When you "hand something down," it's a gift unless you specifically say that you're lending it and want it back later. You can't just ask for it back while the people you gave it to are still using it! That's rude.

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  • RrrrrachelRrrrrachel member
    Totally rude it was a gift not a loan and even if it was a loan that's still rude.
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  • ricekezricekez member
    What Jellysparkles says is probably true - have you or your husband told SIL that you use the PNP every night?

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  • MrsZ0811MrsZ0811 member
    I agree what jelly said it true. I think it also makes a bit of a difference if it was a gift or a loan. My BFF is pregnant and due begining of January. We have agreed to give them some of our stuff (things we have multiple of) and loan other and have made it clear which is which. Although regardless i think it is super rude to call only a couple days ahead even if it was only a loan.
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  • RoufiRoufi member
    Thanks guys for confirming that it's not completely in my head.

    It is technically a loan, since between H's 3 sisters, there is a lot of sharing of items that are not in use, and for the most part we are now lucky to benefit from this, however when she made the offer I expected (and asked her several times if) she was done with it, and expected that we would be granted that same courtesy.

    And despite me thanking her on several occasions explaining that we reallyappreciate the use of it since it allows us to keep him close at night, the way they used their bassinet, you are all probably right that it just doesn't occur to her/ didn 't really sink in because they never used it that way.

    The day of warning before having to switch up something as fundamental as his sleeping is what really bothers me, since on this short notice I don't really have the time and $ to pick up a new one in the next day, but I think that is what we will do. In the meantime I guess I'll drag a mattress into the nursery and hope for the best tomorrow night.
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