Can't sleep... Too many feelings

Poppy523 · July 2014

DH has an interview in CT because his boss here in TN is a total nuttery. It would be a good job and a promotion in a good company. The down side is well... We JUST moved here a year ago. I like it and I like our home. We have to go if he gets the job because we are a one income family and he is miserable at his job here and when he is unhappy I am unhappy. He would never move our family again for a job if he didn't think it was he right thing and I have complained on here before about how horrible his boss is so it is a justified concern he has.

Anyways, I have so many issues on my mind because of it I haven't slept in days

I am going to have to move at the end of my pregnancy. That means a temporary apartment with a toddler, and depending on how long it takes us to find a house, with a newborn. I lived in a temporary apartment when we moved here and it sucked. I seriously can't imagine bringing home a newborn to one and then having to move into a house.

We also just started EI therapy and it's going so well. I don't want that to get delayed, but it seems inevitable of we move. It was so had to get all the services started

And to top it all off I have to change doctors mid pregnancy and by mid- I mean in my third trimester which is stressful enough in itself because I am pretty particular. Along with finding a pediatrician and all the other kinds of doctors we need.

The stress and feelings are so overwhelming and DH didn't even get the job yet. He leaves tomorrow for the interview

I want him to get it so badly, but secretly I would feel so relieved if he didn't (but only for a short time since I know this job isn't the right one for him or our family).

This is super long and pointless, I was just hoping I could feel better by getting it all out. Someone tell me it won't be that bad please!

kleigh926 · July 2014

I am so sorry you're having to deal with this

I understand a lot of your feelings because there was a possibility we'd have to move late during my third trimester if DH couldn't find a job here. All the same thoughts were running through my mind. It's very stressful. There are definitely pros and cons to both sides. I hope that things work out as best they can for you.

Poppy523 · July 2014

I'm so glad I posted my worries, I only wish I had sooner! I am so relieved EI transfers I thought it would be messy changing states and we would have to qualify again, what a huge relief! I also love the idea of renting a house, I had not thought of that, I was so set on what what we did when we moved here that I didn't consider other methods. Thank you, ladies

SummerLove21 · July 2014

I would second trying to get a rental house and renting until you are in a emotional space to buy again. I will never, ever move back into an apartment while expecting again (unless there is no other option). That way, you have a "home" but without the urgency to move again.

Good luck with everything!!!

tamarar5 · July 2014

Lots of good things already, so I'll just say good luck! I actually wish I WAS in your shoes. DH's potential job wouldn't have us moving until March — if it e even becomes a realty. So I would be moving in the snow, with two babies, a huge distance. As much as I still really want it to happen, I wish it could happen now.

ally2011 · July 2014

I think sometimes things are worse in our heads. Not to say that is not a lot to deal with, but try not to worry about things that have not happened yet. You could be in a temporary apartment for a week, find the perfect house and have a smooth transition - or better, find the perfect house and have no temporary apartment at all. Finding an OB and other docs could be much easier than you think and maybe you will like them better than the ones you have. Maybe their EI services are more streamlined and easier to access. Maybe a million positive things..... Not trying to be all sunshine and roses, but I am just trying to point out that for each thing you are worrying about, it just as likely that it will not be a problem as that it will. And if it is, you will deal with it then with actual facts instead of just a lot of "what ifs" and scenarios playing in your head. I think a lot of times we have what we need to deal with things when they happen....but not to worry about them in advance. Try to take a deep breath and look at the positives if your husband were happy in his job....the transition might be a little challenging, but thinking about life a year or two from now with him in a different job versus his current one might help.

Huge hugs, I hate transition so I completely understand how you are feeling. I am just trying to give another perspective and encourage you that even if it is crazy timing it might not be as bad as you think. Hang in there mama!

ally2011 · July 2014

Oh, and I agree with renting for a bit, that is a great idea.

lc&jw · July 2014

That's a lot of change to be dealing with all at one time. When I get overwhelmed about change like that I try to remind myself about how many wonderful opportunities tend to come from change and to also remember that things always have a way of working out, even if it feels less than ideal in the moment.

Renting a house for a year might be a good option. You wouldn't have to move twice in a short time, you could fit all your stuff in the house, and you'd be able to settle in with the new baby and get through those first few difficult months without moving on top of that. It would also give you time to get to know the area, decide where you want to live, and look for a house that you're happy with.

If you have any questions about CT, feel free to PM me. I grew up there and have lived in several different towns there as an adult.

Fingers crossed that your DH rocks the interview and gets the job!

Poppy523 · July 2014

Thanks ladies!! We would need him to get a substantial raise if we were to move up there. Between COL and taxes it would need to be almost 35-40% in order for us to maintain our current standard of living. We lived near NYC before we came to TN, but we were both working and we didn't have two little ones to care for so our circumstances have changed quite a bit since we were up there. He just left for his interview, I am bummed that I had to give up a Sunday with him, I live for weekends when we are all together, but I am looking forward to getting this whole process over with and knowing what awaits us. Thank you for your kind words and support. We decided we are definitely going to rent a house for a while so we can take our time looking for a home up there, and possibly renovating before we even move in. I had just assumed we would hurry and try and buy, but you are right this makes more sense.

@PeanutR1, @lc&jw and @byebyebooze YGPM!

wells2010 · July 2014

Where in CT? I grew up there.

Depending on where you go, a lot of the schools (and EI) are great. PM me if you need advice on a certain area. (I'm from outside New Haven, but my mom lives in Fairfield County).

Good luck!

lc&jw · July 2014

Poppy523 said:

@PeanutR1, @lc&jw and @byebyebooze YGPM!

@Poppy523 Back at you!

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